Well my friends, this is it. Ben Nevis. The tallest mountain in Scotland, indeed, the tallest in the UK!
Everyone got out of the car and looked up at the not very impressive hill ahead of us.
Don't look like much.
The Little Lady kicked a stone and did her best to act like a bored teenager despite being two years away from such hilarity.
That's not actually it. You can't see it because it's behind that hill which is only half the size of it.
I checked the leaflet we had snaffled on the way in again. That didn't sound right.
For some twisted reason you can't see the taller peak of Ben Nevis behind this first hill from here. Even though it's twice the size...
I sounded slightly embarrassed, like a flat earther explaining why rivers can't flow north because it's up.
That doesn't make any sense. Why can't you see the taller mountain behind the small hill in front of it?
Fucking hell, even the Good Lady was getting in on the comedy how does the world work act.
I dunno, that's just what it says here? Anyway, enough moaning. We will be going right up this things chuff today.
I cocked a hand on my hip as if explaining to a traffic warden that he was actually a bastard.
Gift shop!!!!! GIFT SHOP!!!
The Little Boom tore off into the gift shop as far as his little legs could carry him.
Guys, we are on a schedule!?
I wailed as I trailed after them into the bowels of the shop.
I looked around in disgust, it was full of Scottish tat made in China. Highland cows of all descriptions, bags of fudge and bottles of shite whisky for the tourists.
Moo moo!
My fucking six year old child seemed to have regressed to a two year old and was clutching a squeezy highland cow.
I checked the label over.
Little guy, this is twelve pounds!? You can't get this. You don't have the money!?
And it's cheap shite I mumbled under my breath.
What? No! I want my moo moo!
The Little Boom squeezed the cow hard and part of it bulged out like a Spaniard's haemorrhoid after a curry.
Put it back dude. We are climbing Ben Nevis today not buying cheap tat.
Quite firmly, I put Moo Moo back and dragged everyone out of the gift shop.
We began our trek up the mountain.
The path changed from a track into a rough stony staircase.
This is the life, I thought. Look at these fucking views already!
I WANT MY MOO MOO!!
The Little Boom started crying and pulling at his mum's sleeve.
Come on little guy, let's get up this mountain and talk about Moo Moo when we get back?
I tried to reason with him because everyone knows that works with children.
After ten minutes of increasingly frantic screaming about the bastarding Moo Moo I gave up and took one last look at the view around us.
May as well go back down, this is murder.
The Good Lady nodded cheerfully almost as if she couldn't be arsed climbing a mountain and in fact it had all been crazy Daddy's idea and maybe there were far better things to do on a holiday.
We headed down.
Some would say that what followed was exceptionally bad parenting.
I tend to agree.
Mr. Moo Moo is cute alright, but those views are stunning. It's a fine line between satisfying ones own desires and keeping the young ones happy. The Little Boom won this time...good Daddy!
I know, I do waited to get the views of the lake up high but alas no! Still, everyone was relatively happy in the end!
I always wondered what a cow brain would look like if you stuffed it then glued some googly eyes on there.
Does it make a cool sound when you squeeze it?
It makes a satisfying sound which is hard to describe it also bulges alarmingly as if there are organs in there floating around in a rubber bubble of pain 😀😀
Those aren't organs. Those are its memories.
Does the sound at least resemble a "moo" of sorts or was there too much brain damage?
They could be a hint of mooing, or grunting. It's something almost subsonic. Echoes of what once was 😀😀
That's some solid moo moo lore. I like it. Better than what I had at first after staring and trying to figure things out. Initially I thought it looked like what happens when you shit in the same hole for five years. Then I noticed people calling it "cute" so kept my thoughts inside where they belong.
You know, maybe that's how they started AI by shitting in a hole for five years and seeing what comes out. Would explain a lot.
Let those thoughts spill out! Lest they ferment into something fizzy
Sometimes I think I'm AI, like now. Your response here is like a prompt. Enters my mind, I analyze things, and within seconds I think, "Moo juice."
Why moo juice? I don't know. What is moo juice?
Apparently it once existed but I don't think it's fizzy.
