Thanks for nothing!

It is Mother's Day tomorrow and I haven't planned anything, other than a breakfast that Smallsteps and I will make before The Mummy wakes up. It really isn't going to be anything special, but to be honest, it is a ridiculous "event" in my opinion, but one that seems has to be paid attention to, otherwise I will evoke the wrath of the Instagram gods or something.

I can't wait until Smallsteps is old enough to handle this by herself.

At the supermarket, it looked like I wasn't the only one leaving breakfast prep until the last minute, with the store full of fathers doing their best to find random stuff that seems special enough for the occasion - there isn't much. I also ran into the father of my daughter's best friend at daycare and his daughter - it was 10pm already and she looked very tired.

You can probably catch the vibe - I am over it.

But, gotta do what you gotta do.

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These holidays are silly.

I am looking forward to summer though and if possible, I am going to try and take more time off than normal, since I have most of last year's summer holiday allowance also. All up with overtime saved, I have almost 60 days of time off owing and while I don't want to take them all, an extra few days here and there might be welcome. Smallsteps is starting preschool in the autumn too, so I will take a couple days to spend with her before also, as I think she will enjoy some extra attention and I suspect the closer it gets, the more nervous she will become and want to talk about it.

Do you remember your first day of school?

I do.

I remember my first day of kindergarten, school and high school.

The first two sucked massively and I disliked going a lot. But my first day of high school I entered into the grounds and a pretty girl named Maria called me over and we started talking - I liked school a lot more from then on.

I was not a good student.

Funny though, isn't it? How such little things can change the entire experience going forward and perhaps, completely shift our future paths. I wonder what would have happened if those early experiences had been good or, Maria hadn't spoken to me that day - would I have been a better student - worse? Would I be where I am now or somewhere completely different?

Sliding doors, right?

If I did nothing tomorrow for Mother's Day, what would happen? Would nothing change or would it be a catalyst for pivot in our relationship, setting up a chain of events that would fundamentally affect us?

Should I risk it and sleep-in instead?

This is the thing...

There is no way to actually know what tomorrow will hold and while it is possible to predict based on past performance, future outcomes can be wildly different from expected and can be affected by an endless array of alternatives that were never factored into the initial data that were used for the prediction. There is so much out of our control and awareness, that it is a fool's errand to try and call the future and, a fool who thinks that they know all that led to where they are today.

Our memories are selective.

I wonder how much of our lives we accurately recall and how much we can't recall at all. It would be an interesting metric to have visibility on, because we think that since we lived through our lives, we know what has led us to be the way we are, or understand who we are, when in all likelihood, we are not much more knowledgeable than a stranger when it comes to most things - especially our early years.

All of these events seem so important at the time of having them but a year from now, my wife will not know what she ate for breakfast tomorrow, or remember what gift she got - but she will remember if she got no gift at all - which is what she is going to receive.

It will be memorable.

Score!

Happy Mother's Day.

Taraz
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Well, I admire your dedication to ideals even though I am a little dubious at the perceived gain.

The obvious path of least resistance is to buy the flowers and meaningless gift so as to not stir the pot of resentment and retaliation. Around here there is a saying "If mama ain't happy, nobody is happy."

But she will remember. I'm guessing one day she'll give you the look and ask "Were you pissed at me that year you didn't give me a mother's day gift?"

That's one of those questions like "Do these jeans make my butt look fat?" There is absolutely no correct answer but you better say something-else the problem just gained a magnitude of potential ugliness.

At the end, I like your style. How did the greeting card industry ever get so much power and influence in our lives? That's the real question but you are probably better off just saying "Yeah. Those jeans make you look like your ass is spreading like a forest fire." Just sayin'

Well, I admire your dedication to ideals even though I am a little dubious at the perceived gain.

There is no gain I believe :D

stir the pot of resentment and retaliation.

I think the first is already established - the retaliation is yet to come.

If asked for my opinion, I give my opinion - she should know that by now so - if scared of the answer, don't ask :)

How did the greeting card industry ever get so much power and influence in our lives?

The whole world is driven by consumption and as a result, we have the crappy conditions we have. No one creates, everything is disposable.

Happy Mother's Day to you and everyone reading this.

I think anything you do to surprise someone that brings happiness and show gesture of love is not ridiculous at all. Any small thing can be pleasing to ourselves when we see our relatives become content.

I hope smallsteps' mother had a wonderful morning when she had been served a lovely breakfast made by her daughter. What a moment it had been.

You are planning on for a summer vacation with your family, specially daughter, it would be really a superb vacation, you keep close to each other, play kids stuff, lots chats with smallsteps, and above all a memorable time for you daughter. Have a great mother's day.

:)

I agree - the surprises are good - which is why these days are bad - there is an expectation and so much advertising around it, what is the surprise? But, it is nice to do something regardless.

Do you have plans for a vacation at all?

haha well said my friend, the surprises can be anything a mystery gift, visit to an unknown place, or anything special.

A kinda yes or not, but my kids will have a long vacation in June and July, so probably I plan for a visit to northern regions.

Have to agree with you 'special day celebration' after all, you are a mother every day, from the day you gave birth.

No breakfast in bed ever...., horror thinking about the mess I would have had to clear later!

A hug from my sons will suffice, now arrive with a good bottle of wine being older, now know better, I don't do normal... like birthdays when everyone gleefully arrives to remind you, you aging!

