Hello Steemians, how are you all? I hope that after last’s lesson/joke you are all in good spirits.
Today I wanted to talk about something that I’ve never been able to truly understand all throughout my life, and I qualify it as a mystery!
Let’s continue! I saw hundreds of people along my journey always choosing the wrong path, always turning the wrong way by choice even if their road leads them to the abyss, financial or otherwise.
Just to be clear about my opinion, especially for those who are new to this blog. I separate my life between my artistic career, that I started very young in my life, and my entrepreneurial life, that came later on. If you read my earlier posts I’ve shared all the ways that they relate to each other.
To be concise, I had the opportunity to train thousands of people directly, and the last ten years of my life I’ve spent doing presentations for possibly more than half a million people all over my home country.
An important detail is that the experience gives me a profound understand of people, I learned a lot and if you read my story you will know that I’ve been inside different social and business circles. I’ve played soccer with friends inside a favela and I’ve shared drinks with CEOs.
This was very important for me, and as I’ve shared on my other posts, I never really had a one on one mentor per say. I literally had to break my bones alone, and of course made mistakes as I’ve discussed before.
But when I was in the midst of training people, I discovered an interesting fact of about 90% of them. They ask for advice, because they need help and they are not doing well, but do the complete opposite and not pay attention at all.
I remember this one time this person I was mentoring called me to get some guidance on his finances, he had made some mistakes and he was not doing well. He had debts he could not pay, so it was very urgent for him to get his cash flow in check.
I do need to visit the cash flow idea with a lot more detail, since it’s not common knowledge, and it will require quite a bit of explaining.
But continuing my story..
I told this person about a possible solution, and gave him tasks to perform, step by step and to be quick about it so that it would work out.
Two weeks later I get a phone call, this person is complaining about everything. I asked him if he had done as I said, and he replied telling me he did not like my idea to begin with.
So I asked him, why would he waste my time asking for help? He answered because I had more experience. So I said: “that makes no sense… You understand that I know more about the subject that you, then why do you not follow it?”
Something that happens a lot is that people tend to think that our parents are all knowing, and ask them for advice on everything. For example, How much sense does it make to ask your parents for Entrepreneurial advice, if they’ve been employees all their lives? They can love you, but not know how to advice you. Their advice is always going to be based on opinions and good intentions, not in facts and experience.
In other words, advice given by people who have not experienced the situation are not very valuable. They are based in opinions and hypothesis, and if you ask for opinions from everyone you might drive yourself crazy.
Continuing the story, the person of course agreed with me and told me he would do as I said. I had guaranteed him it would work, as I had done this myself countless of times before.
A week later, he calls me telling me he had done it, and I asked him: “Ok, so what happened now? - But then he told me, he had executed the plan different from what I had said. In frustration I asked why, as he was explaining his variance, and just told me that he found it more effective this way.
I lost my patience at that point and said to him: “Listen friend, I understand you want to use your head to get out of this situation, but it was your way of thinking that got you into trouble in the first place, and you are trying to use the same way of thinking to get out?”
He sat there and thought it through: “Yes, It's true, I could be acting like a mule”
I continued: “It’s not a maybe, you are! Because I gave you the perfect plan and you chose to take a gamble, and you keep on making the mistakes over and over”
“Now there is something that really bothers me, on top of you not listening to advice, you are also taking up my time. I should be spending my time with people that sincerely want my help”
He apologized embarrassed, promised to listen and left.
Three months later we spoke, he had solved his problems and he had done exactly as I had told him to get out of the situation.
That is why I call this situation a mystery, because I don’t understand how people can act like this irrationally, of course I’ve thought of some ideas but I will leave those for a separate post.
This is the question I want to leave with you today:
“Why make the mistake, when someone else already did?”
I swear I think i know the answer to these questions now, after dealing with thousands of people. But I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter.
Now I do want to say that I’m not the owner of the truth, I’m just sharing my experience in hopes that you all find it valuable for your own lives.
Remember: I would be grateful if you understood the importance of resteem these posts to build a community with a positive mindset. This is my greatest goal here and you who accompany me know! This is my greatest truth and I do with my heart. Many of these information that are useful to you may be important to other people who need information for your personal growth and that is the most important thing to achieve any goal in your life and remember: Give a upvote between you who take the time to comment and discuss constructively. This has happened here and I am very glad to see you helping each other.
A big hug for everyone, I’ll see you on the next chapter
Follow - @chbartist
Dear sir!
I am much impressed by your behavior and character more than your article. It is your generosity that you always look forward to sharing your experience with everyone,so that other people can benefit from it. The true advice can be given to the same person who has knowledge and experience in that subject matter.I want to mention about the person who had asked for advice on the loss of business, and you gave the correct advice, but he did not follow your advice. Because of which he had to be ashamed twice.A person does not want to adopt a permanent and successful path. That is why knowing that you are so experienced, he did not follow your guidelines properly. Advice should always be taken from the experienced person.On this subject you have presented a good example of parents. Always look forward to receiving knowledge and experience wherever available.
