One of the things that can easily slip into your life when you are part of an expat community overseas is that there is one particular situation that sort of brings all the foreigners together in an easy way. This of course, is going out drinking and while it isn't unique to our group and exists around the word in all groups, I feel as though it is easier for us to fall into this trap since we don't really have a ton of activities to participate in since we are not really part of the local culture and have difficulty branching out for a lot of things. This has a lot to do with the fact that we don't learn the language - which is damn near impossible - and we, just like most people, don't want to overly complicate our lives.
I live in an area that is lovingly referred to as "cracker town" and it is basically Chinatown in reverse. Virtually everyone that lives in this are is a foreigner and very few members of the expat community live out side of it. This is in stark contrast to the areas that I live in Thailand where the expats were dispersed all over the place and there was no central designated foreigner area. To be fair to the area, they didn't try to make this happen. It just kind of did happen many years before I ever moved here. If you do not live in cracker town you are simply setting yourself up to have a lot less things to do or need to taxi taxis to almost anything that is going on in English.
Anyway, a lot of my life is similar to the lives of almost every other expat here in that we meet up with our friends for beers almost daily and these "few drinks" can easily turn into what I call a "slobberknocker." That is, you end up getting near blackout drunk and realize even before you go to bed that you have doomed tomorrow to be a terrible morning at the minimum. You also start to gain weight when you are in your 40's as I am, so I decided that just for the hell of it, I was going to have a go at cutting back on the drink other than for special occasions.
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This information probably wont be impressive to anyone that isn't a borderline alcoholic like I am but last week I took 5 days in a row off of drinking. To understand why this IS impressive to me please understand that in the past 18 years I don't think I have EVER taken that many days off in a row unless I was seriously ill. Since I don't get sick very often, I don't think that I even did that. So bottom line is that 5 days in a row without drinking is a big deal to me.
It started on Sunday when I woke up feeling hazy from the night before and decided that I was going to "try" to make it all the way to Thursday bowling before having any alcohol. Sunday night I went to bed at a reasonable hour, totally sober, and woke up on Monday to feel just as crap as I would have if I had gotten drunk the night before. This surprised me, but then I also realized that from 20 years of relatively heavy drinking, one day off isn't going to be a super-cure. I was a bit surprised that when I repeated the same process on Monday into Tuesday, that the morning feeling was the same. I was groggy with a bit of nausea for the first hour or so that I was awake, but then noticed that I started feeling better after that initial time.
By the time Wednesday came around I was feeling pretty great after just a few minutes of being awake and my days were a lot more productive because of it. I have heard old wives' tales about how it takes "3 days for it to get out of your system" and I don't know if that is true or if it just appears to be true because that is the idea that I put into my brain at the start. The mind is a powerful force after all.
There were other motivations for me to stop for a bit other than just wanting to avoid hangovers though. I also feel as though I have reached that point in my age where if I don't regulate my beer intake a bit I am going to end up like most of the guys in their 50's and 60's that I see on a regular basis and that is kind of gross looking with a gut. I have been rather fit most of my life and I really would prefer to not end up like that. On a regular day that I meet people at the pub it is extremely common for me to have 10 beers. These are not light beers so let's do some quick math here and go ahead and say that this is around 1500 calories. This is more than half the amount of calories that someone my age should have in their entire day including food so it is a roadmap to fatness if I don't change this.
One big downside of all of this is that nearly all of my friends are daily pub visitors and they rarely go and do anything in their lives outside of getting together for drinks. The expat community, at least the parts of it that I have been exposed to over the past near 20 years, doesn't really get together for anything else so on those 4 days away from booze, all but one of them I also found myself simply being away from basically everyone that I know. I briefly made a stop to have some food with friends and had a soda water but then I quickly realized that I don't really have anything else to say to these folks and started to worry that maybe the only reason why I ever got along with these people is because of the fact that we were always drunk around one another.
I'll see if I can make this a weekly thing because I sit here now on week 2 of this booze strike and instead of starting on Sunday, I am starting on Saturday with the intention being that I am going to make it all the way to Thursday again without drinking at all. With me, there is no such thing as going out for a "few drinks." I am either going to drink all of them or none of them and the only reason why I leave on most days is because I am too hungry to hang out any longer.