When young it was awesome when sons arrived home from school with a little hand drawn card with wish, now that was something to hold on to.

I cherish the memories of my Mom, all the places we enjoyed together, never a special day set aside back then, this is another new marketing ploy along with many others.

No breakfast in bed ever...., horror thinking about the mess I would have had to clear later!

Ever noticed how a lot of these holidays end up more work for the people they are meant to be rewarding? :D

now arrive with a good bottle of wine being older

This is how it should be.

I like all the handmade stuff - the cards and drawings - Smallsteps loves that part too - so does mum :)

Happy Mother's Day every day!

Those hand drawn cards or letters to Santa when young, I still have a few, really fun to remember the innocence, eagerness in presentation or preparation.

Enjoy that leave you stacked up, worth taking extra time to relax over extended period to fully appreciate.

Have a wonderful new week ahead, hope you succeeded in venture through kitchen with Smallsteps eager little hands helping.

Because everything revolves around me, I have now decided that all parents have a photo like your cover for no other reason than I have a very similarly posed photo of J and our eldest when he was about the same age XD

Small's hair is getting long!

There should be a parenting book with a timeline and photos that have to be taken at various times and ages, as well as best poses for social media - Best seller! :D

That would thoroughly destroy a completionist. Imagine if you missed one of the milestones XD would probably generate some additional income for therapists too x_x

The follow up book would be, "Dealing with missed milestones"

I got real clever early on. I got her a big notebook; and instead of cards (that'll get lost), every special day the kids write something and/or draw something in her book. She loves it.
Christmas, birthdays, Mothers Day, they're all in there.
Gifts are a pain, for Mother's day. The kids have a stall at school, so they get her something there.

This is a great idea and I wish I had started a book and earlier - it would be awesome to see the progression from baby to adult, adding their mark at all of these points.

Bravo! I so agree with you and I am a mother lol. A hug from my son is all I ever want and I get that on a near daily basis. I am considered poor by many standards and yet I want for nothing, am entirely happy and feel richer than most folks I know.

Some holidays are created to make all good consumers rush out and spend their hard earned money on frivolous things. Woe to those who choose not to participate as society has decreed that you are less than human if you do not provide the appropriate gifty on the appropriate day.

Love your family every day, not just on the day set aside for their recognition. You're doing just fine

Having a family do anything special, is special enough I think. I reckon my wife was most happy that she woke up and I had cleaned the bathroom (like a real proper clean) during the night while she was asleep.

I feel that a lot of the events now have to be instagrammable - if they aren't worth the picture and post, it was a failure.

Effort put forth is so much more valuable than money spent. Like you say, the photo ops are tops on some folks list lol.

That being said, you are a true keeper and I bet your wife knows your worth!

I think breakfast is a lovely gesture although I think breakfast in bed for no special occasion is better. Does that make sense?

To be honest, I didn't even know it was Mother's Day this weekend until I was told on Thursday. It's not a huge deal for me these days as my own Mother is now gone and I no longer have to make a big hoo-ha of it. It's quite a relief.

Yes it makes sense. This is how I see gift giving too - a gift when expected has less value than one out of the blue. I am more out of the blue on everything - but the expectation is persistent.

I actually think father's day is more important in the family - because I don't get anything the rest of the year :D

We probably don]t recall events accurately. But then we all see and experience things from different views or perspectives. In the big picture, sadly, too often we remember more the bad than the good...until of course someone dies... in which case we forget the bad and glorify the dead like they have achieved sainthood. It is better to remember and do the niceties for them while they are living, regardless if they remember or not.

in which case we forget the bad and glorify the dead like they have achieved sainthood

This came up the other day in a conversation with my wife after some famous person died. He was a sleaze while alive, why make him a saint?

You say what all men are thinking! lol

I did the flowers and chocolates run today myself. As you know, women are emotional creatures.

How'd it go - no rolled eyes?

lol. Better than when I forgot her birthday.

A lot of celebrations have been commercialized by businesses to make profits, and Mother's Day is no exception. I am not sure whether this reasoning still holds water, it is the thoughts that count. So is your wife pleased with the breakfast celebration?

She enjoyed the breakfast and there was far too much food to eat :D

I see we have Mother's Day on the same day with Finland. Some European countries celebrate it in different times. I don't like such days as well; however, if it is about Mothers, I can't say it :)

Do you remember your first day of school?

I remember. There were many children crying including me in primary school and I didn't want to go 😁

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers in the world as well as animals.

Have to keep your mouth shut and grin and bear it! :D

I had a wet soccer ball kicked into my face as I was walking across the oval.

as well as animals.

The animals should get more praise :)

We are also an animal :)

Hahaha I laughed with your publication, I agree with many things in my country we are also celebrating mother's day, I take it lightly, if there are gifts well and if not also. I see it more as a justification for a day of special attention.
Sometimes we do things to please other people and that can be rewarding and if there are children involved then even more so.
May everything go well today and may you enjoy your summer vacations.

Great post about family @tarazkp

Account Curator of the Family & Friends community thanks you for sharing your experiences and stories about your loved ones.

Congratulations, A big Hug

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i also remember my first day in secondary school, where i meet this girl, at first i was shy but been with her reduces it, and she was the first person that called me by my surname name which i still preferred to be called till date .