Ahh jealous. My favourite place in the world. Would you like to see my photo collection of Fort William railway station throughout the ages? Seriously lol oh and say hello to my dad. We dumped his ashes in the raging river at the bottom car park. Of course, it was windy and they are possibly covering half of North West Scotland!
Have a great trip, and stop moaning. Support the local visitors centre!....that cow is a bit poor though!
Right, back to sweating and being jealous ;-)
Hehe, oh hell we have been supporting the visitor centres of everywhere by buying all their tat!!!
I think I would like to see old fort William station photos! I do like it up this end. It is my favourite Scottish part. Coming up through Glen Coe then onto fort William and finally up the coast to Malaig. Top notch!!
I do find Scottish gift shops excel in tartan crap. It's a shame when there's some genuine crafts to be had.
Me and the missus did Ben Nevis many years ago (pre-kids) on a camping holiday. There was snow at the top and people were going up in flip-flops. It was too cloudy for a view, but I can tick off one Munro. On the way down my knees suffered a bit. I don't remember even seeing a gift shop that day.
Lol, it's a fine thing to do. I have done it once before and lived it because it was sunny and clear.
The gift shop is part of the visitor centre right at the start. And it's full of that tartan kak. There are so many good things too as you say that it's annoying they push all the twoddle at the tourists for a fast buck.
I remember going for a nice meal that evening in Fort William, with sore knees. I've had issues with them before when I did an Outward Bound in the Lake District. Going down hills is not good for them.
It's not, I get a terrible in my rights knee and was worried that even the little bit we did would hurt it.
Fort William is cool but a bit overpriced like everything up north. We had a nice pizza, I got outvoted for the Thai!
Maybe, but I think exceptionally good parenting would be to hold onto that Moo Moo. When he brings his first girlfriend over, pull it out and tell the story. That will revenge!
Hahaha, that's a good one. I think I might just do that. That Moo Moo is going nowhere!! 🤣🤣
I'm pretty sure that I, being the adult, wouldn't have been able to resist Moo Moo 😅😂 either.
The scenery is spectacular 👌🏻.
Missed the top, but you have a good story to tell his teenage friends in the future. 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's also being a good dad.🤭
By the way, Moo moo looks like something between cow and platypus, covered in spaghetti 🍝🤣 I love it 😂.
We will do the top one day I'm sure!!
I like your description of moomoo! It is very apt!
Oh nooooo you didn't make it to the top!?! It doesn't count if you don't summit LOL. Those are some great views. Looks really nice.
Kids don't get it, but they will one day.
Totally didn't make it!! I have done this one before with my mates and it's awesome at the top of your get the right weather.
Alas the family conquering will take a few years more I think!
I think hiking and nice scenic views are something that you appreciate more as you age. I remember as a kid not caring about such things and taking them for granted. Now I would kill for a great view. It might be something that your kids do with their mates when they are a bit older.
Yeah, when I was younger we toured up this way with our band and I can remember being quite dismissive of the nature/nice view parts of all of it. But now I'm like awesome!!!
If it works, it never stops.
THAT is what the fuss was about? 😂 Sheesh....
I enjoyed the photos you took, all green and lush. Of course if the view is the prize, I can understand why 6 doesn't get it, with or without the Moo Moo tantrum.
I hope there were still some fun parts.
I know, you think it works be something extra amazing and special and it's just a squishy stress toy type of thing!!!
There was lots of fun afterwards! Thankfully!
Ouch. You now have a story to pester him with though once he is an adult ;^)
I would have enjoyed that walk and view.
In fact, I already liked hikes as a little boy.
He will grow out of it.
Oh I will pester the life out of him with this one!! I know he will grow out of it. He mostly has but for some reason just took a mad benny for this cow!!! 😀
Let's hope he hasn't gotten himself a mad cow ;<)
One day his mad cow will come 🤣🤣
During this bull market or the next one?
Maybe this bull is the moo!
I think its height might be equal to that of the smallest mountains in Turkiye 😄
It's definitely not gigantic in the grand scale of mountains! Especially when you can walk a path up to the top!! 😀😀
I can't really blame the lad. That moo moo is pretty cute from a child's perspective. Shame they couldn't appreciate the awesome view yet though. Thanks for sharing these wonderful photos to us.
Hehe, I can't blame him either. It was starting to get hard going and I think everyone was getting a bit gnarly apart from me.
