Hello friends! I'm @lemony-cricket, and if you chuckled at the title, you're exactly my kind of person. If you rolled your eyes at the thought of someone turning such an innocent phrase into something to chuckle about, you're also my kind of person so, there's that.
If this doesn't count as fair use, I honestly quit the Universe.
I'm trying that "blogging" thing.
I'm doing a bit more of a "personal" blog post today than I usually do; one that actually resembles more of a blog entry than an article. I'm not gonna be educating anyone on anything or prattling on about my anti-authoritarian views today. Nope; today's post is about me.
I've been on Steem for a long time now. The better part of a year. It's hard for me to grasp the reality of how much time has passed. It may also be hard for others to guess how much I love Steem and the people here, when they see me not posting or interacting onchain for whole weeks at a time. For people who don't talk to me in other places, you may find it surprising that I still consider myself an active Steemian, but I do.
The truth is though, I have a problem. Actually I have several, but while it would probably be healthy for me to acknowledge and seek treatment for my anxiety and possible other "issues," that's never going to happen. The problem I'm talking about is mental, but it's not an illness. It's just a flaw.
I am a serial "starter."
Since I discovered Steem, I have had a ridiculous number of (what my mind has perceived to be) "brilliant" ideas for things built on top of it. I have spent entire days drawing them out on paper, diagramming them, mind-mapping them, writing code for them, talking excitedly about them with friends... starting them. What I have consistently failed to do is finish.
It's not just Steem, and it's not just development. My entire life is and has been like this. It's one new initiative after another with me... I want to learn an instrument. I want to speak every language in the world. I want to write a book. I want to teach a class. I want to make a video game; not one of those cheesy game-jam entries but a real, playable masterpiece with a story, art, a score, and amazing game mechanics... all of which I want to do myself (hey, the Touhou guy does it; I should have no problem doing it too). The list goes on... and on... and on.
I live with the chronic existential dread that I will never accomplish all of my goals, which is honestly (and unfortunately) a completely rational fear. In fact, it's irrational to hope that I can ever accomplish even a significant minority of everything I've ever set out to do. I just don't have enough free time left in my life. I spend too much of it working, socialising, eating, and fulfilling other "real world" responsibilities, all of which refuse to yield to my grandiose fantasies of being some kind of rockstar polymath.
But I can't take it. I can't accept reality. Instead I keep hopping back and forth between new and old ideas, planning them out and starting work then getting overwhelmed, scrapping them, and finding something else to do. I'm stuck in a loop. I don't think it's healthy. I want to do something about it... and I know that means letting go of some ideas. I just can't though. I can't look myself in the face and say... "I will never do this." It won't "compute." I'm in denial and I know it. So, I've decided to handle things a different way.
I've decided to start finishing.
I'm going to start tuning out my other ideas from my life. From now on, when I have a new (or old) idea while I'm in the middle of something else, I will write it down and then I will ignore it, until I have finished something. Then, I've earned the right to obsess over yet another project. Until then, though... well, I've got to stop writing cheques my free time and work ethic can't cash.
It starts with this post. This post is something I had an idea to do just earlier, while I was working on something else at work. I made a mental note of it and decided to come back to it when I had finished work for the day.
I finished that, and now I've finished this, and it feels good.
It feels good... to finish. 🍋
Posted from my blog with SteemPress.
Another serial starter here 🙌🏻 I totally get you. For me starting is always inspiring and powering. Then comes time to real work and even that doesn’t bother me. What usually bothers me is when I don’t get drive anymore from it.
Boost of adrenaline or endorphins. I get bored and I don’t ever finish.
A little over year ago I started a project of my own, again. But this time it was about finishing all the projects i’ve left hanging that still are worth finishing. That is still on going thing and I’m proud that I haven’t drop more stuff in the bottomless pit of undone’s.
It's good to know that I'm not alone (which is kind of a shitty thing to say, but they do say misery loves company ^_^). I never really suffer from a lack of drive though... not often. I just experience an overwhelming drive to do something else. That's the problem... that's the impulse I have to keep fighting now.
Good luck on finishing your stuff, whatever it is. It feels good to finish.
As I said in chat, I think you should start a git repo for some of your ideas. It might be a lot easier to finish some of your ideas if other people occasionally make changes, spurring you on to work on them more.
You and I have some similar ideas sometimes. It might be good if we ended up working on some things together a bit, to ensure they get a bit further along faster.
Well, most everything I touch is in a Git repo :P but yeah, you mean on GitHub or something.
