Hey, am I Longneck?
Longneck had wheeled his chair over to mine and was staring at me accusingly.
Eh? Beat it, I am kinda busy.
I made a shooing motion with my hand without looking up from the glorious array of numbers that I was magicking into a pie chart in excel.
Astonishingly, I was busy. Someone had asked for some numbers and insisted on them being in Excel as if we were back in the nineties. I had asked one of our outsourced colleagues to do it but after them asking me a million times how to do it I realised I would be far quicker just doing it myself.
No, I will not beat it! You said it in an email... a group email. You said 'Longneck will send the TDD over'?!
Longneck made a face like one of those fish that live at the bottom of the sea that die when you pull them up to the surface to laugh at them.
Surreptitiously, I leaned on one cheek to let out a little arse-champagne. Did you send it over? They wanted it sharpish. It was my turn to sound squirrely. If we didn't send the Americans shit they tended to down tools for a day and start babbling about the viability of the contract. Wanks that they were. Of course I sent it over. If we don't send them shit they down tools because they are wanks??! Longneck cast a stink eye in the general direction of America. Well if you sent it then what is the problem? I was feeling a tinge of impatience like a clown with a knife hiding in a closet waiting for someone to go to sleep. The problem?! The PROBLEM?! You said LONGNECK?! Longneck's exceedingly long neck was bulging and red as if he had drunk some Michigan water. I glanced up from my pie chart and tittered. Fucking hell, who shat in your handbag? Calm down. I turned back to the pie chart and wondered if I should make it 3D or not. Today was obviously going to be a day of big choices. But why? Why am I Longneck? Why would you say that? He looked both perplexed and confused as if he was a dog that someone had shouted gay at from their car as they drove past because he was chewing a rubber bone. I pulled my laptop closed so that no one would see my pie before it was ready and tutted. Really? Why do you think I would call you Longneck? I gazed intently into Longneck's eyes. I don't know? It's fucking rude?! I still don't get it but it's rude?! His hands curled into fists as if he wanted to either murder me or urgently milk a cow. Oh for fuck sake man. It's just a nickname, you know because of your really long neck? I waved at his swannish neck region. My neck isn't long? Is it? It's not? Longneck stood up uncertainly. Don't call me that again. It's not professional. He wandered away rubbing his neck like a magic lamp. Nearby, Bernie the Woman sniggered. I hope you haven't got a nickname for me? She laughed as if imagining such preposterousness. I do actually. You are Bernie the Woman. I smiled widely at her as I said it. Her face fell as she processed what I had said. Bernie, the woman? But my name's not even Bernie? She frowned like Meghan Markle hearing a dog bark. I chortled happily. Exactly my dear!
If you lean in just the right way you don't get the pop - you see?
Note: Not all Americans are wanks.
Honest.
I mean it.
You coined it arse-champagne I liked it, still chuckling, absolutely fantabulous!
Be mindful in an office of letting them slip out.... the nicknames!
I shall be keeping a tighter reign on them in future! But might let the odd one slip out... The nicknames! :OD
Thinking is one thing, saying a totally different game. One comes to mind, Dipshit = strut around boss.... sent on loan, no interest charged.... 🙃
Yes indeed, sportiness it's a case of knowing when you can and can't!
😅have a great weekend.
You too lass!
LOL! I have nicknames for some people, but tend not to let them know that. There are some characters at parkrun whose real names I don't know, so need something to keep track of them.
One day Hive will be massive and people you know will see your posts.
BTW I have quite a long neck :)
I didn't want to say 😉
If hive gets big enough I will stop posting or just start done generic nonsense!!
I have to have nicknames for people or I forget who they are!
LOL.. easier to see things with!
Handy at standing gigs :)
Excel spreadsheets will be the reason why I never get my work done 😂. I wish I had the skill, or rather patience to learn it. I know my way around and can do the basics since I use it for GIS (mapping). But sometimes I just want to smack the computer 😂
I would smack it. Sometimes I think it is the only thing that computers understand :OD
You should have asked him if he preferred Deepthroat instead of Longneck
!pimp
You have to be careful when you ask that just in case they say AYE!
You must be killin' it out here!
