Nice guys finish last.
I believe every myth, legend, folktale and even lie has a foundation in truth- no matter how far removed or dolled up.
The phrase above is no different.
I think we've all heard it at some point. Hell, I may not be a guy but I feel it.
There comes a point when the "nice guy" (who only considered himself a regular guy prior to this moment) has a profound epiphany and realizes the extent of his niceness, the volumes in which he's been screwed over, and that the two are directly related.
This is when he A. decides to stop being so nice, or B. swears off people forever.
It's about survival, right?
Just as the car can't drive with a crack in the engine block, a man can't live with a broken heart.
His friends tell him things will get better; not all humans take advantage and intentionally inflict harm.
But the pain is just too great for chances.
Besides, the past is proof. The Universe has shown him, time and again, that Nice Guy=Pain and Heartache.
But the Nice Guy always bushes himself off and lowers his shield. Eventually. It takes longer and longer each time, but it happens. He is, after all, nice by nature. It's in his DNA.
The Evil One is always lurking. Watching. The Evil Ones' radar is preset to seek out Nice Guy. Nice Guy makes a tasty yet unsatisfying meal. Evil is ever hungry because of this, therefore never rests.
Now, Evil... One may assume Evil is just evil for the sake of being evil. That would be a consideration for forgiveness. After all, Nice Guy can't help it- it's in his DNA, it's who he is. If Evil couldn't help it that might soften the blow.
But Evil knows full well what it's doing. Evil is calculating and deliberate. Evil may be insecure and nefarious but it fully realizes the extent of it's harm. This lingers like a rock in Evils gut; causing insomnia and emptiness. Evil cannot enjoy anymore. Nor taste delectable dishes. Or feel passion or belonging. Not anymore.
That is only the beginning of the price Evil pays for their choices.
Deception and malice fill the swimming pool for Evil. It may be ornate gold and Olympic sized but it's frigid and flowing with revolt and shame. Deficits of empathy are replaced with the diamond tears of it's victims. And the shattered hearts of those who did not survive form the elaborate stained glass windows where sun may never shine again.
Evil disgusts itself, so it pulls Nice down to the sewers for a footstool. The vicious lies that spew from the Evil ones lips slice it's tongue with razors, making Evil see fit to sever Nice and render him dehumanized, helpless and humiliated. Evil chooses to blame Nice. Who else could possibly be at fault? And because he's such a nice guy he accepts the target on his back. Nice is always aware of the targets whether he chooses to acknowledge or deny.
Evil's character disorder is carefully chosen and meticulously polished. When Evil is jealous, or wants something Nice has, there is no stopping or stalling.
Evil moves at its own pace.
It's the only thing Evil can control.
Evil is seriously disturbed, lacking the character attributes that most of us share. Yes, as humans we each are capable of hurting others, and we've each done so inadvertently or accidentally, or sometimes from sheer ignorance. But Evil consciously conspires to inflict harm. Evil's character disorder is wrapped in malice and tied with a bow of manipulation.
Despite it all, the pain and fear and helplessness and questions why, I choose Nice.
Choosing joy over malice allows for pain. But choosing evil ends stagnated in a pool of bile duct flavored misery.
Image via Pixabay
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I am not sure the nice guy needs to be seen as the opposite of the evil guy, if I understood your post correctly. In my experience (and I considered myself to be the nice guy for way too long) the nice guy gets what he creates, precisely because he is being nice not out of the goodness of his own heart but in order to manipulate people, to make them like him, to appeal to their preferences.
Some of the important characteristics you sorted to the evil are nothing but - I describe them as "solid", and a self-expression of what one is, with no need or interest to ask other people for permission first. Being who I am does not require your permission first, and when I imply that it does I put a burden on you that should be my own, namely to find out who I am and what this place is.
True evil goes a huge step further - it not only doesn't ask for permission, it will overstep its own boundaries into where the space of other sovereign beings' boundaries start, and continues to push regardless.
That is not being solid, it's weak in a way as it seems a strategy to evade hurt and responsibility, similar to the nice guy who always goes for the bread crumbs because of the programs running in his mind, shifting the burdens to the people around him.
If we all became more solid in our own way, actual niceness would materialize quickly that truly radiates because of its lack of alterior motives. Both "evil" and "nice" as we know them carry lots of alterior motives in them and are therefore quite similar (kind of like two sides of the same coin) and often simply a matter of perspective, not of objectively measurable behavior that furthers society's cohesion.
