By Any Other Name

In the early years of junior high school, I had a nickname provided by my close friends that was fashioned in the stereotypical Australian way, of being ironic. It is the type of thing where someone with red hair, is called Blue. Or the tallest guy, is called Shorty. For a couple years, I was called Tonto, because I am of Indian background. That is of course, a reference to an Indian from a completely different culture and part of the world, which is why it was chosen for me. This was only used by a close circle of friends.

Up until this point, I had only been called things that I won't mention here again, but suffice to say, they weren't pleasant. However, it was a good learning experience over those many years into human nature and my own emotional development. Not just because of the names, but the behaviour of people in general. However, I think that one of the effects on me was that I don't use people's nicknames often, even if it is their preferred name. It just doesn't sound right coming out of my mouth (in my head), and is akin to hearing my dad swear - which he only ever did when he was forced to reference what someone else said.

It sounded incredibly weird.

I was thinking about this briefly while collecting Smallsteps' Duplo to give to a friend with a small child, and what kinds of names my daughter is going to be called in her life, and what kind of affects it is going to have on her. She is very likely to be exposed to some pretty heavy-handed racism, but probably not like I was, based on her looks. However, a child's experience has also changed a lot since I was a kid, so she already has friends from all kinds of backgrounds, who speak multiple languages in their homes. This was not the kind of place I came from. Yet, I am sure she is also going to hear a lot of negative comments about skin colour, with people making the assumption based on her own looks, that she is white by background. It is hard for people to overcome their bias.

For example, a funny story that I think all of my brothers have experienced also, is that one time I was having lunch with my mother at a café in a shopping centre close to my work, whilst on break. We were finishing our coffees and a woman came up to us, ignoring me and spat to my mother, "You should be ashamed of yourself! Here with such a young man - it is disgusting!" My mother calmly responded, It is my son. The woman went silent, looked at us both and then shouted,

"That is worse!"

Conscious bias.

I am not a fan of political correctness and believe that no conversation should be restricted. Conversation brings understanding and misunderstanding out into the open for discussion and clarification. Restriction forces those conversations into siloed shadows, providing poor beliefs confirmation bias to reinforce and empower them - validate them. It doesn't matter what the topic, transparency is better than ignorance.

Similarly, I am not a fan of the concept of cultural appropriation, when it is more likely cultural appreciation. The stupidity of claiming hair and clothing styles as unique to a particular culture, makes no sense. For instance, the idea that hair braiding can only be worn by black people, is ridiculous. Did it start in Africa? Maybe. But, the oldest known form of it in Europe is almost thirty thousand years old. Clothing styles? Clothes are clothes, and I find it nonsensical to limit what people can wear, based on their cultural background.

I find it strange that people feel very strongly about these things, whilst far worse events are happening in the world that are far more impactful. It is strange that there are masses of people who spend an inordinate amount of time "cancelling" people they disagree with, or who they believe did something socially wrong, publicly. What it does, is drives conversations that should happen if social improvement is to happen, into the darkness, with the worst thoughts becoming engrained in minds and belief systems of individuals and groups. Perhaps rather than worrying about hairstyles, the same people could turn their attention to the exploitation and abuse of children around the world instead.

Wouldn't that be more valuable for society?

But no, we spend our time worrying about what people say, and what terms they use, rather than *the behaviours they perform. For instance, some people might think the nickname my friends gave me is inappropriate, or even cruel. But no, that is not the case, because I know the people involved. I also know how they act, and what they would do and have done in order to defend me, whether I needed them to or not. Friends have your back when it matters, and they tease the fuck out of you when it doesn't.

Sometimes, there might be a bit of overlap.

I feel that finally there is an increasing amount of pushback on the nonsense that is considered identity politics, but there is a long way to go. It is good that these discussions and situations are coming to light, but how they are being handled post-conversation, has so far been underwhelming in terms of improving our human experience. If anything, I feel that the limitations imposed by social masses of uninvested, but loudly spoken groups, has driven an increasing amount of wedges in society. This has been leveraged by the profiteering media and corporations, which has driven people further apart, made them more disconnected, and polarized groups to instead of investigating concepts together, fight blindly for one side, against the other.

There is no endgoal in mind.

No meaning, no purpose - just the instant gratification of being part of something in the hope to win. But, what is the prize, where is the payoff? I guess it is like those children I grew up with who would call me names and worse. People who would be considered bullies now. Ignorant and insecure people, who in order to feel powerful, in control, to be liked by their peers, to feel like they are somebody, they have to attempt to diminish others. It is a reflection of themselves, and their own weakness and incapability.

A word is not a knife, and a feeling is not a heart.

A thought, is not an action.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]