@davedickeyyall just slapped you with 1.000 PIMP, @meesterboom.
You earned 1.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 1/2 possible people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
Just one slip and the whole workforce will know about these terrible stories about them, how do you keep it all in?
Lol, I have been slipping of late I think. I keep mentioning nicknames I have come up with in my head.
Must reign it in!
😂
Nicknames. How do think I chose my username?
Now there's a tough one... Let me see... Lucky Irishness!
I don't have that problem anymore. Someone took all the goddamn names.
They took em and more there are... @nonameslefttouse
How are ya man!
Oh I'm fine, all things considered, including the lack of names.
You want to start a name library or summat. Get people to start borrowing them for a fee. Could be a market there!
Good idea. Better create the tokens one will need in order to buy the tokens yet to be created that'll cover borrowing fees until I rugpull.
You need those tokens defintootly. Make sure to keep 90% of the initial mint for development so you can sell them at the first opportunity
I was thinking 80% but yeah, you're probably right. That won't be enough "development."
If longneck sent off TDD over, then why did he ask if it was him? So tactless. I would have just relaiated with my own nickname?
The big question is was it a slip of the keyboard, or did you intentionally want to spiral longneck into a bout of insecurity over the weekend? I suggest getting him some ice cream to soothe the burns on his long neck - reasoning is supplied in case he asks what is it for.
!PIZZA !LOL
It was sheer Friday flippantry!
I thought he might have laughed. He is actually a terrible person for making fun of others. Seems to be a bit think skinned though!!
LOL then why take such offence? If you can't laugh at yourself, hey, life would be dull. I take it back, don't buy him ice cream. I nice pollar neck top should get him going.
Maybe a cloak and he can do a Nosferatu dance. Definitely not an ice cream!!
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I think people get too hung up on these nicknames, especially Longneck, which doesn't sound terrible. I've heard a lot worse, just keep living, man.
I thought it was quite tame myself. It could have been far worse!! :0D
It certainly is. We called a friend of ours a grasshopper because he was afraid of grasshoppers hahaha.
Haha, we called a friend Spiderman because he was scared of spiders. I love a bit of humorous name calling!
Longneck. 😂 The simple ones are the funniest.
I know. Sometimes you have to keep it basic ;0D
Heh heh as usual I had a big laugh!
What happened to you, your posts were missing like vegemite on bread!
However in the never region, Calabria, nicknames are very usual; sometimes they are passed down for generations.
Usually when you give a nickname here you highlight either a physical characteristic, good or bad, or perhaps a character trait.
I would give you a few nicknames but in our dialect they would be really difficult to pronounce eh eh!
I make a simple and easy to pronounce one, I have a friend we call "U russu" which in Italian would be red, obviously due to the color of his hair... you say it's not so obvious, mmmm yes, it's possible ;- )
I like the simple ones that describe a person well.
I think that's why I looked longneck so much!
I was out of the game for a while as I was really busy in work then busy blooming decorating in the house. I was getting worried like a dog!! :0)
Well luckily you're back; for heaven's sake work first of all of course!
But what world would it be without Mesterboom???😉
It would be boomless!!
I will be getting back on track, I am almost certain!
Remove the almost and we agree!😉
Dammit, consider it removed!!!
Agreed!! 🙂🙂
Yeahhhh🤟🤟🤟
I think that let alone Excel, computers were not widespread in 90s. Therefore, numbers were mostly in MS-DOS, at least in my country😁
I can't remember that far back so have to take a while stab of a guess!! Lolz 😀
🤣 would they rather you use their real names when you write about them?
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Lord knows what they would think if they knew I wrote about them too!! :0D
It would make for an interesting meeting 🤣🤣🤣
I would probably run through a wall to escape like a cartoon!!
🤣 do you have a Sylvester, Wile E. Coyote, or Elmer Fudd there at work?!?!
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What is a TDD?
A Technical Design Document!! A much loved thing in my work. Also known as a total drama doc 😀😀
ahhh! that explains it 👍
We friends also have Nick names for each other and one of us has a friend who falls a lot so we take a lot of it. My friends also call me Nickname but I never cared. Talking with friends is time well passed and not even noticed. The way we saw that a few days ago the market was a bit bullish so there was a lot of upside in the hive.
