Wow. What a read.
I really wasn't sure what to expect of this. It takes a lot of courage to look at yourself when you were the bad guy. Even more courage to put it out there on the internet (where so many of us choose to always play the angel). So kudos to you for that. There is so much empathy and wisdom in your writing, I wish everyone was this honest. Thank you for that, and lovely to have discovered you :)
Oh wow, this comment gave me goosebumps, so grateful and delighted for your visit.
And yes, just as you say, many of us choose to show only our "nicer" side, that's why this time I challenged myself and although at first I wasn't sure whether to publish that story or not, I decided to do it because I thought it could be inspiring for someone, in a good way.
I talked about it at the time with a couple of friends and also with a therapist, but writing it down made me do a kind of catharsis even more, like finishing removing any impurities that I wasn't even aware were still there.
And receiving comments like this, my soul lights up.
Thank you so much!