The other day I wrote a post about how I was a little let down by our species. Yeah, it’s hard not to feel that way sometimes—especially seeing how we treat each other, the planet, or even myself. It really started to weigh on me. So in typical fashion and to release, I made a post about it.
I think it was something that was just building for a while overtime you know. Most likely it just comes from witness lots of things (cruelty, selfishness, ignorance, and indifference) pile up and change the way I viewed humanity. It also probably had a lot to do with the having to put our Bailey girl down and send her on to the other side.
It was not just one thing, but a collection of momments that wore me down to that point of feeling more cynical lately. But my concern is if my cynicism should be a natural response when my ideals run into reality.
Could it be a defense mechanism that is helping me defend against future letdowns?
It may be clouding my ability to see any good that still exists. Even the lighthouses as I called them in the post are harder to spot anymore as I seem to be viewing more and more people who displays kindness as having some angle.
I do find things that push back against the cynicism though. Like the recent good words and thoughts of others when my best friend and dog Bailey died. It was a powerful thing that in my grief, people, online and off, showed up with kindness. Their words and thoughts reminded me that through the fog and the storm, there are still lighthouses out there. There is still a thread of decency holding things together.
Why does it take heartbreak for me to see this though?
I am not sure, but been doing okay though, and I think it is because of the kindness that has been shown by everyone. It's not always easy to let others in when I am grieving, but the support of others has really helped me stay grounded.
Been getting back into my coin collecting a little more. I recently started ignoring the hobby some, but have really dove back into it lately. I have also been looking more into working on my truck and doing more work in the yard.
One of the truck projects I am looking forward to is installing new tail and headlight assemblies. I ordered new ones from eBay motors, but just been waiting for a good day or two of weather that will allow me to do the work.
As far as the coin collection, I am looking at my type set, although I may never complete it due to cost of some of the coins, I find it fun to research them and hunt for some. There is also my older commemorative coins that I like to collect as well.
Those kinds of activities give my heart a bit of rest. It’s a quiet kind of healing.
Thanks for reading,
Joe
Notes:
-All content is mine unless otherwise annotated.
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You have seen a lot of things that humans can do, and that is natural that you see things that are beyond the common people, I can understand that. As some say, that bad person is just a good person who has been hurt so badly in the past. I don't mean that you are bad, but you see people differently from your experience.
But I am happy that there are times when you can also see the little light that some people might have, maybe the light is not as strong as the light from the lighthouse, but at least there is still something shining out of it. Stay strong, my friend.
I can't wait to see more from your coin collection as well as your truck project. :)
Thanks. Just going through a time I guess. Other people have rougher stuff to deal with so I should just get on with it.
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I think you are more than allowed to feel that way. The world is becoming a much different place than what we grew up in. I think some of that is progress and it is probably okay. Likely people before us felt the same way. Some of it though is just ridiculous and I think eventually our own hubris is going to get the better of us.
You may be right. I might be becoming that grumpy old man who will be yelling at kids to get off my lawn if I don’t watch out.
You and me both!
😀
Every day our species let's us down and always will I am afraid. Maybe that is why I love just getting outside into nature so much as she has been through it all and will be here long after we continuously try to kill her. Even here on Hive we witness what you mentioned.
I keep meaning to see what coin shops we have near me. One day I will be bitten by that bug I am sure!
If you like learning about history then you should love collecting coins.
Yeah was the same with stamps too.
I hear you so much on this one mate. I tend toward cynicism too - it's hard not to when you see the terrible shit happening in the world. When we focus on these stories, it's hard to shift back onto the good ones. Our brains are particularly WIRED for negativity, because it is a defense mechanism that protects us from danger and evil. We even have to repeat stories about it to warn others and remind ourselves: lock the door, we may be robbed! Those people can't be trusted! Did you hear that....
But you and I know that isn't healthy. We have to be mindful that's not the only story we tell ourselves.
And yes, people's good sides come out when we really need them to, like when you're grieving and people are kind (I have a heart tattooed onto my forearm to remind me of this, every day). Or in disaster, when people do incredible things to help each other. The narrative is people look after themselves - there's always that guy in the disaster movie - but I do think the majority of us are actually willing to step up and help.
I have been trying something different lately when I get cynical. I recite a positive to myself like a mantra, as if it's a big stick to push me onto a different (neural) pathway. Like, facing a crowded beach: 'Isn't it nice that families get to spend time together in such a beautiful place? Aren't I lucky to live here year round? Or facing mass extinction: 'I'm so grateful for my beautiful garden and all the birds that come to visit' 'I love planting for birds and wildlife!'
To my suprise (I was cynical) it does work.
It is funny because I have been working on more positive self talk. Looking at the "bright side" of things, or at least attempting to. It is helping a great deal now that the weather is much better here now and I am able to get out into the yard and enjoy the beauty of the immediate outdoors. Your words are so appreciated and affirm my belief that my view is somewhat skewed.
There still are lighthouses out there, and they come in many forms and often from unexpected quarters.
Glad that you're back to doing the things you love @coinjoe! That for sure is:
Thank you! You are wonderful
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