There were fruit trees on the property I grew up on and they attracted a lot of birds. One of the coolest birds I liked to see, but also quite rarely seen, was the rosella which is a very colourful parrot. Now, this has nothing to do with anything, other than I always thought the bird on the Arnott's logo was a rosella, since it is an Australian brand (or was), but when I was looking at the logo closely, I realised it wasn't and a quick search told me it is a macaw parrot, was gift to the founder from Mexico.
A fucking macaw. I feel cheated.
My whole childhood was a lie.
But that is another collection of stories altogether.
This story is about a simple chocolate biscuit, which has legendary status in Australia and I have only had a couple times in the last few decades when @galenkp has sent some over. He even found some gluten-free ones for Smallsteps and my wife to try. But, super weirdly, as my wife was shopping in a store that sells mostly makeup and beauty products, as well as a few other random items, I found there sitting on the shelf, a few packs of TimTams.
Diet be damned.
I only bought one pack, because I really have been trying to improve my eating habits and cutting back on unnecessary sugars, even though I fail often. But, since it was an "occasion" just to find them and my wife was egging me on to get them, I did. And yeah, the packet didn't last long. But to be fair, I did share them with my wife (who seems to be able to eat gluten when it tastes good enough) and I would have given some to Smallsteps, but she can't have gluten at all yet.
It is silly how such a small thing like a chocolate biscuit can carry so much life history in it, as well as bring up so many different kinds of memories. Of course, it isn't the biscuit itself, but rather what it represents, which is a taste of home which I so rarely get. And of course, it isn't just the taste of foods that are missed, but also the typical interactions in Australia, or spending time with family and friends, or the different sense of humour, or the varied expressions of speech and intonation that is only heard locally.
In many ways, I am no longer Australian.
I have sometimes wondered how long a person can be detached from their home country before the local culture has moved on so far, they they no longer are part of it. For instance, when my dad was speaking Bengali to an eighteen year old a few years before he died after hardly speaking it for fifty years, she said that his fluency was perfect, but it is like listening to an old film, because the way he spoke was no longer the way people speak the language.
Was he really still a native speaker?
The world is a different place than what it was for my father of course, since there is the ability to not only watch stuff from anywhere on earth, but also regularly talk to people back home. Still though, I suspect there is a fair amount of disconnection that happens to both the culture, and the many relationships, as distance always changes things. Sometimes for the better, but often it just makes for weaker ties, as out of sight, out of mind dynamics come into play. It isn't intentional, it just happens, as time zones and schedules, as well as having to schedule everything to begin with.
There is no random interaction, it is all planned.
And perhaps this is why the random find of some too-sweet biscuits was so good, because it was an unexpected "drop-in" on my life that came as a pleasant surprise. No planning, just an unscheduled meetup with some memories of the past. I know that they won't be there for long, since this shop changes its random stuff all the time, but I also don't have the urge to go crazy and buy more just in case, because the moment of random has passed. If the next time I am there they have them, I will grab a pack, but I won't be too disappointed if they aren't.
I think these days, a lot of people are living as a "foreigner" in a new country, and I suspect that there are always things that are missed from home. And I also assume that when something from home does popup out of the blue like this, it brings nostalgic thoughts to mind, and perhaps some bitter-sweet memories of times that will never be had again.
A lot of people are also surrounded by friends, family, and the culture they have grown with. Yet, I reckon most of us take it all for granted, because it seems like it is always going to be there, always close by, always available for a chat over a beverage.
It never is.
Sometimes, there is no substitute for the things we lose.
Taraz
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I was legitimately shocked with how easy it was to find Tim Tams in the US. A lot of the big grocery chains have them.... BBQ Shapes on the other hand...
Barbecue shapes... arsehole. That hadn't even come to mind. I also like pizza shapes - never a big fan of savoury though.
Hahaha, it was one of the first things I had when I got back. Those, a chicken parma and a coffee scroll. Also never a fan of savoury, but I had forgotten how good the Chicken Crispy shapes are.
It's been over 25 years since my family moved from Minnesota. I am not a Minnesotan anymore. I have changed. Minnesota has changed. I still feel an affinity for the state broadly and specific places in particular, but it's not home anymore and will never be again. It's a strange thing to realize.
It probably doesn't feel much like home to many people now - even the ones living there.
I believe you never do.