I hope that this will result in me losing weight and just generally feeling better. If I can manage to make it though not drinking on all the days except one I suppose the only logical step would be to first step it down a notch on the Thursday gettogethers and then maybe even have a go at not drinking during the bowling events either.
I've dedicated a lot of my life to drinking and I am good at it. Unfortunately the equipment (my body) is no longer cooperating and if I don't change this, I am going to end up fat and I really don't want that.
As it stands now I guess I do feel a lot better physically from not going out drinking but I also am spending a lot of my time alone watching movies and playing video games and well, I guess that isn't such a terrible thing. Nadi enjoys the company.
cutting back on drinking is something that i think a lot of expats struggle with. Although I know it isn't true we have a saying that there is nothing to do other than get drunk here. There are things to do, the people who default to the pubs during any downtime just don't do them.
I have literally said exactly those words before in relation to a lot of places that I have lived. There is stuff to do, I just never investigated them because there wasn't a bar there.
ha! That's good Hash behavior and thoughts right there.
Good luck mate . I also trying to start regular exercise to drop my weigh . I have try to reduce my food intake but still fail because my wife is good cooker . :p. Well , regular exercise is only thing that i can do for now.
Nothing good ever comes from cutting back drinking... 😀
But yeah, I can see your point in that no one wants to look like one of those giant gut men!
Power to you for quashing your drinking habit. Your body will thank you! Find a new (or old) hobby you enjoy to fill the time you used to spend at the bar..
!LADY
yerp. I'm gonna have to start to search around for new activities to fill that void because I am already getting bored of just hanging out in my apartment all the time :)
Well, there's always HIVE! 😄😅🤣
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Thanks for the "kind of" 😉
Seriously, you just described my life 20 years ago. But in recent years, I avoid drinking on consecutive days. Except for the days that I don't!
That happened the other week. So, in the miasma of regret, I resolved to quit drinking. But as you point out, when all your mates are pub mates, such a resolution leads to zero social life. Then I told myself to grow up, and learn when to go home.
So far, a little moderation is giving me better balance. But I know that I have to keep working on my self-control. And also, not beat myself up when I inevitably slip up.
I wish you well, in your efforts to regulate your drinking.
I think there are a lot of strategies to this but "cutting back" has never worked for me. There was a time that I would limit myself to only 4 or something like that but then someone fun comes along and I'll be like "ok, just a couple more." Next thing I know it is midnight and I am smashed. I don't have self control like that in relation to drinking and just like when I stopped smoking cigarettes, there was no such thing as cutting back. I had to cut it out.
Perhaps in the future I can return to being sensible at the pub but for now at least, I think avoidance is my only option that has a guaranteed success.
My wife and I typically only drink on weekends. If you were to add up the number of drinks we have in that time, I think we would be technically considered heavy drinkers, but I don't really feel that is the case. That being said, we have discussed cutting back a little bit. Which seems funny because we really don't drink that much. Maybe 4 mixed drinks per night. Less for me if I am drinking whiskey on the rocks. It all adds up eventually though and we have been on a path to becoming healthier for quite a while now. That's the only thing we haven't cut out of our diets as much.
Sheesh. 4 drinks is a warmup for me. On nights that I have less than 6 I don't even consider that to be a real drinking night. haha
Haha, I think the exception for us would be in the summer when we are camping. Those nights around the campfire I am certain we have more than 4.
Yah I don’t drink any more. I don’t drink any less either ;)
It is amazing how much money you can save and how much weight you can lose to say the very least. A business partner did that this year and he lost like 30 pounds. We occasionally have a beer on a Friday or for a golf game but the everyday thing is gone for him now and he loves it.
Just drink soda water and lime in social sessions. Sparkly and refreshing and it doesn’t interfere with the drinkin session for others.
good points. @daltono suggested the same beverage. I think i'll give that a go.
