I am Tired... On Being a Social Introvert

in Rant, Complain, Talk2 months ago

pexels-magda-ehlers-1301410 (1).jpg

Today I am tired. Very tired.

I am pretty sure that it mainly has to do with the last handful of days. My brother and his girfriend visited me and my twin sister, here in central Portugal and they spent 4 nights at my place. We spent those 5 days together, 24/7, and at least half of that time at my twin sister's place, with my extremely sweet but high energy niece, nephew and ( when he wasn't working ) my brother in law.

Although it was fun, I felt drained after returning home, yesterday night, and even more tired this morning.

Then, for coffee and early lunch, I spent two hours with my neighbor. And, afterwards, I reached out to a bunch of people by phone and different messaging apps.

It's now the end of the day and I don't feel less tired. I also didn't really rest today, eventhough I needed it and sure had the chance to do so.

A couple of hours ago, my twin sister called me to ask whether I can kid sit my niece and nephew tomorrow afternoon ( I already did so, yesterday afternoon ) and although I explained to her how tired I felt and tried to get her to find a plan B ( where B doesn't stand for brother ), this didn't work and I sacrificed myself for the greater good. In other words, I will go over to her place again, tomorrow, and kid sit my niece and nephew for an hour or 5.

Sometimes I think I am to good for this world ;<)

In line with all of the above - and getting to know myself better and better at the ripe ago of 40 - I want to turn your attention to this write up by @danielapevs that I can very much relate to. She seems to have figured all of this out a lot earlier than I myself did and I congratulate her with that.

The Life of an Introvert

Like her, I need people around me, regularly, but this also drains me, as I tend to give myself 100% to others and usually don't leave enough energy for myself to function properly.

So, after a while, I really need to recharge again, by being alone.

I sometimes wonder if this is the reason for me having been single most of my life, eventhough I feel and many people say, that I would be the ideal son-in-law and a great dad or partner.

This running out of energy tends to happen to me, over and over again and if I'm not careful, it can really burn me out. This sure happened, a bunch of times before, in the many jobs that I've had, in the past. Although, back then, I had no idea that it might have had to do with introvertedness. It depressed me. It probably didn't help that many people take my talkativeness as being social ( I like to think I am social ) and extraverted, something I might have copied from my twin sister, who is definitely an extraverted person, unlike me. She, though, seems to get energized by having people around her, all the time. Or, at least, most of the time.

I am gonna end this here, as I am still very tired and I need to chill and rest to be a chill enough babykidsitting uncle tomorrow.

What about you? Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extravert and if so, can you relate to this? Also, if you're an introvert, what are your tricks to deal with tiredness? How do you prevent yourself from draining your batteries, over and over again?

22% ( my favorite number ) of the payout to this post will go to @danielapevs

The image above it comes from Pexels and has been taken by Magda Ehlers.


I think we all have degrees of intro and extra. You and I aren't so much introverted as we can talk 🦜 alot to people and adore it, just we need to charge our batteries more than other people and the only way to do that is to be alone. I think we are TOO switched on when in company and that's exhausting.

Plus as creatives I think our brains need space to do what they do.

I never feel exhausted WITH my husband and the best thing about a partner is that you don't feel drained in THEIR company and if you need alone time you can say it without offending them. Well, it took Jamie a few years to realise it wasn't him and now he's fine. I just say babe shut the fuck up, I need space. Ahahah well I am more polite about it, as I want to stay married. I even sleep in a separate room. But we snuggle each morning in bed together.

Don't let your hyposensitive soul get in the way of a great love affair. 💕

 2 months ago  

I couldn't say it any better. You and I are so alike.

Don't let your hyposensitive soul get in the way of a great love affair. 💕

I kind of hoped to hear this. Thank you for reading the small printand telling me this. I know 'she' is out there, somewhere ;^)

Indeed. And with her you will feel calm, energized, and after twenty years of marriage, slightly insane ...

 2 months ago  

People are definitely draining! I’m glad that you are close with your sister and brother, and family! I want that but sadly a discussion for another day.

It seems to work for you and there’s nothing wrong with being the uncle that the family needs instead of trying to get into what may be a likely path for most people, family kids etc. I thankfully don’t feel the need for the recharge and isolation but my wife does, so I know the struggle lol. I love being around people!

 2 months ago  

I want that but sadly a discussion for another day.

I see.

Yeah, having my twin sister and her family close by sure makes a difference. We moved to Portugal, around the same time, a little over four years ago. I also have a brother and sister in The Netherlands.

I also love being around other people but I just can't do it all the time, being highly sensitive to energy and all. I'm sure your wife understands :<)

I can relate - I am very "needy" in the way that I am energized by social interaction, but I also need space to "recover" from it. I think the interaction gives me food for thought (energy) and the space is my digestive system, processing it into something usable, that then provides the energy to interact again (hunt) for more energy :)

 2 months ago  

I definitely also need interaction. Can't live without it but I also need a lot of 'inter' time inbetween all the action ;>)

I like how you describe this process that you yourself go through. Humans sure are incredible beings, no matter how difficult we make it for ourselves and each other.

I can so relate to this Vincent. I love to be around people,but just not all of the time. I need time to myself, a place where I can shut the door and the world out while I recharge.
It's so important to know our limits and yes we are all different. I so long for my space after being out all day.
Look after yourself my friend xxxx

 2 months ago  

Gracias, amiga!

I knew you would get it
and I know it can't be easy, taking care of three kids, solo, no matter how sweet they are.

I am doing better already, eventhough I am still tired. I feel the fatigue is a symptom of a way deeper process / trauma that will take a long time to unravel but I will get there, eventually.

Un abrazo xx

It's funny, the number 22 is a number that I always have it present everywhere, whenever I see the time it's 22:22, my position on the travel buses is 22, my flight number was 22 and every time I see a graffiti or car plate, I see a 22 on it. Now, in your post, you have earmarked 22% of the payment for me and I can't be more flattered that it is your favorite number.

The introvert's life is pretty tough especially when the vast majority of your family is extroverted (which I am). Sleeping for hours is not enough rest, we always recharge in our own company, inhibiting all possible social activity for a few days hahaha.

Fortunately I have made my family aware of the fact that I am introverted and they have understood that my remoteness is due to the fact that I simply need to recharge my batteries to continue with them. I hope that at least the visit to your niece and nephew tomorrow will bring you a little bit of peace and rest.

-- Abrazo! Gracias por todo 💙

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 2 months ago  

Hurray! Thanks for this encouraging and motivational reminder :^)

You're welcome @vincentnijman, that's a real pleasure to count you as a member all this time 😊🌹
We hope to see you many more years here!!!

I don't let my batteries drain much, I'm always quick to go home and don't do more than I can handle.

I understand that I'm not one that likes to be around people for long and I'm very unapologetic about it. It's obvious even to people who just meet me. Everyone will be fine.