We all have our reasons why we give out to people, and I do that a lot not minding who the person is to me most times, but yet I try that when I give I do it at my convenience and not when it would choke me. Giving beyond my convenience depends on the relationship I have with the person and how much trust I have developed for the person.
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I got inspired to write on this topic because I recently had a conversation on how I prefer to give to people compared to how a friend wanted to give me something. I know it is complicated right? let me make you understand the scenario better.
The thing is most people they like to give in public to make people see them giving and have the thoughts of the person being good while the truth is they do not really care about the person they are giving to but what other people think about them, and I feel that is shit.
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With my discussions with my friends on a group chat, I made mention: I prefer giving out something without anyone knowing I did it, unless I have a reason to? My friends know me well, if they ask me for support and I have it, I would give them and that transaction remains between us. It is absurd giving out to someone and start making it an alarm you did this for a person.
Helping someone is a personal decision and you do not need to tell everyone you did this for someone to make them see you for a particular thing. It is quite annoying even for me that is why I don't do it for others. We should all know that; We should help someone because we want to help the person not because we want other people to know we helped a person. If I help someone, it is the person's decision to tell other people what I did and I don't care if they do that or not so far I wanted to help you.
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Something happened recently which I didn't like, I was trying to raise money to buy something and I asked for $4 donation from people close by. It is something I asked in their private chats to donate. Imagine a friend going to a group chat to tell me to send him my account number so he can transfer money to me. First, I was surprised because the discussion was not on the chat, and second why do this? Definitely wanted people to know he is sending me money. I had no choice than to reply him; Don't worry bro, If you really wanted to help me out, then you have message me in my direct message.
I got funny responses from friends in the group saying someone wants to send me money and I am trying to teach courtesy. @obaro mentioned in the group, poor man no dey mind 😅 meaning poor man do not mind anyhow he is given something whether with good or bad manners.
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The point in this post is, when you want to help someone don't do it because you want others to know you helped the person, don't do it because you want to make yourself feel that you are better than the person, don't do it if you would keep dragging the fact that you helped the person. Just do it for wanting to genuinely be of help to the person and forget it ever happened.
And when you want to help someone most especially in matter relating money, please don't do pass your limit or convenience. Best you do something that would not keep you in regret.
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Starstrings01 AKA Giftedhands is a Hive lover, a Nigeria musician (Guitarist) and also a student who studies Mechatronics Engineering in the Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta.
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Smiles...
I've always known you to be a kind heart doing his things codedly.
However, this content speaks of how good your motive towards giving is.
May you never fall!
Blessings🚀
And also, thanks for the mention
Smiles.. thanks so much brotherly. I appreciate.
You are welcome brother!
I think that everyone or most people have a confidant that they talk to about anything and sometimes a discussion can lead to them taking about the one time they helped someone, but someone else hearing it may see it as foolish gossip. It’s silly sha that some people like to brag about help they give sha, but wetin concern me? If u help me ad I tell you thank you, if you like tell the full world na u know
Yeah I understand this, everybody has someone they tell but yet, I am talking about the people who help people only because they want other people to know you did it.
Oh yeah I noticed, it can be annoying when that happens and it’s worth making out a post for
Yeah it is brother!
Even the Bible admonishes us that while giving the left hand, the right hand shouldn't know about that , hence our heavenly father who sees all secret will reward us.
Also it's not wise to give above your limit thereby getting hurt within you while trying to get noticed by other people; and bragging about giving is a no no to me.
Thanks for reminding us!
For that bragging... I have seem many men do it over their wives or girlfriends. Because they help them or buy stuff for them, they would now be telling their friends, if not for me this girl would not be like this.
Like shit, what's my business. Why are you telling me? Why bragging about it...
You are right, you know atimes I am disappointed to some husband on the way they brag about how they changed their wives especially if she comes from a poor background. And to some what they do or gift their wives. I mean if you don't do it who will do it? Even to your own responsibility, you still brag?
A friend of mine got embarrassed by her own husband in the presence of friends due to this bragging stuff but that's a story for another day shaa😀
You see what I am talking about. Generally, I can't make friends with people that do this. I can't stay close to them before they do a little assistance for me and turn it to something bigger than it actually is.
In reality, this is my kind of persona, I give without letting anyone know that i'm actually giving, I think this is how it should be. Giving should be purposefully selfless.
