Do your kids need to know about your emotional breakdown?

in ThoughtfulDailyPost2 years ago

Children are really sensitive when it comes to happenings around them no matter how hard we try to hide it but does that warrant throwing those emotional anger,stress, defeat in their face just because they already perceive something is wrong?

I visited my sister today and I met her amazing kids looking sober. Her eldest daughter whispered some secrets to me about how her mom had been behaving lately and it wasn't funny to me at all. She literally transferred her aggression on the kids making them understand that she was indeed going through some marriage crisis. These kids felt it was wrong to run around and play like children would want to because they were scared their mom would yell at every slight mistake.

I felt the heaviness in their hearts and I understood how much they wanted everything to be fine. My niece literally told me she missed her mommy and I knew what that meant. I couldn't leave them in that state so I took them for a short walk in the estate where they reside to play and at least breathe some fresh air. They were super excited and felt like kids again.


In my opinion, It's not right for a parent to transfer his or her aggression whatsoever on children. They are harmless creatures that know nothing even though they feel something may be wrong, it's in our place to let them know that whatever may have gone wrong would be fixed immediately. Try to make them happy, try to make them forget that there's an underlying issue. Kids can be even more sober than adults and it affects them mentally, educationally and physically.

When a home isn't comfortable anymore for a child, he or she tends to want to be somewhere else that's peaceful, filled with laughter and friendship because that's all they need now as they grow. Friendship with children is very important, make friends with your child and remain that way whether or not you're going through something. There's a proper way to relate things to them to their understanding than just yelling, pacing around the house crying or hissing and breaking things.

Like I said before they do perceive when their mommy and daddy is having a fight or when their single mom or dad is annoyed at something or going through some emotional stress.

Don't avoid them because you're upset, play with them like you used to, relate a few of what you're going through to them but make sure you're positive at the end. Remember that you're their first super hero and if you fail to fix things then they can't trust you in times of when they face trouble because they'll feel you can't handle it. Make them feel comfortable around you, these kids are amazing and can be the best medicine to any type of stress. When they understand what's going on, you see them waking up early to give you warm hugs, kisses on the forehead like you do to them and they may even go extra to wanting to make you some tea. To enjoy this beautiful experience with your child/children make them your best friend and try to stay a little positive around them.

I had to tell my sister all these and she broke down in tears, the truth did hurt but she had to listen and yeah, she apologized to her amazing kids and they're all good now.

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One thing I've noticed is that most parents, will say and do the craziest things when it comes to teaching their kids about good behavior and discipline, but they'll barely acknowledge or encourage the good deeds and the talent their kid holds naturally.

They'll scold and probably beat the shit out of the kid, when the kid is being mischievous, but they'll barely show any signs of love and care when the kid actually does something good. Then one day, when that kid grows up, the parents will wonder why their kid is slowly distancing themselves from their parents.

Sometimes these parents do realize what they've done wrong, but by then, it's just too late; the damage done is too deep, engraved into the mind and skin of the child.

but they'll barely acknowledge or encourage the good deeds and the talent their kid holds naturally.

True! My mom was like this, she called the grooming process but I never liked it at all.

Encouraging and appreciating the small good things these kids do makes them better. It's not only in scolding a child, too much punishments and scolds makes them feel unloved and want to rub away. It's good to appreciate the little things our kids do because it helps them grow better and want to put in more efforts. Thanks for sharing your thoughts

Sadly, most parents are more busy building up a "disciplined" human being through their strict tactics, rather than making a loving little friend. A child who can come to their parents with every issue they face, from A to Z, never having to be scared to shy away. That's what I would call the perfect parent and child relationship.

most parents are more busy building up a "disciplined" human being through their strict tactics,

This was one annoying part of growing up. Haha, my mom was one worse disciplinarian and I hated it everytime she started preaching.

That's what I would call the perfect parent and child relationship.

Yeah! Same here. Children nowadays are scared of telling their parents things because of the lashing they'll get.

My parents were fairly strict as well, but when I hit my teens they slowly let go of me. Now after many, many years, I think I'm doing quite alright, I didn't turn out to be the worst I'd say haha. My two younger brothers also seem to be on the correct path; I was the one who'd be more involved in guiding them, more than my parents at least, but I think I am guiding and teaching them well, so far.

Children nowadays are scared of telling their parents things because of the lashing they'll get.

