Why You Shouldn't Bother Making New Year's Resolutions

in #life6 years ago (edited)

Why New Year's Resolutions Are Bullshit

I love New Years, which is a strange thing for me to say, because I don't really love anything - not my friends, not my family, not Raymond, nothing.

Or it could be that New Years is like the cool after party to the awkward family gathering at Christmas, where you're conflicted between wanting to get black out drunk to numb yourself to the banal conversations, and refraining from drinking too much because some of your cousins have turned out to be pretty hot and you don't want to end up doing something stupid (if you can't relate here, I'm not weird - it's not my fault your cousins are ugly).

New Years is a different story - the lights, the music, the drinking, the dancing, the fireworks and hopefully, I won't have to come back and edit in 'the terror attacks' to this list. I'm generally quite introverted, but at New Years, I can position myself next to a pretty girl who's not my cousin during the countdown and score a pash like the best of them.

nye.jpeg
Be honest, when was the last time you saw fireworks sober?

But if there's one thing I hate about this time of the year, its New Year's Resolutions. This practice is balls and whoever came up with it can go choke on a fat one. For those of you foreign to this western tradition, it involves setting some lofty goal where you're guaranteed to give up on by about mid February, only to remember suddenly late December and attempt to cram in an entire year's worth of work into 3 days and failing. It basically like our attitude towards education.

So here's a list of some common New Year's Resolutions and why they suck:

Common New Year's Resolutions

Lose Weight - Over the past 5 years this has been my resolution, and during this time I've put on maybe 30 pounds. It's demoralizing in retrospect, as right now, I'd love to be at the weight I was 3 years ago, which evidently, I'd considered to be too fat already. It gets progressively worse the more I resolve to fix it year after year - it's very much the Michael Jackson approach to nose jobs and it's doomed to failure.

Improve Personal Relationships - A friend mine makes this resolution invariably every year. He tries to mend his relationship with his girlfriend by buying her all sorts of gifts, but this comes at the cost of his relationship with his wife. The point is, if you're somebody who is resorting to New Year's Resolutions to sort out your relationship problems, you're probably going to need more help than that. I'm just saying resolutions or not, don't be surprised if your girlfriend still doesn't like it when you fuck her sister.

Quit Smoking - This is the time of the year when cigarette sales drop while nicotine patches rise for about a month before returning to their normal equilibrium again. You have to weigh the damage smoking does to you and your loved ones against the pain and suffering you'll inflict on those around you from your stress induced mood swings due to going cold turkey. On balance, I think you'll be doing everyone a favor by continuing to rot your lungs away than stopping for a month, throwing a fit, then relapsing again all the same.

Quit Drinking - Ahh my old friend sobriety hic. Ignoring the obvious irony of pledging to not ever drink again while likely shitfaced and with a glass of champagne in your hand, most of us fall off the wagon within a couple of weeks. Plus, you don't need a New Year's Resolution to swear you'll never drink again and not mean it - it's more or less a weekly routine most of us go through while hunched over a toilet seat. That reminds me, time to update my AA Sobriety Coin from Ebay.

drinks.jpg
Quit drinking? Bottoms up to that

Stop Procrastinating - Can't think of anything for now, fuck it, I'll write a joke for this one later.

Learn Something New - 'After setting these New Year's goals, I'm now fluent in Italian and Chinese, abstract algebra was surprisingly easy to pick up and I've bashed together a more efficient compiler after dabbling in programming between my synchronized diving lessons...' said no one ever. Seriously, don't bother learning anything new, stick with sucking at all the things you already know you're shit at.

Don't Bother With Them

New Year's Resolutions are just endlessly disappointing, frustrating and demoralizing. It's like a birthday wish, except you have to do all the hard work yourself. Imagine finding a magical lamp and wishing to be rich only to have the genie enroll you in a 4 year accounting course or some shit. It's fucking bullshit, is what it is. My New Year's Resolution is to not have a god damn New Year's Resolution, and I encourage everyone else to follow suit.

Happy New Year everyone!


Sources:
Top 10 Commonly Broken New Year's Resolutions


Images from pexels


If you enjoyed this piece, please Upvote, Resteem and follow me @trafalgar.

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New year resolutions is about change and changing is difficult. Nobody wants change except wet baby. It is all about habits and patterns in your thinking and behaviour and those are though to break, but 5% still make it:). Make new year resolution only if you are truly committed, otherwise is just a waste of time and energy.

bah i'm, never truly committed to anything
but happy new year

That is fine, if that is working for you. Happy new year !

