Think like a Viking: Part thirty two

in Self Improvement2 years ago (edited)

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It is an old custom for the wisest to give way.


Each Thursday I select a Viking quote, sometimes randomly but ofttimes based upon relevance or meaning to my life at that point in time. Despite these phrases being over a thousand years old I believe most can still offer value in modern society and I find it interesting to ponder, weigh and measure them. original im src


This week's Viking quote

It is an old custom for the wisest to give way. - The Saga of Harald Hardrade

Pick and choose your battles and know when it may be best to let things slide.

Battles, I've had a few - some I've won, others were lost and there's a few still in-process. Most could say that right? Our battles can seem similar as we're all human and similar forces exert pressure and require attention but we're all individuals and handle things differently. Also, the way we each interpret a battle varies also; a battle for one may be a normal everyday situation for another I guess.

What's constant is that battles, or adversities, complexities, and difficult situations can happen no matter how hard we work to mitigate their possibility. What else is constant amongst us all is that we all have the ability to choose how we act and approach those moments, how we move them forward and also whether we want or need to engage with them in the first place.

I'm not one to value drama. That doesn't mean I won't get involved when my input can make a difference, someone needs genuine help that I can provide, or a situation is such that I feel compelled to get involved. But general drama is not something I'm interested in - I don't see the point.

We live in a world in which things escalate rapidly and it's easy to get involved. I refer to online things; social media things.

Everyone has an opinion and wants to voice it and with the rise of the interwebs and social medias it seems that many people get involved with situations, battles, that are none of their business, don't relate to them in the least bit and, in the grand scheme of things, have literally no real impact or value in their lives at all. But there they are, drawn into the situation, and often getting upset about it needlessly.

I have chosen this Viking quote today because recently a friend of mine spoke about his daughter of twenty years old who has found herself entangled in a situation online that has spilled over into her real life, affected her work, social life and mental health. Sound familiar? He, a man of about my age and is at a loss as to how to move it forward and, as a man of action who loves his daughter very much, is struggling with the fallout from the situation. The sad thing is that the initial scenario had literally nothing to do with the girl at all; it simply escalated and because of her choice to get involved has entangled her in its insidious web. Her fault? Yes, of course. Avoidable? Certainly.

I detest apathy, especially when things matter. It is weak, selfish and speaks poorly of a person's character in my opinion.

An example? Someone being victimised or assaulted on the street; I'm not the turn-a-blind-eye sort of fellow. Or when someone treats a person poorly for no valid reason. I saw this happen at the checkout in the supermarket a week or so ago. The customer was impatient and abusive to the worker who was a new operator. I'm not the turn-a-blind-eye sort of chap so told the customer they were being rude, obnoxious and were well out of line. He appeared ready to pounce upon me but changed his mind reasonably quickly; maybe because of the expression I wore? He apologised to the checkout-girl actually - a much better course of action - and I gave him credit for that. I'm not going to sit by and let those things slide. But I'm selective. I choose my battles because some things are simply not worth it; let's call it most of that online social-media drivel that people seem to occupy their lives with for no apparent reason or value.

I feel there's enough in life that deserves my attention without adding to it by getting involved in things that simply do not matter to me, nor will probably ever matter.

I don't see the point in raising my stress-level, becoming irritated or anxious, angry or aggressive, worried or incensed over things that simply have no relevance; this is why I don't watch the news. Don't misunderstand, this doesn't mean I'm uninformed, it simply means I select the information I absorb and carefully filter out the aspects and information that won't value-add to my personal existence or simply do not matter. It also doesn't mean I'm apathetic to the plight of others; just selective. It's my right as a human and my life is a little less complicated for it.

In short, I choose my battles which allows me to enrich my life with moments, information, people and situations that provide valued reward. Removing the unimportant things means I have more time to devote to those things that actually matter and makes me more efficient at dealing with them when required. I have more time to contemplate, assess and determine a way forward and if that's to take action I'm more able to do so effectively.


That's it for this week, a thousand year-old Viking quote suggesting that one needs to be selective about what situations and scenarios they choose to engage with. Please feel free to disagree with my interpretation and add your own, tell me a story around this quote or topic or simply react to it and let me know what you think, how you see it, how it relates to you or someone you know.

Skol.


Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind

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Have you noticed that almost always when someone is being unpleasant and abrasive (I'm referring to strangers), and you respond calmly and non-aggressively, that their initial response to you will be significantly less abrasive, and continue to drop down rapidly until at an entirely mild tone? It is like they feel their aggression is put under a spotlight when compared to your lack of aggression, and it makes them ashamed. I'm assuming that is what happened in your checkout line. I used to deal with irate people a lot in my former job. They would be ready to murder the lawyer I worked for, and after I calmly blinked at them and said "How can I help you?" they would lose all their umph. Ha.

I read the quote as less of a "be selective" and more of a "be passive" statement. The wisest of us don't fight at all. All disagreements between individuals should be resolvable without fighting. Obviously, this takes a very wise zenned out person, that I am not. Some circumstances are certainly easier than others, which makes me think of two people I know that are ridiculously argumentative. They have few friends because of it. But I am friends with them, because I just will not fight. Sort of getting back to the point of that first paragraph. It is easy to not fight with people like that, because you know they want to. Now when my husband starts something, that's a totally different ballgame ;)

Talking calmly is often a nice way of bringing a tense situation to a faster resolution. It's like when some one is ranting, it's best to let them blow the wind our if their own sails offering some encouragement to do so, prior to trying to address it. If they go again, then the same...They tend to be easier to deal with after they get puffed out.

Or...Smackdown.

Ok, not really.

But really.

Not.

Or yes.

😊

The power of a calm, I can't say I know how you feel, but I can imagine,goes a long way.

I like your way of seeing the quote; there's always many ways to read them and I only select one that might be loosely relevant to me, or just interesting. Your way works, not going to argue. 😉

Also, I think I feel a little sorry for your hubby, on those occasions when he starts something. 🤪

there's always many ways to read them

Thank goodness for that. Keeps life interesting.

I think I feel a little sorry for your hubby

Lol. Don't. He can handle his own. He's got a lot more fire in his personality than I do. We have been together 16 years, and have only fought a handful of times, which lasted for about a day. We are pretty nonconfrontational people:)

Non-confrontational people make for a good mix in a marriage I'd say. Seems like you've got it worked out. ✅

After 16 years I would hope so - can't imagine bickering all those years. Sounds like you two fit the same category.

Bickering isn't good...Biscuiting is! 🙄

Is biscuiting in Australia the act of eating cookies (I'm never sure how much British-lingering you all have), or eating breakfast bread, or something else entirely?

I'm going with eating cookies, because that really is the best option.

I choose to help people and don't go into alliances. I'll be there for anyone needing me as I can.
I liked your narrative, the font you've used in the photo, and your sense of subjectiveness.
You made a clear point that I respect and salute!

Thanks for your comment and interaction on my post and I'm glad you found something of value.

It had reinforced some of my beliefs, not that I follow the exact path.
Value is there under different forms. So thanks for providing it.

Appreciated.

Very well written and can relate for sure. I have not watched news in years and deleted my social media accounts a year ago, never felt better in my life with that being gone. That's how I chose my battle, I had to remove things that would possibly trigger me in a negative way as I was healing from other issues.
Unfortunately people normally react to things that make no sense, most of the time out of their own personal dramas, struggles, pain...Whatever it may be, there is no excuse for being rude to someone who is not at fault, rather just doing their job. I feel bad for those people who need to deal with stuff like that, which causes mental issues in their own life just because they HAVE to be there and are not able to chose their battles. Unfortunately especially these days, there is so much pain and struggle and people take it out on ones around them, instead of admitting there is an issue and find help for it.
Yes, mental health is a big thing and it requires a lot of work, healing and keeping yourself on track at all times no matter what happens. It's the toughest battle I know, battle with your own mind.

Hey, that's awesome about your SM's. I don't have any either and am glad if it. There's nothing of value there and removing the negativity from ones life is ownership over and responsibility for oneself and the benefits are massive.

I get the impression you're pretty switched on about methods to keep oneself on track and that's a good thing. So many relinquish their control over that to social medias and yeah, they suffer for it; also many are so blinded they don't even see it.

Thanks for your great comment and for sharing some of your personal thoughts. ✅

I agree, there's no value from social media, rather it's a tool to brainwash people more.

Yea, I've been around people who are struggling and trying to help them through their mental health issues, it has taught me a lot but mostly learning from my own experiences. Until you realise you have a problem and start properly working on it, you can't know and see it and unfortunately most people start doing so when they don't have any other option, when you fall so deep, the only motivation you have is to find a solution on how to get back up. The rest, well they remain in their "victim mentality" for a long time and it shows through how they treat others.

