"The bravest thing I feel I've done in my life is entering the kitchen while in labour to prepare dinner for myself and Odogwu before going to the hospital as a first-time mother. Please read carefully before telling yourself you'll do the same, especially as a first-timer. Between you, me, and God, we all know I'm not a motivational speaker. Don't try to do more than you can handle...
While pregnant, I realized how much sleep my husband was lacking. Amidst sleeping and snoring (when stressed), his hands unconsciously stayed awake all night to cuddle, tap me back to sleep, and cover me with a bedspread. At first, I thought he was always on vigil to answer every single call or noise I made, but later realized he was as pregnant as I was. Only that he wasn't(pregnant ) in the womb since he didn't have one.
Each time I coughed, sneezed, or moved in bed (changed sides), "baby, what's it?" or "sorry" escaped his lips. Most of these happened without his knowledge. I was as surprised as you when I found out. His spirit knew each time I got up to use the bathroom, and he would cuddle me immediately I returned.
During the day, he'd take flight immediately I said "dearest". It got worse during our last trimester. Sometimes I'd ask him if his house was on fire, and he'd say I wouldn't understand. I tried to make him understand that the baby wouldn't come until it was due. It didn't work for him. When his blood pressure started increasing, I knew I had to be strong for us. At nights, I'd lay my right hand on him and pray. I prayed to God to give him the mind to complete the journey with ease. To help him take every step calmly. One ngith with tears in my eyes, after another BP check, I held his hand in mine while he was sound asleep and said these words, "you won't leave me with a baby to care for; in fact, you're not permitted to try it. Even the demons in your father's house, in collaboration with mine, are not permitted to take your life. You shall carry your child, and we'll train this baby together". This became my prayer point most nights.
Few weeks to my EDD (expected day of delivery), I had to reduce how much I dialed his number in a day. Usually, we talked on calls (including videos) whenever he wasn't working or whenever I felt like talking, even when he was working, but when I noticed he was always tensed and eager to know why I called, I decided to minimize calling, so I called my sister almost always, just for company (something I craved more than food). And each time he called instead, to know how I was doing, I tried to sound as fine as I tried to make him believe.
When it was time for labour, I simply asked him to put the house in order. It was on a Sunday. Labour actually started on Saturday evening (30th Dec 2023), but I felt it was the usual cramps that kept coming and going, although it was more regular and painful. I couldn't sleep all through the night, so on Sunday morning (31st Dec 2023), I hurried him to do the laundry and clean the house. From what I've learned from an online nurse, My Midwife and I #MMI , I knew I was already in labour but had to compose myself so he doesn't panic.
Towards 1 pm that Sunday, the cramps became really painful and more regular; I mean back-to-back. I called my sister to inform her that I think I'm going into labor, but we both agreed I shouldn't rush to the hospital since I'm not sure but left for Odogwu, we would have been in the hospital since Saturday, but I kept telling him no each time he suggested.
"Towards 3 pm, I was talking through gritted teeth and tearing. I started feeling something pushing itself out of me. I was in the toilet every 2 minutes to urinate or defecate. It was one of those occasions I saw what we call "bloody show." My water bag didn't break as I was expecting.
Now, this is why I said you should read carefully and not try to do what I did. I was already dilating long before the bloody show, but didn't know. Which means I was supposed to be in the hospital or under special supervision to avoid complications, except I intended to have a home birth, which wasn't my intention, but I was too concerned about Odogwu that I didn't realize how much time I was spending at home which could lead to complications.
It was still at this point I entered the kitchen, shut the door behind me so he wouldn't see I was in severe pain, and fixed dinner. I knew it was time to go to the hospital, but needed him to eat something so he wouldn't suffer hunger along with emotional stress. Plus, I didn't want to be hungry while in labour. At least, let me know what was happening to me, wether it is labour or hunger. 🤣
At exactly 5 pm, I could no longer talk but made gestures. Good thing I had already sorted out everything I would need in the hospital. I told him it was time; we had to go now, so his friend drove us to the hospital while I vomited all the way. I didn't believe I would spend another 6 hours in the hospital.
We were at the hospital by 6 pm, and when the doctor checked, she said I was already 5 cm dilated. She was surprised I didn't rush to the hospital like most first-timers. I asked her, "Ma'am, when will my baby come out?" and she replied, "In the next 6 hours." I shouted, "6 hours!" 6 hours sounded like 6 days at that point. Surprisingly, Odogwu was very calm. What he didn't stop doing was praying. The only time he wanted to kpai was when I stripped myself naked, as though it would help with the pain. He begged me, but the moment I allowed him to cover me, the pains would return, and it felt like covering came with pains. At a point, I told him, "Oga, I don't care; let all the men in this world come and see; I don't care." He just placed his two hands on his head. 🤣🤣
Well, to drop my invisible pen, my baby came a minute after 12 am, making her the BABY OF THE YEAR in the hospital. Of course, we received lots of gifts.
Immediately Hallie came out and confirmed medically alright, the male doctor who later joined the first doctor looked at me and said, "You're not just beautiful but intelligent," I smiled with ease, and I replied, "Thank you, sir."
They were all impressed with how I complied with them. While stitching me, the female doctor said she loved how I made her job easy and stress-free, that it's usually a battle between her and mothers during stitching, and she was surprised how I managed to remain calm throughout the process. I didn't forget to tell her I learned a lot watching videos from My Midwife and I. 😊😊
BTW: these are pictures of the things I ate steadily while pregnant. Forgot to take pictures of the mangoes. I ate mangoes throughout my first trimester which was the worst trimester I experienced. Story for another day. Feed your eyes
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