I think nicknames among friends are great. I have a nickname among my friends which I really like and always smile when one of them uses it
Corporate America is infested by wanks. The bureaucracy draws them like flies to cow shit. And I would love to see the workplace reaction to everything you write here with nicknames and worse!
I think the day that someone in a position of influence in my place finds my blog is the day I will be walking out the door escorted by security carrying a little cardboard box!
Better to carry a cardboard box than be carried in a pine box!
That is sone spot on philosophy!! 🙂
Lol in an email 🤣
My wife likes coming up with nicknames. I suck at it though.
It's always better written down. It looked great saying Longneck will send it. 🤣🤣
I love nicknames, I have a knack😀
My wife is good at it too. But she is always on my case to give her one. I never have. Lol. She changes mine monthly - or used to anyway lol
Crikey she sounds like me. My missus is always laughing at the ever changing nicknames I give everyone that lives in this house!
Yeah that sounds very similar lol 😆
Are the names for your family members as witty as the ones for your coworkers?
I think they are better because I can say them out loud a lot more and riff on them!
Nice! that's a perk for sure
In reality, the man in question has such a long neck, I imagine him with a neck like a swan haaaaa don't let my imagination run wild haaaaaa, well I already imagined it, you should be more subtle and not call him that, better call him elegant neck :)
Hehe, if it was elegant then maybe I would, Its just freaky! :OD
Growing up, everyone had a nickname, didn't they? Everyone in my family had a nickname, to this day, I might use one now and again, especially when we are all together.
Longneck is so tame, I cannot believe he would complain! I would take it and smile. Bernie the Woman! She just had to ask!!! Why??????
Of course, it is very unprofessional. Does he really know you??
He does know me indeed. He just hates not being the joker. He is practically the office clown at times. Which is why I love teasing the twit. The things he has called other people are ridiculous!
I didn't have a nickname till I was in my twenties! I think I was one of the very few not to. I think it means I like my nickname all the more though! :O)
Yanks are wanks! lols
I couldnt find any nicknames for you all tho...😁
I am sure there are many! We love yanks really. Just the ones I am working with dont love us!
Hahaha.... Very funny asking and answering the questions herself 😂
That was a beautiful piece.. nicely written
Thank you very much!
You're welcome
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hahaha no you are not long neck ;) My brother also got a nick name of "kannu" , the person with big ears :D but that was a long time ago.
He will be glad to have grown out of that one!
I'll just let you keep it simple. I'm Old cunt. I still use MS Publisher....seriously. Thirty years and counting!
The best reply they could come back with was 'It's not professional'? Oh dear, No office for old men it seems.
MS Publisher! Lol, that brings back memories! That is indeed old school. Sometimes though, when you have something that works and works the way you like it then you should absolutely stick with it. I still use an old version of photoshop that may have been slightly ahem free :OD before all their cloud nonsense
It was a lame one. I laughed at the sheer ineptitude of it!
That free version PS CS6 is also still used here too! Wife won't pay for anything. At the IT malls here, on the scary and dark 4th floor, you can still buy DVDs of absolutely anything, cracked and installed. There's stuff I haven't even heard of! When you buy a laptop, even from a big chain store, they ask if you want to 'go upstairs' and they'll set it up with anything you want for a tenner !
The Publisher use came about in the early 90s because I couldn't afford the 500quid for PageMaker . These days, I actually get Pub as part of my MS subscription so I keep on using it.
Over here, there are FB groups for sharing passwords for everything, of course the wife got caught out as her dodgy Google account with discount storage suddenly disappeared along with all her photos etc... She never listens but caring husband had backed it all up to one of his proper accounts. She doesn't know this yet as it will be used as a bargaining chip the next time I run out of beer ;-)
You and the family have a great weekend mate :-)
That sounds bloody awesome! We used to get all our dodgy cracked DVDs from a street market, the Barras. An absolute hole but full of dodgy contraband, lol.
And to think, people are freaking out over here that Netflix are banning the sharing of passwords. Sounds like they would go nuts over there!