Thanks for choosing such topic, always love to discuss deep things like this :)

It all seems so clear to me, the downside of social media, and yet so many stay there, defend it, extolling its value to them. Talk about brainwashed.

I used to try and make them see it differently, or at least see some of the negatives. A few did but most...Nope, they spend their lives on that endless scrolling-feed and absorb the negativity as if it's nourishing.

It's bemusing.

Yup, the struggle is real! I sometimes do the same and try to inform people about all sort of things but it's very hard to convince the convinced so I stopped bothering. Well, I still try, but less than I use to. People are scared of changes so they rather stay in their bubble of what they know and are familiar with.
Battles we cannot win :I

Yes...As the quote indicates, one must know when to walk away from some things. So, I rarely try to enlighten people over the social media plague and leave them to find out the hard way.

DRINK like a Viking ;-)
Just stole - pardon lent - this Mead-recipe - Hail Odin !


Elderberry/Persimmon Mead: A Melomel Masterpiece!

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2022-01-06 11.19.14 vk.com 40c593396f07.png

I'd drink that.

Mead is rare and expensive .. we kill the bees .. and lose the honey .. we will have to start a beehive-in-every-garden action and then collect the honey and produce Mead regionally if we want to go on having Mead -- and finally all kind of vegetation ..

I have a very bee friendly garden and even have the Australian native blue banded bees. I love those little things...But yeah, you're right, no bees, no vegetation eventually.

to become successful it must be organized -- you know how people are -- they hardly move their asses for nature and survival but for some peanuts they can earn extra per month - maybe they will .. if an organization offers beehives for every home .. small garden, garage-roofs, terrasse and so on ... and collects the honey and produces mead one can sell via internet and they get a little from the income .. then maybe we coul get enough bees to restart our planet -- and Mead-prodcution ..find a good brand -- Bees of Asgard maybe ;-).. and it WILL sell .. and grow

Bees of Asgard

Now you're talking! I want some.

Everyone has an opinion and wants to voice it and with the rise of the interwebs and social medias it seems that many people get involved with situations, battles, that are none of their business, don't relate to them in the least bit and, in the grand scheme of things, have literally no real impact or value in their lives at all. But there they are, drawn into the situation, and often getting upset about it needlessly.

I think one of the biggest mistakes our society makes is in the belief that just because you have an opinion that the opinion is right...lolol We have also fallen prey to the falsehood that if you disagree with someone you must dislike, oppose, or hate them and nothing could be further from the truth.

The pain of surviving far too many battles literal and figurative has given me the gift of a small amount of wisdom related to knowing when and where to fight. I am much for likely to walk away from a situation than I was in my youth and I'm glad I've evolved enough to have the strength to walk away when I can. Violence is usually far to easy an option compared to walking away. Of course, when pushed let the elbows fly lolololol

Although I won't suffer a bully for an instant and most of my confrontations today stem from abuses being leveled at the weaker than being directed at myself. I'm always a work in progress and there are situations that I can still be baited into if I'm entertaining the wrong demeanor that day, but I strive to do better than I did yesterday.

Of course, I love a little CCTV feed of you and that guy had he decided bowing up was the wiser option!!!! lololol

You're right about the opinion thing and the so battle/walk away matter as well. People get incensed about the ridiculous and let the important things slide. It's all turned around these days.

I'm much the same as you, I don't like applying violence and will avoid it...But am good at it if and when there's a need. I feel that's a good balance. Knowing when to walk and when to take other appropriate action is a skill. Unfortunately people don't have that much in real life or social media.

What else is constant amongst us all is that we all have the ability to choose how we act and approach those moments

So very true. I have this same conversation with my boys all the time (too often) (and yes, nearly all of my life lessons involve my children): "You cannot always choose what happens around you, but you can always choose how you respond." This becomes particularly true with my middle son having had suicidal thoughts last year (and all the knives are still hidden).

I typically won't watch the news, either; it's full of fear-mongering. I feel if there's something I need to know it'll come up organically during interaction with other people. If not, then I don't even know I'm missing it, and my beer tastes that much better without the stress. 😁

I'm sorry about your son. That's a bad and complicated situation. Also, quite common it seems these days. I hope it works out.

The news thing. You're right, I find out things from people I talk with, most of which doesn't affect or influence me, so why watch the news? Landslide in China? I wasn't there. Horrific car crash in Queensland? I wasn't there. I think you understand. I'd rather seek my information and selectively take it in.

Thanks for your comment.

MERRY THORSDAY!!!!