Have you noticed that almost always when someone is being unpleasant and abrasive (I'm referring to strangers), and you respond calmly and non-aggressively, that their initial response to you will be significantly less abrasive, and continue to drop down rapidly until at an entirely mild tone? It is like they feel their aggression is put under a spotlight when compared to your lack of aggression, and it makes them ashamed. I'm assuming that is what happened in your checkout line. I used to deal with irate people a lot in my former job. They would be ready to murder the lawyer I worked for, and after I calmly blinked at them and said "How can I help you?" they would lose all their umph. Ha.
I read the quote as less of a "be selective" and more of a "be passive" statement. The wisest of us don't fight at all. All disagreements between individuals should be resolvable without fighting. Obviously, this takes a very wise zenned out person, that I am not. Some circumstances are certainly easier than others, which makes me think of two people I know that are ridiculously argumentative. They have few friends because of it. But I am friends with them, because I just will not fight. Sort of getting back to the point of that first paragraph. It is easy to not fight with people like that, because you know they want to. Now when my husband starts something, that's a totally different ballgame ;)
Talking calmly is often a nice way of bringing a tense situation to a faster resolution. It's like when some one is ranting, it's best to let them blow the wind our if their own sails offering some encouragement to do so, prior to trying to address it. If they go again, then the same...They tend to be easier to deal with after they get puffed out.
Or...Smackdown.
Ok, not really.
But really.
Not.
Or yes.
😊
The power of a calm, I can't say I know how you feel, but I can imagine,goes a long way.
I like your way of seeing the quote; there's always many ways to read them and I only select one that might be loosely relevant to me, or just interesting. Your way works, not going to argue. 😉
Also, I think I feel a little sorry for your hubby, on those occasions when he starts something. 🤪
Thank goodness for that. Keeps life interesting.
Lol. Don't. He can handle his own. He's got a lot more fire in his personality than I do. We have been together 16 years, and have only fought a handful of times, which lasted for about a day. We are pretty nonconfrontational people:)
Non-confrontational people make for a good mix in a marriage I'd say. Seems like you've got it worked out. ✅
After 16 years I would hope so - can't imagine bickering all those years. Sounds like you two fit the same category.
Bickering isn't good...Biscuiting is! 🙄
Is biscuiting in Australia the act of eating cookies (I'm never sure how much British-lingering you all have), or eating breakfast bread, or something else entirely?
I'm going with eating cookies, because that really is the best option.
Lol...Yeah, we generally call cookies biscuits although the use of cookie isn't unheard of.
So, bBiscuiting* is legit.