A miser can never give a gift without a snag.
Each Thursday I select a Viking quote, sometimes randomly but ofttimes based upon relevance or meaning to my life at that point in time. Despite these phrases being over a thousand years old I believe most can still offer value in modern society and I find it interesting to ponder, weigh and measure them. original im src
This week's Viking quote
A miser can never give a gift without a snag. - Gautrek's Saga
I used to know a man who was so willing to give unto others that he'd often place himself at a disadvantage because of it. I'm not just talking about financial giving or material things here although the man would give that also. He would help people, do manual labour, lift heavy things, mow lawns, make things for them or help them do it, teach, mentor and offer wisdom and knowledge gained over his lifetime.
He never asked for anything in return, didn't speak boastfully of his actions and didn't need or want accolades and praise; he just helped, gave, supported and nurtured.
I'll be honest and say there were times I questioned his generosity, moments in which it caused me stress, especially in the latter part of his life, and certainly times I wondered how a man could be so giving to others all the time. I once asked him how and why he could be so generous and he answered simply, I love everybody and I find happiness in demonstrating that through generosity.
Ok, that's a fair answer and one I wasn't about to argue with.
This man, he grew up with very little. He endured the Japanese occupation of his country and home town during World War Two, witnessed brutality of the highest nature, and suffered crippling loss and deprivation; he told me once, that they ate lizards and jungle leaves to stay alive. He knew fear and uncertainty, the Japanese officers' swords would take heads for the smallest of transgressions, and the allied bombing raids designed to dislodge the occupying forces would rain death down upon them as they raced through the jungle, fleeing for their lives. He endured though.
Later, after the war, he studied and became a high school teacher at nineteen years of age, a role he was very good at and passionately loved.
Much later he came to Australia, a sponsored artist on a nation-wide exhibition and speaking tour, met a local girl, married and had children. He taught high school still, in a small rural town and gave of himself: Wisdom, knowledge, understanding and more. He didn't know how to be any other way, nor did he want to be.
Looking back I can only say he was special.
His ability to give without the expectation of receiving anything at all in return was special. He didn't do favours with the expectation of receiving one in return, he did it because he'd grown up with nothing, in a hostile environment, and someone once showed him generosity; a story I'll tell some other time. I think, and I'm only speculating, that he made a decision all those years ago, to repay that generosity by paying it forward for the rest of his life, and he did so until he could do it no longer.
This man I speak of was my father.
He passed away in 2020 and I miss him. I was reading a passage from the Viking Sagas, came across this quote, and it made me think of him.
He taught me so much: Discipline, the benefit of working hard hard, refusal to quit, ownership, responsibility, caring, empathy, generosity and more. I built on them all later, in my own way, and now feel grateful my father took the time to show me the path and had the ownership and discipline to walk it himself, unswervingly. It helped make me a better man today.
My father was a better man than I could even imagine being though; he was so many things that I am not, nor will ever be, and all because he loved people. I never really got it, that love people part, but in truth, if I delve deep within myself, my need to protect people probably stems from that. I don't know, I'm just guessing.
What I do know is that those people whose lives my father touched are better for it, even if they don't know that.
That's it for this week, a thousand year-old Viking quote suggesting that it is better to give genuinely and without an agenda, without expecting something in return. A small act of kindness, genuinely given, could change a persons day...Many combined could change the world.
In the comments below, please feel free to disagree with my interpretation and add your own if you like, tell a story around this quote or general topic or simply react to it and let me know what you think, how you see it, how it relates to you or someone you know.
Skol.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Only a few lines into this, I knew who this piece was about. He passed on so many good traits to you Galen and he is proud of the person you are, I am sure of it.
There have been many times that you have written about him and I have sensed the loss that you feel since he passed. It's truly touching that you write about him with so much loving respect.
I often think I didn't do enough for him towards the end. It was a very stressful time, dementia, his cancer and other health issues were difficult to facilitate, but I still wonder if I should/could have done more because I know he would have in my place.
Thanks for your kind and accurate words.
I admire and respect your father and I don't even know him and never met him.
Right there. I bow down to that kind of grace. This entire piece touched my heart in ways I cannot explain right now. Thank you. It is a wonderful piece.
