I don't bring anyone close to me, but if I have a serious relationship with someone, it is very deep.. I, in fact, merge with the person, grow into him or her. Therefore after a loved one leaves my life, some part of me, of my essence, is lost.. I feel a sense of loss and inferiority.. It is as if a "hole" forms in me, which aches, and sometimes I want to fill it with some wrong, false value..