If I attempt to take a careful look at this, there are some highlights that will aid my opinion

• been in a relationship with the most caring guy for 4 years
• No sign of commitment
• All attempts to define the relationship failed
• She met a new guy
• This guy wants to get hooked...
  Now this story is a funny but complicated one because :

*I don't know what this lady means by caring... And if it is what I think, I guess the relationship has been smooth for the past 4 years because the guy has been very caring and possibly doing his best to make her happy

• When a lady mentions commitment, l guess she is referring to being engaged by the guy or the guy has not officially made moves to fully commit himself to the big future (Possibly marriage)

*She has raised the issue with the guy but probably he has always tried to explain why he is yet to commit her or engage her. But the relationship is still healthy...

• Now she met a guy and decided to double date... (can you see that she even compromised before she discovered what she discovered? )

• Now she has what she wants from this new guy. So what's the problem? After all she decided to double date and this guy has suggested what she wants (settling down)... I guess she has what she wants, My opinion tho. Much love from me