Hive Bum Spends Day on Hive Engine Converting The Crappy tokens for Hive .

in Comedy Open Mic20 days ago (edited)

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@eddietheeagle is half way through his half yearly Hive Engine cull. Selling his crappy tokens that he doesn't know how he got them for pittens. "But they all add up" he thought to himself. He had found a few gems however in the likes of Leo and Holozing, DEC and SPS that were worth a few pence which he could use the swap mechanism rather than the market place on Hive engine which took longer. He was 3 hours in now and had 18 swap-hive tokens all from nothing, He was now on the tokens he knew nothing about that were worth very little. There was CCC, Neoxian , Dhedge , Alive , Beer , PAL , Hustler, Archon, there were hundreds of them that he did not know anything about or how he got them but he was not complaining. He liked it. Another 0.00002 swap.Hive to the collection. "That will show them," thought Eddie.

Eddie had always had a thing about the Hive whales telling the world that they only managed to buy 10,500 riftwatchers packs in this round of Splinterlands while he scrimped and saved his meagre rewards to buy a Riftwatcher card let alone a whole pack so when he converted his meagre crappy tokens into swap.hive , it gave him a little kick. Like he was transferring 10,000 Hive for something else of value. SLOTHBUZZ , Lassecash , BRO, the list was endless but he had something small in all of them and he kept plugging anyway as his goal for every time he did the cull he aimed for 20 swap.hive.

Eddie even got into a routine of commenting on people that would give him some BEER , or FART or even LUV tokens in reply. They weren't worth much but he may as well get something for commenting. It was like collecting copper in real life. Save it up until you trade it in. But copper was worth more. Not that it mattered. All he has to do is press a button a 1000 times.

Eddie buttered his bread with his fingers as he was too mean to buy a knife. Maybe he might buy one from his swap-hive rewards. Who knows. He was on the 0.0000030 Hive crappy tokens and this was the section he found toughest to trade as none of these stupid coins would have volume. Eddie was an old fella so he didn't understand much around computers but he had mistakenly hit the symbol Z to A a couple of years ago and never really changed it back . After making his 20 swap-hive he was happy and bored enough with his button pressing and cashing in that he never got to letter A's but this time it looked like he was going to get to the end.

There was a strange token at the end called ALPHA and it looked like he had 1200 of them. Eddie squinted at the screen as he was too mean to buy readers. S- I- X- T- Y D-O-L-L-O-R-S. What in the hell? This ALPHA token rang a bell. Some lady from Mexico had gifted him 1200 Alpha tokens on Discord but he thought he had not received them and just said thanks and goodbye. He never heard from her again. But this was a turn up for the books. For ages he was cashing in tokens for 0.000002 swap.hive and here was the ALPHA token , all $72,000 of them.
"Hup Diddly" thought Eddie. "RA RA WEE RA" he shouted. "King of the castle" King of the castle".

This was more money that Eddie had see in his entire miserable life. He could not believe that Hive engine could give him this much bunse (bunsen burner- nice little earner). He got such a shock right then and there that his heart stopped with such a surprise. Eddie died.

A couple of weeks later his son called around to check up on the old git to find a decaying body in front of a computer screen that was amazingly still unlocked. Eddie hated the sleep function on his computer so he turned it off. Young Edward put his hand to his nose to stop the smell of death from reaching his nostrils. Was the old man looking at porn and had a heart attack with excitement? No no , his clothes were still on and his fly was not undone. Then what?
He looked at the computer screen and saw Hive Engine. "I thought that he had gotten out of that god forsaken site where he went around the neighbourhood taking photos of shadows and everyone thought he was a right old weirdo. It was all a bit strange for young Edward and he tried to convince his father to get out more and go down the pub to converse with normal people and not these weirdos that he knew in this Hive Community. They were all a bit touched on there with their conspiracy theories and scams. His father had always been onto him to start "blogging " for money but young Edward had a job and a life and he never thought this blogging for rewards would ever get anywhere. Young Edward took one look at the computer screen and saw he was in the Market screen in Hive Engine.

"What was the old mean bollocks up to?" as he pushed his dead father aside on the rolly chair.
"He doesn't do anything for free the old bugger,"

The ALPHA cards caught his eye as they as he pressed sell at well below the lowest ask. He also went into power down on Hive. Overall young Edward was going to make a tidy sum out of this. "This is for the years of neglect he muttered at his father. He then went over to his decaying face and mimicked him talking. "Sorry son". A bit of Edwards nose fell off in the sequence.

Young Edward was afraid to move the laptop in case it turned off so he was forced to leave it in place. He would take it after the funds were transferred.

"So dad I hate to break it to you but I'm gonna have to leave you here for another 13 weeks as this is how long it takes to power down."

"Soz and all that but hopefully some of the smell will be gone."

Once I transfer the funds then I will give the police a call saying I found you.

And with that Young Edward left the laptop on and set a timer for 13 weeks until all his Hive was liquid.

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Eddie was a Shadow Hunter? Another one bites the dust. 🤣

Curated with an Ecency vote ♥️

Eddie has left a permanent shadow on the world @melinda010100 😂 🤣

I thought that had gotten out of that god forsaken site where he went around the neighbourhood taking photos of shadows and everyone thought he was a right old weirdo.

I didn't expect the plot to thicken this good.

😂 as thick as treacle.

Conspiracy tokens, that's what we need!

!FART

!TFHELMET