Your articles spark so many ideas in me every time I stumble upon one and it's been a while. Thanks kitty <3
Thank you so much for sharing this. I can understand there are many "nice guys" who manipulate for their own desires, and I have a question - is this for nefarious reasons?
Not purposefully, no - The intention is always good, but we just don't get how it turns everything bad ultimately - because we are not being real with people and therefore ourselves. It's that weird obsession with wanting to cure tension and friction before it even arises that creates resentment. And nice guys just don't see it.
My comment stems alrgely from being overly nice to women when approaching them (you could say being ULTRAPOLITE) and by that making everything turn awkward involuntarily every time (because it shows lack of self-worth and self-confidence). Took me years to figure out that "being super nice" was actually the opposite of what the women in my life wanted - no need to be an asshole or rude or anything like that (I hate being an asshole to people in general), but firmness and being determined are the masculine qualities that are required (assertion and direction) and these qualities come naturally if the conditioning wasn't in the way and we weren't all up in our heads all the time.
You tell me if you'd rather have a man in your life or a doormat.
The idea of stepping into and enjoying tension really was a lifesaver for me on an intellectual level and I highly recommend it to all the men out there who want to be nice - you CAN, just not through losing your spine. Same applies to mostly any social situation apart from dealing with the opposite sex - friends, work, success.
Brian put it rather well in this short vid:
Always a pleasure exploring my mind with ya hun, thanks!
This stems from a primitive vine...
Ancient women chose strong, virile men because their offspring would be healthy and strong. But these were the testosterone oozing ones, therefore wandered or fought as warriors so were not home much and died at a younger age.
The women of the village then chose the friendlier "nice guy" who stuck around the village to help raise the children. These men were not warriors so were around all the time.
😆🐻🐈
Cool words..
How they go together
Its a flow
Thank you <3
Becoming mentally and emotionally strong isn't something that happens overnight. When it seems that we've done all that we can do, know that we haven't.
It does take practice. Real world applications are the best sort of practice...
There is pain in this world, not just from circumstances that come naturally but from things other people do to you intentionally. I grew up with a big heart, always willing to help, but in this life i grew in its hard to do, most times i feel am from another world or from a different time. I have done all i can
It is ingrained.
I share similar thoughts sometimes as I observe strange and increasingly sloppy societal antics whilst going about my day...
You have a minor grammatical mistake in the following sentence:
It should be its own instead of it's own.great article , joy over malice . if we eliminate the pores where evil can get in we guarantee our healthy psychology
It can never be completely eliminated, however it does get easier with time :)
Wise words.
The good ones do bad things, and bad ones know how to appear good…so we cannot tell with any certainty who is who… That is why we are told not to judge the character, the heart and soul of each other… We lack the insight and ability to see through the facade everyone puts on when in the presence of other people… So that being the case, the answer in a practical, useful sense is No.
Personally I’ve found the best default belief to be that we are born with a weak, a damaged and vulnerable nature…not an evil one. Assume everyone to be good…perhaps way down deep inside where the sun don’t shine…but maybe seduced, brainwashed or just lost and in the middle of doing some horrible things something is stopping them from feeling guilty about… But there is always hope for them…and everyone. No one but God has the right to declare them irredeemable…and truly, permanently Bad… It’s a view which allows me to actually love my enemies rather than just pay the principle lip service.
I can understand your viewpoint. And to certainly extents I actually hold a similar viewpoint.
For this article, the Evil Lone is one who completely understands the harm he inflicts, and in fact conspires to cause pain in a malicious way.
In the past this Evil One could have changed. After they became aware of their choices and destruction. But that was long ago... they choose to be that way...
I don't offhand remember who said this, but the quote "Anger is like acid: It only corrodes the vessel it's in" comes to mind here.
According to my Human (who's a nice guy), nice guys don't finish last, they usually finish 3rd or 4th. Sometimes 2nd.
Nice becomes Evil by digging a hole on the front walkway that Evil will fall into when Evil comes calling to get his (her)pound of flesh. Or IS that evil? Or is it merely boundary setting?
=^..^=
Boundary setting...
I'm going to use use that one :)
as she resumes shoveling ...
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