hello @kinganny. Your piece had good structure but it would have been even better if you had edited it to correct basic grammar mistakes and remove redundancy. It also needed a stronger character arc. Without showing us the growth of you main character over the course of the story, we do not become invested in the outcome. We need to understand why Mike is who he is and either see a shift in his attitude as he learns something about himself, or if there is no growth in his character, we need to understand clearly why it is not possible for him, and perhaps see growth in someone else instead. We also note that your comments on the stories of others is quite repetitive and brief. We would encourage you to engage more meaningfully in the community.