I got this logo from someone, but sadly I can't remember who..
Hi guys! This is the first contest I'm holding on Steemit!
Why is it called "the joke is always in the comments"?
If you're a Reddit user, and are particularly active in r/jokes, you'll get what I mean.
How to participate?
- Leave a joke (short or long) in the comments.
- Please upvote the joke that you like the most! I won't be upvoting any comments, it's up to the viewers.
- The person with the most upvotes on his or her comments by the 27th of June (12 pm GMT + 8) will win.
- The number of upvotes count, not the dollars. So if you're running short of voting power, you can always vote with a low percentage of your power.
- Resteem this post to bring awareness to others!
What will you win?
The winner at the end of the deadline will win 8 SBD + 30% of what this post earns, transferred directly into your account. It's not a lot but I hope it will encourage some participation!
Thanks in advance!
If it's successful, I'll hold more contests in the future. Hence, do follow me (or not) for future updates!
Btw, check out @sircork's website SteemChallenge.com. It's a directory for contests on Steemit.
I asked a hooker if she accepted bitcoin. She told me no because it goes up and down more than she does.
This post received a 1.6% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @btcvenom! For more information, click here!
A man visits his psychiatrist and talks about being haunted by visions of his departed relatives.
He says, "These ghosts are perched on the tops of fence posts around my garden every night. They sit there and watch me and watch me. What can I do?"
The psychiatrist says, "That's easy - just sharpen the tops of the posts.
"What do you call a sleepwalking nun?"
" A roamin' Catholic!" 😆
Cheesy. upvoted you
When Miley Cyrus gets naked & licks a hammer it's "art" & "music". But when I do it, I'm "drunk" and "have to leave the hardware store".
As a programmer for few years, here is the joke I always remember:
My program is not working, I have no idea where is wrong, um.......
(after some time on fixing........)
My program is working, but I have no idea why is working
It happens every time with me.
Real hell starts when yoy have to modify your program later :v
yes, i have no idea.
the worst case is the program work sometimes and wrong sometimes, this is fucking no idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nba is a joke.
When I greeted my boss in the morning, he told me to have a good day. So I thanked him and went back home.
Thanks for all of the comments! Keep em' coming and vote for your favorite.
That awkward moment when you have an eye contact while eating a banana?
Hm. Does this usually only happens to guys (the awkward moment spotted eating a banana)?
Hahaha in general
Thanks for all of the comments guys! Keep them coming :)
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu...
This made me laugh
Lol!
LMFAO!
Three doctors are talking about death.
The first, a dentist, says, “When I die, I think I’d like my tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble.”
“Hey,” adds the cardiologist, “that’s not a bad idea, I’d love my tombstone to be shaped as a heart…”
The gynecologist is silent for a bit, then says, “I think scattering of the ashes is my option.”
3 WAYS To CATCH A TIGER. . .
1- Newton's Method = Allow the tiger to catch you & catch the Tiger.
2- Einstein's Method = Chase the tiger until it becomes tired, then catch it.
3- Police Method = Catch a cat and beat it until it accepts its a tiger.
Here's an original joke I made up last week sometime and currently it's the only joke I can remember how to tell successfully, because I'm old and smoked weed for way too long.
Q. How come Edward can't catch a flight home from Russia?
A. Because he's Snowden.
:D
Very punny
Grandfather:
When I was your age,I used to go to the market with two rupees and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, ghee, face powder etc.
Grandson :
nowadays it is difficult....
There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
This post received a 4.2% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @howtostartablog! For more information, click here!
When we are stocking the cheese at Walmart, I can never come up with a cheesy joke...
I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
What do you get when you cross a human with a zebra?
Kicked out of the zoo for starters.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I am going to crossbreed my shit-zu with my bulldog.
I will call it a bullshit
My friend said his D is as long as A to Z :)
on the keyboard tho...
What's the difference between a tiny bird and a thousand zombies asking you for a cigarette?
One's a humming bird and the other's a bumming horde.
#Steemit is an owl who doesn't sleep whole night and makes "Uh-U, Uh-uuu, Coooomment, Uppp-vooooote, re-steeeeeeem"
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazillian.
There are only two things i really hate in people:
Patron coming up to the circulation desk at the library
Do you have any lined paper?
Librarian
Oh, I didn't realize they made paper with lining
great post
When I say Steem, my friends think about Steam the gaming platform. hahaha.
Wow btcvenom is leading by a lot! Last 24 hours!