WEEK 231: PARENTING IS NEVER EASY

“As severe as a father may be in judging his son, he is never as severe as a son judging his father”.

-Enrique Jardiel Poncela-

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_{Keys de Piedras (of Stones), in the Caguanes National Park. Cuba}

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A good weekend for everyone, where it is becoming a habit to review the proposed topics shared by @galenkp and include a space for reflection within the weekly break.

Week 231 of Weekend-Engagement topics, here I go with my choice for this occasion. I confess that I wanted to tell you about my experience as a rhinoceros, but in the end I decided for something else... serious?

Do you think parenting is easier now that it was thirty years ago? What's your opinion and why, and use examples.

As is always the case, this topic doesn't have black and white answers, it comes with its shades of gray. At least that's how I see it. There are areas where things have gotten easier for today's parents and there are other areas where parents 30 years ago were better off. For the sake of disclaimer, my experience puts me in the group of older parents.

The parents of 30 years ago belong to a transition period between the traditional way of raising children and the one that is currently predominant. I would have liked it better if the question in the proposed topic for this weekend asked to compare the experience of parents from a few years ago with the current one. I can understand the reason for the 30-year limit, that time warrants real experiences rather than references told by those who actually experienced them.

We were formed through an iron discipline, where the authority of a parent was obeyed without the right to reply, as in a military barracks. Failure to comply with the established rules was paid with “blood” or worse, with “banishment” from the family bosom. In spite of all that, there was an air of family unity, which today has been lost.

In the old days, family was a broad concept that included distant relatives, with whom bonds of affection were maintained that were very similar to those we reserve for close relatives. That was one of the advantages that parents of another era had; there was always a relative available to help in the care of the children. In case of temporary or permanent absence of the parents, relatives took their place as a matter of course.

In the past, the experience of parenting was passed down through generations within the family. We newcomers learned from the elders. Today's parents have other resources at their disposal, which I consider an advantage of these times. In a world that makes extensive use of technology, we all have a doctor or child psychologist at our fingertips. Social networks, on the other hand, allow us to share experiences lived by other parents, which serve as learning tools to avoid making mistakes or dealing with the lack of skills in certain aspects of parenting.

Parenting methods have definitely changed. In my time we were told: “children talk when the pigs learn to fly”, that is to say, the opinion of a minor had no value when it came to making family decisions. Now, children are given participation and their tastes and opinions are respected as members with a voice and a vote within the family dynamics. In all honesty, I find it difficult to give an opinion on whether this facilitates the work of parents. This way of educating can cause irreconcilable contradictions between parents and children. There are many issues in which a minor does not have the necessary development to make a decision by himself.

Despite the freedom given to children today, I am of the opinion that they are more dependent on their parents than they were 30 years ago. Now, parents often want to take the place of their children to spare them effort and inconvenience. Today's parents are more overprotective and their children like to be overprotected to relieve them of responsibilities. Although many parents do not like it, this way of acting does not make their role any easier. It is robbing them of their time and does not allow their children to fully develop.

I could talk a lot more about this subject. These are just a few ideas that, in a disorganized way, came to me as I was writing. I understand that other users may not share my opinion. Parenting is never easy and in the end you only learn by doing. Success or failure can only be measured when we reap the fruits of our sowing: the children.

Thanks for reading and happy weekend to all.

_{Keys de Piedras (of Stones), in the Caguanes National Park. Cuba}

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_{✏️ Original content by @leopard0
✒️ Translated with DeepL.com (free version)
📸 Own pictures}