⋆ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ғᴏʀ sᴏᴜᴛʜᴇᴀsᴛ ᴀsɪᴀɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴏɴ ʜɪᴠᴇ
⋆ sᴜʙsᴄʀɪʙᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀsᴇᴀɴ ʜɪᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴛʏ
⋆ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀsᴇᴀɴ ʜɪᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴜɴɪᴛʏ ᴠᴏᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴀɪʟ
⋆ ᴅᴇʟᴇɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ʟɪɴᴋs 25 ʜᴘ⇾50 ʜᴘ⇾100 ʜᴘ⇾500 ʜᴘ⇾1,000 ʜᴘ
The secret for me is non-alcoholic seltzer water. It has the same feel as drinking a craft beer, minus the calories and alcohol. I think it is the bubbly nature that makes it impossible to drink quickly, plus the fruity flavors remind me a lot of craft beer. It's obviously not a 1:1 swap, but if you are looking for something to sip on while with friends, that's my recommendation.
Good luck! I had my battles with alcohol ruling my social life, but I'm happy to say that it's all over now. You can surely manage to cut back and still enjoy your life. You got this!
It's not a dire situation for me or anything. I just feel like a change to a more sensible adult life might not be a terrible thing. I also feel like I am just doing the same shit day in and day out and also eating terribly because of the fact that booze satiates my hunger and sometimes I don't even eat. That might work for Keith Richards but it doesn't really work for me.
If you have that feeling, listen to it. That's how I choose when to drink. I feel you on the repetitive nature of life. It will make you feel numb. At least you have the purpose of taking care of your dog, I don't even have that 🤣
I try to take it all in stride and just seek out new things to do. I would love to go on hikes or things like that but by my own decision I live in one of the most hot and humid places on earth so doing that requires as lot of preparation! I moved here initially at least in part because they said it was a "surfing mecca." The waves here are bullshit so I'm calling false advertising on that. Maybe I should invest in a boogie board because the waves are probably ok for that action.
Or just do like me and get out in the ocean and let the waves thrash you endlessly. I'd be doing that every single day if I lived close to a beach like that.
Cracker Town lol. I am sure you are good at drinking as they say practice makes perfect. The problem is when you have one you will have another as we know how this works. Tis is not going to be easy as you are used to doing this and is part of your social behavior. Smart having certain days a week though where you have banned yourself as it does give you some hope.
For sure. I haven't nailed down a real plan just yet but as the leader of the bowling group it is kind of expected of me to drink with everyone. I suppose that is my own choice though. As luck would have it this week I have an early flight on the day after bowling day so I will have extra incentive to abstain or at the least, seriously limit my intake. I don't think there is really anything worse than flying with a hangover.
oh by the way what is this I hear about your country cutting off water supplies based on race? You should do a "boots on the ground" post about that if you haven't already done so.
I haven't heard that story and will look around as the main thing here is ecoli and cholera in the dams. We know 1 person in intensive care being treated for cholera so you must make sure you boil the tap water.
Looks like the government is trying to bring in new laws mainly for farmers and mines by forcing black ownership. White farms using 250,000 cubic meters of water would need black ownership of 25%, 500 000 is 50% and so forth. This is a quota system that will fail and is racist.
Yeah, seems to a trend for expats. On my first trip to Patong, Thailand, I watched as many expats assembled at the bars. Most seemed to be grumpy old guys, not in the peak of physical fitness, bitching about their life.
I don't drink much. But I decided it was best to avoid developing the habit, and ending up like them!.
Even though I don't speak much Thai, I am learning. I often just walk around trying to improve on that, and meet new people.
Everyone chooses the path on their journey. Mine is just a little more remote! 😆
Keep up the good stuff!
Regards
Richard Taylor
She does enjoy the daddy time.. I can see it in her face! I hear ya. We cut back on our drinking nights out and saved about $700 USD per month doing so. I guess Grey Goose martinis were adding up! lol. Now we just go out on Friday, and Saturday. Now summer is here and we live at the shore.... not looking good for the cutting back aspect.
living somewhere seasonal will do that! Here it is summer all year round so that doesn't really apply.