And sadly, that is why these kids slowly drift away, sometimes in the wrong path. If only these parents would try to listen and see it from the kid's point of view.

I didn't turn out to be the worst I'd say

You still had your morals and self respect intact. That's great and if course a good way that shows how great of a leader you are.

Can we chat on discord? Want to ask you something important

Sure, add me up Riz#6860

Hi There. I have a boy that's 5 years old. And I must say I can feel and see how he feels when there are tension in the house.....

I will open to you , I know that everyone are seeing this, but I feel that your post was just for me.......

We are staying with the inlaws and my husband doesn't work. He struggles to get a job.
So the tension in the house are sometimes high.
Sometimes it feels like I'm not a good mother because I can't always give my son what he wants. I was very emotional yesterday and I called my son and he gave me a hug and I was just crying. It feels like everything is to much for me. I'm sorry that I just command so long message but yeah kids can feel tension and stress along.

but I feel that your post was just for me.......

Oh my!🥺

I totally understand what it feels like to be faced with these situations as yours now, my parents faced a lot of it when I was still with them and I know how it got to me. I saw my mom cry and she'll try to act as if everything is fine but deep down I knew she wasn't. It means a lot for your child to give you that hug at least for a split second you'll let out some tears n look at the child with hopes that you have what to live for and trust that things would get better.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not a good mother because I can't always give my son what he wants.

🥺🥺🥺
You don't have to dear, yes the boy may be sad sometimes when he can't get what he wants, kids will always be kids in that aspect but that shouldn't make you feel bad. At least make him in a loving way that you care about him and get him things once in a while. He'll be happy and appreciate you. I haven't birthed a kid yet but I've been around them a lot. I'm so attached to nieces and a lot more kids out there so I know a lot about children. Just take it easy on yourself and hope for better days.

I'm sorry that I just command so long message

I really love it and I appreciate you. Do take care of yourself, I've said a few words of prayer in my heart for you and I hope things turn out well for you. Sending hugs 💙 my dear friend.

Thanks girl for the reply I really appreciate it. Where you from? I am on the moment really down and a dumbs. My son are my whole life and I would do anything for him.

Have a blessed evening girl. And thanks alot for the come back.

My son are my whole life and I would do anything for him.

That's sweet 💙.

Where you from?

I'm from Nigeria. Sorry for the late response

Nah that's oky girl. Well nice to meet you 🙂🙂 how was your day?

Nice to meet you too☺️, my day is going pretty well, it's afternoon around here don't know what's time of the day it is in your country.

It's 14:49 here and very hot here and it's not even summer yet

Being parents is really quite difficult and putting aside our problems so that our children are not burdened with them or attacked because we are not well because of some personal situation is difficult but we have to make the effort because they are children and are oblivious to what we are going through.
When they grow up they will have their own problems. For now we have to let them be children.
So I agree with you my friend!

You're also very correct. We shouldn't bug out kids right now with loads of what we go through. Thanks for commenting friend. I really appreciate 🥰

You are welcome!!
Kisses Eldora

🥺🥺🥺
Kisses and hugs to you too. What's your real name or what can I call you?

I’m so glad you told her. This kind of thing really made it hard for me growing up. My mom was sweet and good and tried her best but she passed on a lot of emotional baggage to me this way. Things are good now but it took many years to shake it off and it almost cost our relationship. We are good now, but only after I moved far away.

We are good now, but only after I moved far away.

This has been a solution to most people. I'm glad you're good now, these things actually do cut in deep in the life of anyone and if it's too serious,can even make a child depressed that's why I really had to talk to my sister. My nieces are too small to suffer for what they don't know of.

Thanks for going through my publications. I'm honored 😌

I remember my niece about this article, my step sister have a bad temper and everytime that she and her partner was not in good terms, it's all transferred to her youngest son and oldest daughter. Sometimes my dad was telling her to stop doing it but nothing changed

That's really sad! She shouldn't do it because it'll make those kids distance themselves from her. They can be there to calm her down if she's in a bad mood, all she need to do is give them a chance and not yell or transfer aggression on them. You really need to talk to her so that those kids can still remain close to her.

I agree, and I can't blame her daughter for distancing herself even more to her own mother

Oh jeez! It has already gotten to that point 🥺. This is just one of the reasons kids grow up and hate their parents, all they ever wish for is to run away from home or get to to live on their own far away from the parent because of the bad treatment they get. Really sad