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Thank you Denise, her was a pretty interesting man and left an impression on me, that's for sure. I appreciate your kind words, as always.
The story of your father's life shows that internal happiness matters more than how your external circumstances are.
I know a lot of people who are suffering because they don't have enough money, or a good job, or own a house. But these are external factors, and something else is bugging them from inside.
Your father's external factors were harsh and brutal. Death, fear and uncertainty around him.
Still, he found happiness inside him, and shared that happiness with you and the rest of the world.
My father also grew up in poverty and very harsh circumstances, and he gave the best possible life to me that he possibly could. But his early years has broken him. And he has a mindset of scarcity, fear, uncertainty.
He has trouble trusting anyone. He fear opportunities. I grew up with the same mindset, fearing opportunities, my mind always filled with doubt and uncertainties.(Not complaining, just observing how people who grew up in worse conditions grow up to be completely different people. Thinking it's a choice who you become and how you see the world.)
Viktor Frankl, a holocaust survivor, and author of book, "Man's search of meaning", showed the world that your external factors matters less than your internal values and happiness.
I am sure that people who are internally happy, will be happy even if they lose most of their wealth. And people who are not happy from inside, winning million dollars lottery won't make them happy in the long term.
One thing I will implement in my life is to focus on my internal happiness, values and character, because external circumstances keeps changing.🙂
Hello, it's been a while.
I like what you say about people choosing how to see the world, and themselves. People don't need to perpetuate the influences they have around them if those influences are negative and unproductive. There's always a choice, as Viktor Frankl says in his book. The problem is people are often too afraid, lazy or irresponsible to make the choice...The way forward is most often the most difficult choice as it requires ownership, discipline, effort action.
If you focus on this it will improve and if it improves so will your life. This line above, it's a good goal to have and I'm glad you've decided to aim at it. I like the word will you use also, as opposed to want to.
I could see that was going to be your Dad, A good man. I think you got your generous spirit from him definitely.
I got my humour from my dad. It is nice to know a trait that has passed on. Makes you feel closer to them when they have gone
Yeah, it's predictable. The thought of him struck when I read that quote; it's funny how that happens huh?
I think it's nice to see traits in ourselves that our parents left us; the good ones I mean; it's a little like paying them homage right? That all that frustration we caused them paid off.
Aye the good ones are great to see. I do hate it when you get a glimpse of the bad traits too though. I can be horribly impatient and I can see that in myself as something I also picked up. Gaar. Still. you gotta take the good with the bad
Indeed...I blame them though! (It works as they're not here to defend themselves.)
Join the club...Now hurry the fuck up and finish typing this comment G-dog!
The only way to do it...Also, pass on the good (as best you can) to those little munchkins that are within your sphere of influence.
FFS, this took too long to tread. I don't have time for this... 😜
Aye, got to load the best bits on!!
Impatient fucker. 🤪
This is beautifully written and a lovely tribute to a very special man.
Becca 💗
Indeed he was. It was a privilege to know him and be his son.
Thanks for your comment.
As I read through, I got a feeling that you were surely talking about someone close.
I can relate to this, in a way, my father is the only man I look up to. If I had even half of his work ethic, then I'd be killing the game already. Then comes honesty and tolerance, I know I'll never be as tolerant and "honest" as him. Only God knows how much he's been manipulated because of these traits.
I'm quite the opposite, and that's probably because for most of my life I've seen my father struggle and get exploited for just being kind and tolerant. These are traits that I surely was born with, but I'm nowhere near his level, I'm not as brave as him, surely not as "pure" and kind hearted. I'm adaptive and I believe in "necessary evil", because I'm a coward. I'm great with the good, and the worst with the bad.
This was quite the read, I haven't read anything this attentively in a while.
Take care now. Cheers 🥃
Why don't you lift your efforts, increase your operational tempo and make things happen like your dad did?
You should give it a try, you may surprise yourself.
I understand what you mean and I tend to agree from my own perspective. My father would turn the other cheek, when wronged so to speak...I'll tear someone's face off. A distinct difference.