I'm working on a couple of things that will definitely end up there. But first, I need to finish them.
I have some anxiety about putting half-finished stuff out there. I have come across others' half-finished projects and it's always a drag, especially when it's something I have been looking for and it turns out to just not work.
Anything I put out there publicly has to at least work, at a minimum. The thing I've been talking about in chat is almost there.
No, because Microsoft bought them. :P But you could host your own or use GitLabs or something.
Yeah, it sucks, but if it means that it might end up in a more complete state eventually, then it will be better. Hell, maybe the anxiety will make you finish it faster. :P
Good. I'm looking forward to it.
I often face the same agonies, having a thousand of very creative things to do, to write about.. And then life itself will not let them happen.
I think sometimes giving yourself a few moments of rest, helps you to set priorities to all your ideas.
Setting your priorities with time frames and choosing the best method (fifo, lifo, etc) can really make a difference!
I also love finishing, thanks for making me think about it and give me an extra incentive today!
I am really glad I made this post, because now I know I'm not alone in my struggles. It makes me feel more "normal" and it's encouraging; if others can deal with it effectively, so can I!
I'm trying just the finishing thing right now. I feel like trying to prioritise all of my goals would be another task. Maybe I'll make the next thing I do, once I finish something again.
You're quite welcome... I love finding out I've made a positive contribution ^_^
Thank you for your comment!
Well I dont know if this would help anyone, but I tend to write almost all my to-dos...
One of my problems is that I either loose my diary or do not understand my hand-writing 😁🤣
Have you heard of mind-mapping? I find that it's been the most successful at allowing me to "dump" my thoughts on an idea or topic, and push it out of my resident memory. It's even more powerful than a to-do list because as you think more about the idea, you can flesh it out by making new child nodes in the tree. That way, you can be sure that you capture everything, so once you've dumped your thoughts, you can truly "let go" without fear of forgetting something.
They make apps for it on phones, so you can keep it with you wherever you go. Might be worth a try!
3 cheers to breaking the loop and you finishing something bud!
I understand the being busy elsewhere on steemit. So much gets done off the block chain then on it feels like. I’m very active in a community now. Lots of hours a day now just to keep things moving along. As such I just don’t get around like I use to either.
Sorry if I’ve not been around much. I’m in my own world as well with my own battles. Have a great weekend if I don’t comment with you till after!
Hey, thanks!
Yeah I'm not so much active in a "community" as I am getting caught up in various chats and working on some of those projects I was talking about. But I need to remember to actually use Steem, lol.
Good luck with your battles and I appreciate you stopping by! Good kitty.
I do the same thing my friend.
Good to see you again my friend!
Posted using Partiko Android
Hi @lemony-cricket! We are @steem-ua, a new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation! In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 107 contributions, your post is ranked at #27. The readers like your work! Keep up the good work! Feel free to join our Discord server!
it is a wonderful resolve. we all need to learn to finish what we started, before getting into new adventures.
I finish all the time and have the kids to prove it :P
Finishing is good but it is not as important as releasing the idea into the void for the universe to have it. It may sound squirrely but releasing ideas is very important in the process of getting things done. We are all connected and each release is felt by someone else. Would it be nice to finish everything we start? Of course but it is more important to release it.
lol. haha you are right. and no im not stalking you. me and Lemony have got acquainted in UA user authority group as i call it... im not sure if they are that which i need .... i have to figure this all out.... i need to find out, what is the best use of liquid steem. the thing you did to boost my post, got me thinking of more options. by this time all i have earned and gifted, went all into my steem power, so im wondering is there a better way to grow. oh i just got an idea must write it down.... anyway,, ill stop my rant. have a nice evening. EDIT. DAMN got two thoughts at the same time, when i finished writing one the other thought just disappeared haha
you got a inpact on me. i think i will stop generating more thoughts, and just finish the unfinished. ....... what do you think of UA is is fair towards everyone?
Your view counter post was resteemed onto my feed so I decided to take a scroll down your blog. You are quite interesting lemony-cricket! Probably an anarchist! That cracked a smile. 😁
Let me know if you like the blogging thing. I can’t decide if I like it or not. I simply have nothing to say most days. I have thought about putting my silly fiction stories on a blog and using steempress-io. I wonder if I would earn more steem that way? But then I’m not a writer either! Lol. Oh well. Will take a rule out of your play book and try to finish this blogging thing on here. Congrats to finishing this post!
Btw the viewing counter is useless imo. Many points well-stated!