Imagine living for 30 years in a state of mental confusion induced by all the antidepressants various doctors kept pushing down your throat. And one day you find the courage to stand up to them, rid your system of all the drugs and wake up to discover you lost 30 years of your life. This is, in brief, the story of an American woman, Jane Tholen, who managed to reclaim her life as a drug-free person at the age of 70. The waking-up process and realization of what you've lost is horrifying, to use her own term.
However, it is not about the giant antidepressants business that I want to write about, but about this waking up to discover you've wasted a great part of your life under some mind-altering influence. It could be anything, religion, a controlling mother or simply complying with a social norm that condemns you to a boring unhappy life.
Let's say you were brought up in a devout church-going family and you were taught most things the others enjoy are sinful. Like spending a night out with your college mates or going to a rock concert and lets' not even mention casual sex.
Let's say you had an artistic soul, but were told you need to get real, be an engineer like your father and spend your whole life doing something that brings you no joy.
Let's say you grew up being told you need to obey your parents all your life because, well, they raised you and fed you. And if you don't do as you're told, you're an ungrateful child. And you definitely shouldn't marry X, he's a loser. Or the opposite – you must marry Y, have a family, make us proud, what would the neighbors say?
I'm not making up these examples, I'm actually describing people and families I know.
Hard questions
What happens when you wake up to realize you've missed out on a much happier life just because you've let yourself be influenced by someone else's judgment?
Let's say some major event in your life makes you question all your religious beliefs. Or the parents who have been pushing your buttons all your life die and you discover life as a free person. Or the partner you didn't have the guts to leave all those years ago suddenly dies.
How can you cope with the knowledge you could have had a different life? How can you come to terms with the fact that you've been lied to or, even worse, that you've been telling yourself lies all your life?
Tell the truth?
One other big question – what do you do when you see someone wasting his/her life? Not according to your own, possibly flawed, judgment. According to their own judgment and general unhappiness.
Do you have the courage to tell them - look, this relationship is making you miserable, get out of it.? Do you have the right to say such a thing? Is it even the decent thing to do – waking someone up to the news that they've wasted all their lives? Not that this is an easy thing to do - some people simply refuse to hear you, while others look at you like you must definitely be crazy. Sometimes I wonder if it's not kinder to let people go on with their lives as best they can.
What do you think?
Thanks for reading
Images: Pixabay
good take on the condition; it's not JUST drugs, but anything that prevents you from living life in joy
and my answer, which also applies to the other big question, is that you have to live as best as you can NOW as far as joy and purpose; so in reference to the question of your friend living under these conditions, yes, you tell them, but you don't ruin your friendship over it. bring it up, they will resist (of course), then back off and let them make their own decision
Very nice post
That's exactly what I did, backed off...there's no helping some people!
I was prescribed anti depressants when I was 20 or something for mild bipolar. I didn’t take them and worked on eating super well and working out to begin with it felt like I was jna. Dream and I was so disconnected from my body but from that point I somehow got into photography and art. I think depression is really being off course for me I’ve always felt it when I’m not following my path or when I’m not listening or able to hear my higher guidance and it’s always led on to a higher more enjoyable phase of life when I made the changes. The problem with drugs is they just suppress feelings and the person doesn’t make the changes in their life necessary to move past what they need to.
Meds are not the answer, indeed!
I lost 20 years from partying and drugs, does that count...?
😂😂😂
I don't regret my life in the slightest - and looking back after 'coming out the other side', feel like I have had charmed life, tbh...
....And never interfere with other peoples lives In my experience) - it's a guaranteed way to cause negative effects one way or another...
...and apart from that, no one really knows someone else's heart, only how it appears from the outside..
No, it doesn't count! You had fun after all😃
Awwwwwww, bugger!
No need to upvote me, as a way of saying thanks. You deserve your upvotes, I don't...
Just making an effort to post something/anything these days deserves appreciation - and I'd rather spend an upvote on someone who takes the time to read my posts, than trying to earn some curation rewards from big accounts... you know community building and stuff!
I completely understand your point, but still I don't feel like deserving any votes, not at least these days :D
Well, I guess that when I asked for a second chance with crypto, I really got it. Now I'm too afraid to buy :))
Perhaps it is even incorrect to assume someone has wasted their life because they've made grave mistakes.
The time for change always lies in the present.
I had some specific cases in mind when I wrote the post - the kind of people who come to you to complain about their unhappy lives, yet when you suggest the obvious change... nothing! Usually, the answer I get is 'yes, you're right', end of conversation, nothing changes...over and over again...
As for time, I don't know, the more you age the less time you have...
I'm curious about your quote - is it Aerosmith?
Google says it's a
I dun know, I just say things.
This triggers a reminder that this is the same mentality battered wives give when people tell them to leave the husband. How do we get stuck in these unhealthy situations for all eternity? So weird.
I suppose we convince ourselves that the solution is even worse than what we have. People are prone to stay the same rather than change. I know so many people who've lived within the same 20 mile radius their whole lives. Change is not easily accepted.