When my psychologist said: "People change, but when it's the right time for them, not for when you need it," I didn't understand much at that time. It was only the last part of the sentence that caught my attention. My head was filled with persistent questions that I couldn't silence.
Did that mean that I could wait forever for someone I knew to change to satisfy my desires? Or did that mean that the change could happen when I was ready to go to work at the required direction?
I began to think about some situations in which I had been waiting for someone to change, including co-workers, colleagues, friends and family members. In my mind, they had been there, seeming to be satisfied with the same things as always, and I felt distressed because only I seemed to need a change.
But my psychologist knew what he was telling me. She whispered gently and easy to understand, that there were particular moments when some things could change. But they were not commenting on whether or not I had the right to demand that someone adapt to my tastes, expectations or desires.
Instead, he was advising me to recognize that the change can occur when someone is really ready to embrace a change of attitude. After all, people have the right to make their own decisions about who they are without the pressure of others to adapt.
It seems that it is fair to condition a relationship so that it remains within the limits that both parties accept, avoiding demanding too much from others. You have to be able to open your heart to accept that there are things and people that can't change even if you want to.
With that said, that does not mean that there can be no space for a change in the required direction. There are never bad times to learn, evolve and grow, and there are times when we feel prepared to change at our own pace.
My psychologist was right when she said: "People change, but only when it's the right time for them, not when you need it." That phrase reflects the importance of opening your heart to the idea of individuality, free will and accepting that people have to find the right time to change. We are not robots that can be programmed at our convenience. So we must take into account the feelings of others, respect their decisions and let them change in their own time.
Versión en español.
Cuando mi psicóloga dijo: "La gente cambia, pero cuando es el momento correcto para ellos, no para cuando lo necesitas tú", no entendí mucho en ese momento. Fue solo la última parte de la frase la que capturó mi atención. Mi cabeza se llenaba de preguntas persistentes que no podía silenciar.
¿Eso significaba que podía esperar eternamente a que alguien que conocía cambiara para satisfacer mis deseos? ¿O eso significaba que el cambio podía ocurrir cuando estuviera listo para ir a trabajar en la dirección requerida?
Comencé a pensar en algunas situaciones en las que había estado esperando que alguien cambiara, incluidos compañeros de trabajo, colegas, amigos y miembros de mi familia. En mi mente, habían estado allí, pareciendo estar satisfechos con las mismas cosas de siempre, y me sentí angustiado porque solo yo parecía necesitar un cambio.
Pero mi psicóloga sabia lo que me estaba diciendo. Ella susurró con suavidad y fácil comprensión, que había momentos particulares en los que algunas cosas podrían cambiar. Pero no estaban opinando sobre si yo tenía o no derecho a exigir que alguien se adaptara a mis gustos, expectativas o deseos.
En cambio, me estaba aconsejando reconocer que el cambio puede ocurrir cuando alguien esté realmente listo para abrazar un cambio de actitud. Después de todo, la gente tiene derecho a tomar sus propias decisiones sobre quienes son sin la presión de los demás para adaptarse.
Parece que es justo condicionar una relación para que se mantenga dentro de los límites que ambas partes aceptan, evitando exigir demasiado a otros. Tienes que poder abrir tu corazón para aceptar que existen cosas y personas que no pueden cambiar incluso si quieres.
Con eso dicho, eso no significa que no pueda haber algún espacio para un cambio en la dirección requerida. Nunca hay malos momento para aprender, evolucionar y crecer, y hay momentos en los que nos sentimos preparados para cambiar a nuestro ritmo.
Mi psicóloga estaba en lo correcto cuando dijo: "La gente cambia, pero solo cuando es el momento correcto para ellos, no para cuando lo necesitas tú". Esa frase refleja la importancia de abrir tu corazón a la idea de la individualidad, el libre albedrío y aceptar que la gente tiene que encontrar el momento correcto para cambiar. No somos robots que se pueden programar a nuestra conveniencia. Así que debemos tener en cuenta los sentimientos de los demás, respetar sus decisiones y dejarlos cambiar a su tiempo.
I think it's not about changing, it may be a matter of adaptation, we change our behavior just to satisfy the desires that accumulate throughout our lives.
I think you're right. There is often a conflict between the behavior that is appropriate for a situation and our desires and feelings. Our adaptation is a form of balance between the two. We can change our behavior to adapt to the situation, but at the same time maintain our desires.
https://reddit.com/r/psicologia/comments/110gp36/do_people_change/
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