"Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded spouse, to love and to hold in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do you part"
"Yes I do" says the man, "yes I do" says the woman and soon they are pronounced as man and wife.
I am a firm believer in love and a lover of love. Love is beautiful and powerful but the key to note is that relationships don't thrive on love alone. There are other necessities and tangibles that must come imto play for a relationship to stand the test of time.
A wise man once said..
"Marriage is the union of two complete individuals....Myles Munroe.
We go to school and after a series of teachings, we prepare for an exam, why then do we think that we can get married without preparing adequately for it. Life is in phases and stages and the phase to prepare for marriage is single hood.
Being single is not a curse rather it is time to get your head and heart focused on the right thing. The single stage is not a broken stage or a wallowing stage but a stage to build character and stamina which will be needed in marriage. It is a time to set things in their priorities, being far-sighted and able to shoulder responsibilities.
As a single guy eligible for marriage, what are your plans and aspirations? What steps have you taken to start at least one of them? Remember that the bulk of the responsibilities in marriage will rest on your shoulders. As a man, these four things are on you..
*Provision of shelter.
*Provision of food.
*Provision of home amenities and comfort.
*Payment of child's school bills ( if any).
The above listed should not be given to a woman as she is a help-meet and not the head of the home. As a lady waiting for marriage, what are your plans and aspirations? What preparations have you made for yourself before and after you get married? These questions need to be answered because life will go on after the happiness and dancing of the wedding day.
Sadly, these things are not intentionally thoughtf about, resulting in the aftermath...divorce. Statistics show a high level of divorce cases in this era and to me this implies that there is something we are missing in the formula of marriage.
No one who is divorced or is going through a divorce, prayed for such. They all dreamed of a happy ever after but sadly, life is no fairytale. Certain factors like physical abuse and violence, infidelity, control freak syndrome, disrespect, manipulation etc, are factors that can lead a couple to say "I don't", no matter how much feeling of love they have for themselves.
Divorce is very devastating especially when kids are in the picture. It portrays a wrong picture and mindset to these kids, marring their future. That's why divorce should be the last resort when all else fails to keep the marriage afloat except when life is threatened.
Before saying "I do" in front of so many witnesses, both partners should understand that there's no I in team and a team is what they will become once they're pronounced man and wife. Just as in a team, specific roles are carried out by the players, so also in marriage, specific roles are played by each party. Only when each party is carrying out their own roles will marriage be said to be effective. It's not a one day or a one time affairs thing, it is a process that lasts a lifetime.
For those who might have been negatively affected by some broken relationships or marriage around them, I empathize but I have this encouragement for you as well. Just because vehicles get involved in accidents, it does not stop you from having your car or boarding a vehicle to your destination. So also a failed marriage should not dampen the idea of marriage in you, rather learning from their mistakes and choosing to do better should be the motto.
As a believer in love and marriage, I hope to tie the knot one day with the right person but for now I'm enjoying my single phase, enjoying being myself and lavishing on my dreams, goals and aspirations.
Thank you all for reading. This is my response to day 21 #aprilinleo initiative.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
Sometimes I think this Tango can be danced by just one person, and it's okay in the end.
😁 although I have not come across such, I'll take your word for it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Your words really show that marriage isn't just only about love; effort, communication, and understanding are important as well. Your view on how life is divided into phases, and how important it is to be prepared for marriage as a single person makes a lot of sense. I wish you blessings as you keep looking for that special person that will make your life complete.
Thanks for your insightful words dear🤗
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Wait oo. I thought you are already married and even have a child? Hehehe 😀
Yes, it takes two to tango and you just explained it succinctly in your post.
Just like being taught lots of things in school and an exam is organised for you to test your performance, so is it with relationships before marriage — tying the knot.
Saying "I do" shouldn't be in a hurry unless you have gone through the preparation to find yourself deem for marriage. A lot of factors are considered so that one wouldn't end up a divorcee. Who really wanted that in the first place? Marriage should be for better forever and together making things work out.
That's the purpose and idea that marriage holds.
Lol, I'm a single mom dear. Just like you mentioned in your post, once I saw that the relationship is not making headway, I quit
Oh. I understand. I was just confused and decided to ask for clarification. You are so right. Nothing is more important than our peace of mind oo
😂😂 yes o
Now I can see the similarities in our post. One of the reason I love reading from your blog is because I will surely learn from it.
As a single, that stage isn’t the stage to taste around what life has to offer but for you to taste what you can offer to someone coming into your life.
I’m a big fan of love and anything that would make me understand it more, you’ll find me there. This is a lovely write up.
Now I understood why you become a professor in my comment section
Awww, thanks for your amazing insight and compliments and thanks for learning something from my blog.
You are awesome
"Two cannot work together unless they agree". I hear people say that marriage is the only institution you go through without graduating because it lasts a lifetime and for it to be successful each party involved should be willing, ready and committed to making it last.
Just like you said it's team work, everyone manning their own duty and roles.
Just as the creator made a man the head, he's the provider while the woman supports. Sometimes things may go south and the man cannot match up with the roles, the woman can take it up pending when the man stands on his feet again.
Being divorced isn't a curse nor is it the end of one's life - although I do not advocate for it but when the marriage poses a threat to your life, please walk away.
My dear sis, I'm always amazed at those ladies that still stay with a man that punches the back to back in the name of love.
I heard of a woman whose husband would beat her till she's almost passing out before he can have sex with her and they're just three years together then o. When I heard it, something spark in my brain because what kind of a man is this and also what kind of a woman tolerates abuse consistently?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts sis.
It is great seeing you lavish!
Hahaha, thanks boss boss