So, I have a confession to make, my house is never quite as clean as I would like it to be. The tradeoff is that I get to enjoy living in the country, surrounded by soil, pet friends, and fresh air, but it also means my floors will be forever slightly soiled no matter how much I sweep them.
The thing is, I would love it if dirt was the only thing I had to contend with when it came to floor detritus. However, the pet door has been the portal to floor covering shenanigans in the most interesting way.
Because that's where the Pinecone Assassin slinks to and fro about its grisly business.
Every single day I wander out into my kitchen upon waking and there is a fresh pinecone carcass fouling my linoleum. As I take in the cone shards that are scattered savagely about, I pause in remembrance of the potential tree that could have been, its possible life stolen from it by the savage Pinecone Assassin's ill will. It's quite tragic.
It's also quite tragic that I have to clean up the remains!
What's even more scary, is that the pinecone assassinations is a generational thing now! I know this because the volume of murdered pinecones littering my floor has increased over the years. I can just imagine the scene, Grandma and grandchild slinking out the pet door to the closest pine tree and savagely attacking innocent cones all for the pleasure of having something to bat around on my clean floor.
I mean, right now as I type this, I am reasonably sure I will open my bedroom door and be faced with a scene of cone slaughter as I step out to face the day!
On the plus side, I suppose I should be grateful. Instead of small animal carcasses littering my home, I am instead getting pre-tree carcasses, but I gotta say my friends, it's just a bit on the weird side. Like, what are the Pinecone Assassins end goals? Are they working in conjunction with the squirrels and trying to turn my home into a cache? Are they running a psy-op on me and seeing how long it will take me to crack?
Well, the joke's on them, I cracked long ago.
Seriously though, do any of your pets bring cones in the house and murder them? Over the years it has brought me no end of amusement, but also it's more than a bit odd because the elders have taught the youths the pinecone assassination behavior.
Maybe my cats just really care about my cardiovascular fitness. Yes! That is how I am going to frame this abundance of murdered pinecones in residence! My cats really love me and want me to stay healthy for the long haul, so they keep me fit by adding cardio via excessive sweeping to my routine. I'm sure they have no malevolent intent at all. Right?
Aren't delusions grand!😁 Happy Caturday to you all!!
You have quite a beautiful family of cats!😻
The first photo looks like a dead ringer for my boy Cot, that we call the “ baby mountain lion” Lol!😻
Our two boys don’t bring pinecones inside, they are inside only furry children, but they have a toybox and they drag stuffed mice out all over the house!😺
Aww, thank you😊, Cot sounds like such a lovely boy, I adore tabby cats!
And I am super thankful that your feet only get to step on the squishiness of the stuffed mice instead of the serrated edges of the pine cones lol lol!
!PIZZA
Ouch……😺
I won’t tell Cot…… I don’t want to give him any ideas Lol!😻
Cones? Nope, too many other things for my cats to play with: cat mint (close relatvie of catnip, but not quite as strong), dragonflies, June beetles, snakes, chipmunks... and those are things they don't eat! Then again, I don't have cats in my house anymore. This one won't even come in the house even if I invite her:
Maybe it's because the house still smells like Princess Lili, even though she died three years ago.
Such a gorgeous gray floof you got there😌
The other day Meatball brought in a gigantic, wriggly earthworm, which he proudly batted around our feet as we played a game of MTG Commander. I definitely didn't make a comprehensive list of what comes in the dog door, but I gotta say, the dragonfly and snakes must have been interesting lol!
!PIZZA
I think as long as you have cats you have cats in that house, it may not be clean just like how you want it
Agreed lol! But I love the cats so it's worth it!
!PIZZA
I think this post is really cool and your pineapple assassin actually cares about you, maybe it's because he sees you as too idle... although the idea that he's in cahoots with the squirrels isn't that far-fetched. 🤣
Squirrels and cats in cahoots could possibly spell the end of us all...lol!
!PIZZA
Happy Caturday! !BBH
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And a very meowtastic and happy Caturday to you!!
!PIZZA
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Your cats are beyond crazy. Mine have never brought anything into the house except the occasional mouse, sometimes dead and sometimes alive. I'd rather deal with pinecones; they stay in one room and don't chew into bags of food staples and poop in the pantry.