The Movie Theater

In every city in the world that I happen to be, I always look for an old movie theater with only one screen. No multiplex for me. And I always arrive at least fifteen minutes before the commercials and the trailers, so that I can see the decor. Over the years, I have been in many beautiful movie theaters, but they are disappearing pretty fast.

In the late 1950s, when I was three years old, we were living in a suburb of Paris. My father was a librarian in one of the big libraries in Paris. My mother was not working and was taking care of my younger brother and me.

I have no real memory of this time, as I was too young. I was told that we were a happy family.

My father started to have incapacitated headaches that would often prevent him to work. After some tests, it was discovered that he had a non-malignant brain tumor. He got an operation, that seemed to be successful, and was able to work again.

However, two years later, the tumor had returned. He declined rapidly and died two days before my fifth birthday. I loved my father, but in my memories of him, he was always sick.

My mother was really affected by the death of her husband. They had known each other since they were children but had married rather late because of World War II.

Even though she got help from her father, my mother had to start working as a cleaning lady for several families. While she was working, we would be, my brother and me, at the local day nursery.

We no longer were a happy family. My mother almost stopped talking. We were often on our own while she was crying in her bedroom. We were not neglected, but she stopped touching us. I don't remember being hugged by my mother after the death of my father.

When I was seven years old, I started attending elementary school, while my brother was still at the day nursery. At his time in France, there was no school on Thursday. We did not like Thursday, as we stayed all day in our apartment, alone while my mother was working. We had no television or radio.

Two months after school started, on a Thursday, my mother suddenly told us that as she was not working during the day, she would take us to see a movie at the local theater. This was a pleasant surprise and we were really happy.

I learned later that in the city where we were living, there were only three movie theaters: "L'Alhambra", "le Trianon" and "Le Star".

Le Star was the closest to our apartment. Every day, when I walked to school, I could see it on the other side of the street.

So, in the middle of the afternoon, my mother, my brother and me, we went to see a movie at "Le Star". I don't remember what the movie was, but I still remember entering this palace of wonders. In my memory, everything was bright and colorful. To me, the seats looked very comfortable. I was amazed by my first experience of going to the movie theater.

For days, my brother and me we talked about it, remembering all the details of our visit to "Le Star".

Three weeks later, my mother committed suicide. She jumped in front of a train and died instantly.

We were ten raised, my brother and me, by our maternal grandparents, who were wonderful people. However, until I was 10, I was a very angry boy and that should not have been easy for them. I hated my mother who had decided to abandon us.

I recovered eventually and started to behave. At age 16, while I was in high school, on a Saturday I decided to go see "Le Star" again. I discovered that it was no longer in existence. The building had been demolished and an apartment building had been built on the location.

Enquiring at the cafe-bar next door, I learned that the movie theater had closed less than a year after our visit. It had been losing money for a long time.

Since then, I have been to many old movie theaters, but none of them looked as wonderful as "Le Star". I am now ready to retire and I have forgiven my mother a long time ago. Every day, I think about her and about our visit to "Le Star", the best memory of my childhood, three weeks before the worst one.