Yeah exactly.. it should be selfless.. You have helped me more than what people actually know of. I always thank you for that.
For me, I'll say you would have accepted the money, because you can't repay him, only God knows his true motive and he knows how to pay him accordingly.
I remember I did something like that once but my motive was not to show off but it was an oversight.
On a lighter note, you don't know, maybe someone else seeing that message on the group chat might message you directly to assist you.
But I understand the overall message. Thank you for sharing 🥰🥰.
Hmm, why carry a private conversation to a group chat? Still doesn't make sense!
Fine, it seems like you don't understand what I said.
Have a great day.
Smiles... I do understand what you said.
I hope so, thank you for the lecture on giving, well received.
Giving is a thing from the heart and meant to be at once convenience. Some people give in other for the public to praise them . Which is not meant to be.
Just like the scenario you gave when you text someone privately and he/she went public in other to help. That ain't giving that's jus flaunting and chasing clout.
If really he/she want to help will help privately as requested and move
I agree with what you said. But in reality, in the real world, many people do this, sharing because of the vision/mission they want to achieve, for example, there will be a definite election in which a candidate will share anything so that he looks good, in my opinion, this is a ridiculous thing that always happens. done by higher-ups to get people's attention. Thanks for sharing
I agree!
Giving is always something you have to decide by yourself to do.
Asides our beliefs to how beneficial giving wholeheartedly might be, it's always fulfilling to give from an intentional perspective.
People like doing this a lot to make them look good in the sight of other people or to make themselves feel good
That is how it is supposed to be
And God who sees your doings in secret will reward you openly
Keep up the vibe bro
You know come to think about it you are right what the motive to your giving we should always ask that question maybe then we all would always give freely and from our heart.
This is thoughtful.
We share same mindset. I hate it when I am in church and they start doing their donations. You will see someone taking the microphone to announce how much he is given. I wonder if that is biblical.
A lot of persons just like to show off and that attitude pisses me off.
I hate people that sing their praises, that blow their trumpets so loud and tell the whole world of a single deed they did for you. I'm supposed to tell the world how God helped me through you and not the other way round, I prefer to stay anonymous and give silently. Once you're good to me, that I didnt give you is that I don't have.
I feel people should normalize doing so too and not posting transaction receipts on whatsapp status to publicize it
Giving for people to notice you is what I term "oju aye". I really do not know how to interpret that word. It is over doing and over sabi. And people who act in that manner are always hypocrite. It's better to avoid them just as you did in your illustration in the post.
True giving comes unconditionally from the heart without necessarily expecting a reward from it. True giving when it's truly true, it pinches.
I'm totally with you on this, most of the people help others with the purpose of everybody else in their surroundings to notice they are helping out and, from my perspective, it should not be that way at all.
My parents always told me to do good and help the people around me without the rest knowing what I did for there's the true virtue of helping.
Blessings, my friend!
You have a very good parents and they told you the truth. Helping others because you want every body else to know means you don't care about the situation of the person you want to help but the show off involved.
Thanks for your input. It is well appreciated.
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Thank you very much!
As much as we have needs, we some go to every Tom, Dick and Harry telling them out problem. Some people, or should I say friends are closer than family of siblings.
The reason why it is so is because some people do things that closer people wouldn't dare do and it won't go viral In social media. Hence, the motive for helping some may create of mar a relationship or thought.
I find it a lot easy to help someone in the secret.
Yeah exactly.. just help the person with a pure intention of doing so.
Personally, besides giving someone a helping hand to rescue them from a situation they're in, I find giving to be therapeutic as it allows me to learn to be selfless and become a better human.
hmm true... that what it does really. Makes us being a better human.
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extraordinary!
people should read this post, this is very important to apply in living life. I will spread this post to many people👌
Smiles, thank you very much man. I appreciate your words.
You'r welcome sir 😊
Wow this is very good and deserves a thumbs up👍😊
thanks very much. I give you a thumbs up too 👍
You're welcome my brother.
Giving should be a thing of the heart and not because you want the public to label you a cheerful giver, but in our world today many people give to be labelled cheerful givers by the public.
I like your motive for giving.
Some people give with the plan of receiving or so that the person they give to can be in their debt
I totally agree