I have tried to answer the question you left below-
Therefore, people repeat the mistakes that they do not take advice from a person with a specialist and experience. If we take advice from a person with the right experience, then the chances of repeating the mistakes remain low. As the person doing damage to the business had consulted with you, but did not follow the things you said, because of which he repeated the mistake twice.
Regards.Have a nice morning.☕
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Dear sir!
Don't ashame me saying sorry.no need to apologise sir.
I can understand that we are human.sorrow, happiness and problems are the main part of our life .we cannot so for from it.
Beside its, there are our personal life and be must have to give some time to them.
With much love <3. Regards
Believe me you are a great appreciator.
Thank you!
Hmm, maybe we repeat others mistakes because we think too highly of ourselves. We are quick to see faults in others, but when it comes to ourselves we tend to easily overlook them. This can lead to the mentality of "that won't happen to me."
Perfect, wait for the second part. It's a post about the conclusions that I could understand better over time. Regards
Nice
Its the ego of a person which won’t accept better advice from others.
Waiting for the next part
Yes! Its the ego of a person which won’t accept better advice from others. Have a nice day!
As far as I can understand, you are dealing many subjects with people, I think there are two types of people one is very clever other is foolish, clever one comes to some one to make him fool, foolish one goes to many people to have the advice, at last none of advices works well. Thanks for your excellent writing, it's very very useful to our society.
Thank you for always making very constructive comments and understanding what I am trying to do here. Regards
What I think on your question is that. We love to get advices from the people who knows the solution but the condition which they are suffering from is big for them and there mind is unable to listen the advices of a mentor. We can understand this way thinking that very person think that they can handle any situation. And that’s the biggest problem is because the mentor not to the no. Of pepper we trust our brain is in under pressure they trust him or not and here they make mistakes.
And again it’s an great lesson for all who is reading this. Thanks for sharing your views and thoughts about this
Thank you, friend!
Wow.. This is so true, it is suprising how people can be so irrational. Where i come from, you can find such people in every three persons you come accross, they rely so much on traditional knowledge and personal instincts and this has built their mindset on the negative making it very difficult for them to thrive in a more social society.
I appreciate that idea “Why make the mistake, when someone else already did?”
It is spelt out very well. Words i will always live with.
Good morning @chbartist ,choosing right path is really very much difficult but not impossible.
you said it right that we need to get advice from those people who have the experience. No doubt that people without experience can't give the perfect advice.if someone don't follow after taking advice then their is no need to ask for advice.
Have a good day from @coolguy222
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I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Our parents, they love us, and in areas in which they are inexperienced,Their advice is always going to be based on opinions and good intentions, not in facts and experience. I like that statement. But for those who would seek advice from an experience person in a particular field and chose to do a different thing, they thought that in addition to your advice they might have discovered something new or a little different which they would want to try and hit a success that will most likely surpass what anyone has achieved on that field, that is why they would keep asking for advice and keep doing something different not knowing what they were doing was not a little different but far far different from what they were advised.
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
You are absolutely right ... the person who can best advise in a situation, is the one who has already gone through this situation. Someone who has not gone through there, can hardly give a correct advice, maybe I could only give theoretical advice ...
Taking advantage of the subject, I would like you to advise me in the matter of cryptocurrencies, how to invest, if it is not too much trouble. I think you have a lot of experience about it... If you can, you tell me to
I leave my mail or my discord. thanks in advance.😊
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
so I have been in recent days. busy. that understood. :)... I don't know if you read what I you wrote?
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Alot of issues go on in the mind of a frustrated person who needs answers to questions.
The ability to calm the person down and advice the person is a plus .Psychologically, we tend to be skeptical about advices on first counts but we take it in the long run.this is truely a mistery
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
No worries bro i understand
Thank you for sharing this experience. It made me think about the phenomenon that for example people that just left the prison tend to do everything to find a way into prison again. Why? Because it's a known and safe environment for them.
I think here is the problem and even I, knowing this, am not immune to this. Solving problems means to get in motion. That is, sometimes, out of the well known comfort zone. And that's why people tend to ask for help and then go on like "nah, it'll solve itself"
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
I think it requires great humility to do exactly as the advice you received.
I heard a great story, that supports what you say: a guy wrote a book, but did not manage to sell it. He had given up on that. But his wife heard about a guy called Mark Dawson, who helps people to self publish their books. She challenged him to try it and in the end he wanted to prove to her that it would not work.
So instead of giving it his own twist, he simply did exactly what the advice of Mark Dawson said. The best way to prove to his wife that it would not work. Except, it was working well. He quickly started earning hundreds of dollars from his book on Amazon.