My sister left home for the US when she was 18, today is her 54th birthday and although she is american in many ways, she still keeps cultural traits of her years here. Maybe because she comes almost every summer and she has never wanted to let some of the local traditions and habbits go away in all these years. But even though she has many english words in her local catalan or spanish talking, part of her will always be where she was born and raised.
I think there is always a part, but would she feel as at home if she moved back for a few years? Or would she then be partially left in the US?
The older I get, the more I find myself reflecting on my youth. Is it the same for you?
My brother and I constantly talk about the "old days". Not always peaches and creme either. It was very hard for him especially growing up. We do enjoy the fact we got through it and made it where we are in life though. Which is that we are happy.
Yea, I think so. It could be in an attempt to explain my failures, or perhaps a way to come to terms with them.
I think this is the takeaway from childhood. Regardless, it ends and we have a chance to live better.
or maybe its just reflecting on simpler times. When things seemed less complicated with regards to the larger world.
Yes, but I see so many hang onto their childhood times like a wooby. They won't let them go. Seem to not enjoy nor want to try and live better as adults.
Never heard of Tim Tams, but a quick search revealed that the are actually available in at least one of our local stores and on Amazon :)
We also have a lot of local stores ran by Russians or Ukrainians that carry pretty much everything I can think of from my childhood and me and my wife visit those regularly and buy all kinds of candy, breads, salamis, etc...
I suspect that Russians and Ukrainians are pretty well represented here too, though don't know for sure. Obviously, heaps of Ukrainians have come since the war started and with the proximity to Russia, there is still a community here.
Yes, you guys are really close to Russia and Ukraine... We have like 20 Russian/Ukrainian supermarkets in Seattle area, not sure if you have as many despite the proximity...
Crazy talk.
Next you'll be able to buy fucken mint slice's and Fruchocs!
I could go a mint slice.
Not good for the diet, but so fucken good!
Good with a glass of red wine. Just to add to the not good for the diet problem
Lol. Well, a few things like this in moderation is ok. Like...a whole fucken packet.
Kind of like how we still write long form content even though it is basically dying. People don't consume like that anymore...
Yeah, but I also think that being in a niche is better than trying to swim in a sea of shite.
There is a quiet, understated honesty in this reflection on loss one that does not rely on drama, but on truth. Not everything that is lost can be replaced, and not everything we miss makes its absence obvious. At times, it is something as simple as a familiar biscuit on a shelf that brings back a sense of identity, origin, and a reminder of how delicate and transient closeness can be.
I think this is what many don't acknowledge. Everything is transient, nothing permanent. Yet we act too often like nothing will or should change.
Nostalgia, I think a lot of migrants live in that in-between space until it erodes of course with the incoming generations
generation by generation it changes of course.
It is nice how food can link us to our history and the culture we were raised in. I sometimes catch myself looking for familiar flavors that bring back memories.
When you travel, do you notice the differences or the similarities first?
I have difficulities when I travel abroad, except Greece as we have a very similar cuisine :)
It’s wild how much power a simple biscuit has to bring back the intonation and humor of home.It’s funny how a specific biscuit can make you feel more at home than anything else.
It is a bit strange after so many years, as although this is home for me now, it will also never actually be fully so.
I smiled reading this because we’ve all had that moment where “diet be damned” meets nostalgia and wins Sharing it with your wife made it even sweeter, and the way you described missing the humor, expressions, and everyday interactions really captures what being far from home feels like.
diet be damned seems to be my default though! :D
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Really nice story. It’s interesting how a simple biscuit can bring back so many memories of home, people, and the past. Those small, unexpected moments can feel very special. Thanks for sharing this.
you have just basically repeated the message above. What is the deal?
There is no deal. I just want to thank you for sharing your story. I was happy to read it.
Yay for Tim Tams! And pleasant unexpected discoveries in general XD
I'm probably the same with Singlish x_x
i want to be a foreigner in philippines. i will also get same land there and have fruit trees.. maybe apple, banana, mango, dragon fruit, rombutan, coconut, and whatever else i like.
It's true people Will feel strange in a new place, especially in a country. My experience has been decades, originally from Javanese ethnicity, moving to Sundanese ethnicity. If calculated avdistance of about 500 kilometers, it did feel strange at first,because of the differentces in culture, language and adapted to the new conditions. But there are still things that are still missed and nostalgic. Especially favorite goods that are not available in the new place. Sorry if it doesn't connect with the little. Thank you. Have a great day.
Thanks.