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As long as I don't end up at the weird section of youtube where all the illuminati alien cyborg lizard people dwell i'm fine...
Oh look, just learned you need 322 condoms to stop a bullet! So if you need a bullet proof vest for your dick just wear 322 condoms on it!

322 eh, well it just so happens I never leave the house with less that 350... Just in case...

Safety first! I always leave the house with butter in my ass... just in case someone ties me and tries anything... The bad part is that i smell like popcorns all summer... or is that the good part?

Maybe it's better for us to stop here... we might take it to far with the jokes xD

Hahaha, yes indeed perhaps a line should be drawn before it goes beyond the pale!!

Problem is if there is a suicide bomber there will just be one very well protected dick and no body lol.

As long as the dick is ok! What is more important to you? Your body or your salami?

At least they will know it's you or a loved one can identify your dick.

That's some next level CSI Salami right there!

I am like one of those weird lizards and can regenerate from almost nothing so am laughing!!

Ok, i took it one step further... an ak bullet has 1997 j of energy, the nagasaki nuclear blast had 84TJ, since 322 condoms are needed to stop 1997j shot, then to stop a nuclear blast we need 13585133098945 condoms, if doomsday preppers realize this supermarkets will run out of condoms really fast! I can already see bunkers made out of condoms!

What about extra strong ones, would they reduce the number slightky? Or those bobbly ribbed ones, we gotta get smarter!! :0D

I suppose that would be more secure than a condominium.