The cow is funny, it's not the worst thing he's had ever demanded!
I just hope they remember even a little of the sights when they get older. If the cow is the only thing he remembers, that would be unfortunate haha.
I think they will, they are having a ball generally. Just with some hiccups!!
There's no bad parenting. They don't know the real reason behind it.😊 At least the moo moo is cute.😄
I am consuming myself that the moo moo is cuter and not as cheap nonsense as I first thought it was! 🤣🤣
The more you look at the moo, you understand why it needs to be bought.😄😄
I am quite sorry on the beast now. It's almost like a cool stress toy!
I agree.😂😂 I'm sure it is willing to help. Have a great day ahead. Enjoy your vacation with your family.😊
Cheers! We are aiming to do our utmost to enjoy!
I hope you and your family achieve it.😊
Marvelous greenery there, And good job taking a firm stance and never ever buying any stupid plastic cows pictured at the end of the post.
Never should a plastic cow be purchased has always been a motto of mine. Or rather, maybe it should be!! 😀
I love that picture of the pathway. It looks like Mt. Doom or something out of Middle Earth. I half expect to see Trolls pouring out of those folds in the mountains ready to devour approaching visitors, especially the more plump, tasty, and delectible Sott-Itch. I hear thems good eatin! You can almost hear them asking, "how shall we season MEESTERBOOM?" :)
source
Then they world realise meesterboom needs no seasoning, he's salty enough!!
We got challenged by a sheep!
I hear him bleating: "You Shall Not Pass!" lol
I thought similar!! I had my sturdy boots on though, he had no chance!
Hahahaha... conquering that mountain takes a bit more preparation, that's how I see it. I think you didn't have all the supplies because you didn't give the Moo Moo to the kid at the time. 😂 Or should you be thankful for that? maybe... hahaha
Globalisation! 🤣
Us Scottish only need some sweets and water to get up a mountain. Or a moo moo too obviously 🤣🤣
😁
I knew the vacation was destined for disaster the minute I read that you left without the toy! Too bad you didn't get to finish your climb 😢
This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project
It had a ropy start but once we got further up north it started to improve dramatically!! 😀😀
.Greetings @meesterboom ,
The lead is so scary-looking I could hardly bring myself to open the post.
What a lovely post it is....lovely photographs looking ever so professional.
With regard to the Moo-Moo...at least it is a Highlander! Sweet!
Kind Regards to you and your good lady,
Bleujay
The moo moo was indeed a Highlander! There are silver linings in everything!! 😀
I remember when I did it with my Lady. Hard, with 4 litres of water and 4 chocolate bars. Left at 10, back at 18.00. I could not walk for 2 days after that. What a beauty.
Did the little one make it to the top?
Nah, only matter it a third of the way. There is always next time. I did it before too, was a great trip up, I was knackered going down tho!
The views are so lovely. It’s a beautiful gift of nature
The Moo Moo must be really cute
It's about average in the cute stakes 😀😀
It's lovely up there!
Sometimes the kids win some, sometimes they make you lose some😂😂
So you guys didn't reach the main mountain because of his Moo Moo😔
The toy walks a fine line between cute and exceptionally horrid😂
I think the kids always win! 😀😀
Not really related, but I like that trail. It's so beautiful to me.
It is very beautiful!
The story is very beautiful. The hills and mountain roads are like a dream. I enjoyed it very much
Thank you, it was a nice walk!
You got the Chinese Scottish fucken moo moo? #weekcunt
Lol, just kidding, who could ever resist a Chinese made Scottish cow...especially when the little Boom was wailing! So, you never made it up to the top? #weakcunt
Don't worry, when I get up your way I'll drag your ass up there and we'll arrive like fucken Titans at the top and there will be much rejoicing.
Seriously though, amazing scenery, I wanna go! Waaaaaaaa! (And I want a moo moo too!)
The weakcuntery meant no summit achievement. I was bereft!! Them it started raining so it was all half to the coffee shop!!
We shall make it to the top clutching our moo moos!! 🤣🤣
Clutching moo moos and a lovely cafe latte from the coffee shop as well. One must!
What a selfie that would be!
Straight to instabook and onlyfans!
Always onlyfans first!!
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