After that he tried some ideas of his own, that absolutely did not work. So in the end he decided he would not try to be smarter than his teacher, but simply do as he says.
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
No problem mate, real life is important 👍
I've been in this situation and it is so frustrating... Coz you sacrificed your time and effort but won't follow any of it and in the end you are the one to be blamed.... Aside from EGO... that person doesn't trust you....and the question is.... Why ask advice on ways to solve it then not trust that person..... Crazy but reality....
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Being the youngest in the family by a number of years helped me learn from other mistakes but like others mention here, the ego is your worst enemy. Thanks for sharing!
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Upon reading your story a lot of thoughts got in my mind. I understand why you react in that way but I also understand why your friend came up in that decision instead of following your plan.
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
No right or wrong path in my opinion, just choose the one that feels right at the time :-)
Es cierto que en la vida nos encontramos con personas que están en algún problema y acuden a nosotros porque tengamos más experiencia que ellos y que a pesar de nosotros darles el mejor de los consejos (porque nosotros ya hemos pasado por ahí) suelen hacer lo que bien le parece, ignorando nuestro consejo. No se dan cuenta que sin lugar a duda, volverán a equivocarse. Es como si ellos pensaran que lo saben todo.
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Hi friend @chbartist well said. Same happened with me many times. I have gone through many different situations in life and got success in few and got failed too. So when people ask for my advice for those particular things, i always advice them the best but don't know why they follow as i advised. They don't even tell me unless they get losses or stuck in problem. I advice people the way to do things so that they don't face the problems i had to face but most of them don't follow.
I know many people who do wrong but just get highlighted and later they regret it. I think its human tendency in many people that they listen everyone's advice but do whatever they want to do. Have a great time friend. Take care.
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I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
No worries friend. I understand that sometimes we get stuck in something and getting time to respond is not possible. Its @chbartist family and we understand it. Have a great weekend.
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Maybe your friend does not have enough trust in your help. And when they have enough time they will feel the seriousness of you.
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Don't worry, I understand.
We believe we are born differently, thats why we always want to do things our way even when we are told otherwise. We also feel dump when we have to follow instructions to the letter, and often feel we cant think for ourselves .
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
I think they are not in the state to believe a mentor or guiding person
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
We consider myself very smart but indeed we are not. We need experienced people like you. We should search good people who can give good advice. Am i right?
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Any way people use to think differently from the right solution to their problem even when someone has shown them the way the out. This is because they believe on self that might not work out at all time. I wish I have a good mentor that can inform me before the problem comes.
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
But in reality after a long mile of walking we realise that the path we have choose is wrong. Because there is a lack of proper guidance and counseling.
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
Perhaps one would like to venture and have a pride when he succeeded. But wisdom gained from experience cannot be surpassed.
Exactly! You understood the message as I really wanted to convey. Regards
I grew up playing with dirt and mud so go left is a no brainer. More sloshing and sticky mud to keep your mind distracted. Next thing you know, you hit a dry pavement. Boredom starts...
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
We follow other people to succeed in haste, although they are not successful all the time, they succeed only a few times, we should contemplate it with the help of our soul, mind and consciousness and then take a decision.
It's a good concept. Regards
Yes! Your words means alot.
Along with that I think everyone chose everything more according to their nature and subconscious mind as if they make that decision quickly.
But the lesson in your article is worth commenting on it! Keep sharing such a beautiful thoughts and Thank you for this one.
Thank you for your kind words. Regards
You are always welcome! BTW thank you for your kind response.
I'll look forward to see more articles from your blog.
From my past experience, If I realize that I have taken a wrong path which ends up in no good...I still dont crib and go straight without looking back. Its good to be cautious the next time instead of worrying about the past decisions.
Exactly! Have a good day!
I would like to apologize for not responding properly to you in the last few days but I have actually been in a very busy week but I thank everyone for the comments and thank you for sharing and participating in our discussion. Regards
True words
i felt that your words came from the heart
Thank you =)
You can be sure that they came. Regards
You choose the road?
Heaven and hell close together with a very delicate border. We just need a false thought, we have crossed that boundary
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Different choices often lead to the same pathway....
Hi @chbartist!
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:) gonna peruse this later. This is what I am looking for.
Our paths are what they are. I wouldnt assume people are choosing the wrong “path” because you would do otherwise. Sounds arrogant
I respect what you said but I think you did not understand the post either and neither did you read the post before that. I clearly say that I am not the owner of the truth and besides that I just shared thousands of experiences that I lived. If sharing life experience is arrogance for you ..... I wish the best for you
Your post had been curated by the @buildawhale team and mentioned here:
https://steemit.com/curation/@buildawhale/buildawhale-curation-digest-10-18-18
Keep up the good work and original content, everyone appreciates it!
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