I have my father's core values and traits, I just deploy them differently. I'm not him, my life has been different and that means I'm different...I'm still very proud of him and that he instilled so much good in me.
Thanks for your comment.
I've picked up the pace already, but it'll surely take some time to catch up, my old man is a beast haha.
I always do brother, I try my best to be kind and tolerant, but from what I've seen so far, most people over here just don't respect "the nice guy".
I'd probably react the same way as you, or at least use my sharp little tongue lol.
We grew up and live in different worlds than our parents so it makes sense we're different. I get the impression you're much younger than I am also (I'm 52) and so there'll be differences between us...and that's not to mention cultural and experience differences. Basically, it's best just to seek continual improvement, to be the best version of ourselves and to be humble and kind. The rest will take care of itself.
Yes, I am younger, around half your age, so even we surely did grow up in different worlds.
For now my plan is to look ahead, keep on walking, climb a few ladders every now and then. Improve and acquire skills as time passes by, try to experience a lot of what life has to offer, and like you said, hopefully...
Good plan. Deploy it with vigour.
Will do brother. Cheers 🥃
I am sure that your father was a very good man. An example for us all. Sorry for your loss. To be honest, currently I do not even know who is my real father. The one, who died in 1997, or the one, who still lives. Either way, my mother passed away in 2017, so I also know what it is like to lose a parent.
To be honest, nowadays it is hard to even trust people. Enemies stab you in the back, and "true friends stab you in the front", as "Bring Me the Horizon" singed. This is true in my case. My brother betrayed me in 2018, after I lived with him and trusted him for 24 years. We grew up together.
I received a lot of help from complete strangers after that betrayal. So huge respect to those, who help others.
Have a nice day. All the best. Greetings and much love from Hungary.
He was.
I trust few people, and they have to earn it. Most people are assholes.
This sadly sounds so much like my own parents. Everything with them came with an attached string, or two. It's really no wonder they divorced when I was 3. It took me years after moving away to recondition myself. You won't see me speak much of them.
When I got married I entered that a family that seems much like the one you grew up in. My father-in-law taught me more about being an adult, being responsible, and being caring than anyone before me. I remember once needing assistance and advice; he was in the middle of doing his own thing, but he willingly put it all aside and gave me 100% of his attention until I was able to decide on a path forward. I will never forget that, and since that day I've done my best to lead by example as well. He also passed away several years ago and I miss him.
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that because as a child it's difficult not to absorb the behaviours I guess. I'll not say my upbringing was idyllic Victor, but certainly there were many good examples and for that I'm grateful.
I like your second paragraph a lot as it feels more like you and that's a good thing. It's incredible how having good and positive influences around can soak in...Much like the negative and bad, I guess. Humans are funny huh?
Thanks for reading this one...It's a bit personal to me and a little different that I would normally do for a Viking quote post, but it felt right.
There are very few we can found around who gives without any expectation. Honestly once I was among them but gradually things changed and I can give now without any condition and expectation as much I can afford.
It speaks highly of a person that they can give without the expectation of receiving in turn; most cannot.
Very touching tribute to your father's memory. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment.
It's so beautiful to see the generosity of your Dad, despite the immense hardship he went through. Many people would have become emotionally damaged in the process and damage other people with them.
Although, I can't help but think about this, the world being so wicked, so many kind and selfless people have been trumped by others who would stop at nothing to get their selfish desire... And sometimes it seems like it's pointless to be selfless...
The world is unfair, brutal and unforgiving; it's up to each individual to deal with it...and do something that softens it, makes it better. Generosity is one such way.
Love is truly expressed through giving. And the happiness of others is your happiness. Remember the golden rule;
This is very profound, as the karma law state;
There's no good we do to others that is in Vain. We have to keep one. Thanks so kindly for sharing my friend.
Interesting comments.
I don't believe in karma though...I've seen so many good people who do good things suffer through so much. I've also seen seen those who have taken terrible actions and perpetrated heinous acts thrive...If karma exists, why is this so?
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Your father is a great man, to be so giving and helping others in whatever way he can. I think he is also a happy man as he derives so much satisfaction in helping others.
He was generally happy, when he was alive.