 6 years ago  Reveal Comment

But is still bullshit. If you want to change something why wait to make promises on New year eve? Who truly want to do changes in life dont do this.
Its only a self told lie to feel good for the moment.

I agree.

Looks like steemit is working pretty good if this is in trending good post!

Happy new year. Yes I agree. My new year resolutions at 2016 were almost exactly the same as 2017 and 2018.... LOL

I laughed hard on the alcohol and procrastination part. 😂 😂.
New year resolution, new year resolution, I stopped doing that since two years ago. What the hell, how can I make a list of what to quit, what to stop, what not to do, only to find myself going back to such.
If I stay away for a month, then you sure should give me a gold coin. If there is no resolution, I don't have to feel guilty for failing something I pledge not to do again.
Instead I tell myself and everyday I try to resolute/renew my mind. And it is working for me .
Lovely post again. Can I share on other platform or repost?

sure, feel free to share wherever
thanks for actually having a read
Happy new year

I wish you same and more.
May this year become fruitful to you.
Cheers 🍻🍻
You made it, as do I.

Quick one ----> would appreciate your upvote on my introduceyourself.
Bless your heart ♥ ♥

Totally Agree !
If you are planning on doing something Start Doing it right NOW , Dont wait till midnight.
IF you cant do it NOW, Then you will probably wont be able to do it then
Steem on :)

yup, absolute shit

Haha a familiar picture)))Friends happy new year I wish you a promising year for steemit!$)

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I only make one New Year's resolution and that's not to make any more. I've stuck to that every year.

yup, good for you, doing the same soon

Lol, Raymond. 😭

Happy New Year mate. 🎉 I was ready to pack it in at 11pm I was so tired, but I looked up at the ceiling in the bathroom and there were hundreds of baby spiders crawling on it. That freaked me out and I got my second wind and powered through until midnight.

I've always found New Year's resolutions a little funny. Why wait till the year end to set a goal. Set the goal when it comes to you. I have set and started New Year's resolutions on December 26th, January 8th and any other date you can think of.

We are such suckers for round numbers and new dates.

ya waiting until the end of the year and setting a goal you've already achieved sounds sensible to me
happy new year

The thing about new year resolutions is that sometimes it really limits us, sometimes the years turns out differently and dictate how things become for us.

Great thinking here buddy awesome post.

thank you, well said
happy new year

@trafalgar u r awsome as u were in small post.

Resolution and rules are made to be broken. Instead i would suggest......just do it ...thinking and making plans r waste of time...

@steemflow

haha well said

👍 Btw... Wishing you a Happy New Year! 🌹☺

Here is to this year's resolution

It's always good with goals though, just make sure to set the bar really low so you know you can achieve it !

Happy New Year to everyone !

I always set low bars for myself except in a game of limbo

Haha, that's great! Happy New Year to you!

@trafalgar, happy new year from me and my daughter @creatisa

happy new year to you guys too

Haha! Love to hear all the new years resolutions from everyone just to see them forget about it next week.

haha happy new year

Underline the goals of life does not remain exclusive to the new year but must be every day or even every hour .
I will greet you in a way that will welcome you to the New Year.
We must us be the origin and not always the tradition .
I wish you success in your life , Not just in the New Year.

that's far too much motivation than I can muster
happy new year

time to follow resolution of 2017 from today lol :D
wishing you a very happy new year :D

you too blazing
happy new year

70365fcde4b8e57aff34a022bb0beb4a.jpg

haha
still, fuck gym goers
and happy new year

I never make New Years Resolutions.

haha ya can't fail if you don't try
happy new year

Happy New Years in return. I know.

@trafalgar, Thank you for the newly suggest post.
New Year's Resolution terms I broke every year. But I must take positive action and see it will going to the goal. Better to try quite my smoke and drinking.

Happy new year steemians!

happy new year :)

Thank you...wish you the same.

Happy new year ! @trafalgar

I don't agree with you. I don't know if it's just me, But I often complete my new year's resolutions or at least close to complete.
It's important to have goals. Because if you don't have goals you'll stay at where you are.

i suppose i'm happy where i'm at
i've never set any goals in my life, been lucky so far i guess

Well, I guess it happens too. I wish you the best 2018 you could've ever imagine.

Of course , goals and manifestation is lots different in mindset than the sheer resolution. Such a big difference. Happy New Years!!

