I love the ending, LOL!
At the first mention and description of that juice, I knew it was green and chunky in nature. How did I know that immediately? It's due to my own customized concoction that looks like green slop and most definitely tastes much worse that what the Good Lady was drinking. Think of the taste of stone dust mixed with many other elements.
I have never seen black bamboo before. I can see why you're devastated. I didn't know bamboo will seed, then die, never mind what the seeds look like. You have quite a lovely backyard, now I know what bonny Scotland offers for backyard beauty.
My neighbour, Cheesy Penis popped his head up from over the fence where the luscious green locks of the bamboo had once barricaded them from sight.
What a visual, LOL! Plant those bamboo seeds so it's double blockage.