Thanks . I always feel smarter after reading your posts. Please keep sharing your thoughts. interesting post

happy new year

why not love anybody
love is good
and me love a lot NEW Year NIGHT

I have no love in me
but happy new year

fwa63.jpg

ya, cheers
happy new year

Happy new year to you!!

but at exactly 12:00 I'm a changed man

Hmmm, I think this is everything Ive never thought about but always felt, fuck new years resolutions

yes, that's the best attitude to have going into the new year

Well, at the end of the year, I promise not to drink anymore and I'm already drunk hahahaha

it's defintiely only a promise you'll make when drunk
like going to the gym
or marriage

hahaha i made a post yesterday about the exact thing! Basically i think ( and it's a fact) that life is unexpected so to say that you will do something at 2018 , you will probably face what's the true meaning of unexpected :p

Moreover i think it's like an excuse to justify what we haven't achieved this year and falsely convinced ourselves that ''don't worry next year i will make it happen"

ya it's another form of self delusion, where you can put off facing your own failures for another year
i suppose looking at it that way new years resolutions aren't that bad
anyway, happy new year

image

This pic sums it up quite nicely

yup, taht's exactly what happened

I've been sober for the last 4-5 new years eve so I've seen plenty of fireworks sober, to answer your question.
The reason I am commenting on this post, is because I just found it and since I just yesterday wrote a post on the same topic, I felt related to your headline. I agree with you completely, I just phrased it differently.

I'm glad to see that others think that way too, because everyone all around me (and apparently you) are making these revolutions. I am just counting the time to see them fail (sadly). Nah, kidding... or maybe not. ;)

Honestly, I have never made new year plans, maybe I should to it in the future?

@trafalgar - Lol. It is best to say "We should never take any serious decisions when we are drunk". Since we are never sober at a New year celebration, resolutions will automatically get postponed. It is kind of stupid anyway to pass a resolution of quitting drinking when I am full to the ears with all kinds of booze!! LOL

As usual, your writing style has a hint of satirical humor and I love it. I am trying to emulate that in my blogs but I do not think I come anywhere close to the master. :)

Upvoted full. Wish you a very happy and free of resolutions 2018 my friend.

Regards,

@vm2904

Happy New Year @trafalgar .I agree , new year resolutions are stupid and dumb.

I was firsts!!!!! =) 2018 already... nothing changed.... Proof? Making a post yeah! =)

My new years resolution is to stop making new years resolutions!

I am 100% with you!

If you really want to change something, you can do it anytime. Just because its turning January 1st does not make you ready for a change...

So what happens if you make a resolution to make no more New Years resolutions?

Fucking hell your posts used to be good.

NYR are a bit extreme is what the problem might be. From your example is learn a new language at a late age is difficult. A more viable would be learn a few sentences and test them out. My idea is that it should be stepping stone, baby step, something achievable. Like they really do the gym everyday and when they miss that one day it all comes crashing down. Better option is two days a week on Monday and Tuesday as we rarely do anything those days other than work to interrupt.

NYR are a bit extreme is what the problem might be. From your example is learn a new language at a late age is difficult. A more viable would be learn a few sentences and test them out. My idea is that it should be stepping stone, baby step, something achievable. Like they really do the gym everyday and when they miss that one day it all comes crashing down. Better option is two days a week on Monday and Tuesday as we rarely do anything those days other than work to interrupt.

More than new year resolutions we should push for new year actions. Do don't wish you have done!!!!
Upvoted!

I laughed hard on the alcohol and procrastination part. 😂 😂.
New year resolution, new year resolution, I stopped doing that since two years ago. What the hell, how can I make a list of what to quit, what to stop, what not to do, only to find myself going back to such.
If I stay away for a month, then you sure should give me a gold coin. If there is no resolution, I don't have to feel guilty for failing something I pledge not to do again.
Instead I tell myself and everyday I try to resolute/renew my mind. And it is working for me .
Lovely post again. Can I share on other platform or repost?

Amen! I had trouble reading this post. The multiple burst of laughter made me loose focus in my eyesight and I do in fact feel a bit dizzy now.

My second-best birthday present so far!

its nice fireworks, i like it so much. Happy New Year 2018

think.jpg

I read your post too late. Now I will have to wait till next year to have no New Year resolutions.

In the best of Christmas, travel outside the city and enjoy the companionship of friends
Really love the life of emptiness
Enjoy a moonlit night and bright winter sun
To love pyrotechnics and satirical gatherings

Happy year to all! May prosperity, love and peace be the lights that this 2018 illuminate each of their homes. Greetings from Venezuela

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