The Horrors of Kwiksave: The Date (Part Two)

in Writing Club2 months ago (edited)

The Horrors of Kwiksave’ is a candid recollection of my memories working at Kwiksave (the now-defunct discount supermarket chain) as a 'Stock Lad'.

I wasted over FOUR years of my life in this maggot-infested hellhole and still occasionally wake up drenched in sweat after enduring a nightmare in which I am working there still.

Some of the names have been slightly changed simply to save my arse in case anyone takes offence at some of the details regarding my facts or opinions.

Many of the people mentioned are now dead as this happened so long ago, but their siblings are not.

This is the 'HIVE Special Edition' of a multi-part autobiographical story (with a little over-embellishment on some of the details) I posted on STEEM over 3 years ago.

It contains a LOT more detail and content than the original and will fill in many gaps that were missed the first time around.



Other Articles in this Series:
Chapter One: A Prelude to the Best Job in the Land
Chapter Two: The Job Centre
Chapter Three: The Interview
Chapter Four: Christmas is Coming
Chapter Five: The Changing of the Blades
Chapter Six: The Staff
Chapter Seven: The Auxiliary Staff and The Load
Chapter Eight: The Sugar Maniac
Chapter Nine: The Accusation and "Big Lad"
Chapter Ten: Naggy
Chapter Eleven: Shit & Noise
Chapter Twelve: The Death of Mort
Chapter Thirteen: The Time of Many Managers
Chapter Fourteen: The Calm before the Storm
Chapter Fifteen: David Dire
Chapter Sixteen: Bad Totty
Chapter Seventeen: Tracy, The Wild One
Chapter Eighteen: 'Buff-It-up'
Chapter Nineteen: The Demise of Ian Banks
Chapter Twenty: The Date (Part One)


‘Some kids are best left to fend for themselves, and others were born to stack shelves’ – Steven Wilson


Chapter Twenty One: The Date (Part Two)

...'August 1983'...


So I had a date, we were to go to the ‘pictures’, that’s the Cinema in today’s world.

Why I chose 'there' I can't tell you. I did visit the pub in those years but a rowdy drinking establishment did not strike me as a great first date venue.

Eating out was not done much in those times, and besides, I was on the terrible wages that Kwiksave bestowed up on me, around £45 a week.

That morning passed slowly for me. All this had happened around 10 am, and neither of us was due to leave until 1 pm and what's more, a load was due.

...'looking at this image gives me fucking nightmares, seconded only to 'The Sugar Maniac'...

A 'load' was an articulated truck filled to the brim with pallets of food. It needed to be unloaded and stacked in the back shop ready for the next day.

Welder, me, and the truck driver did the work while Dire supervised from the sidelines; that is he usually ate his butties and did little else other than staring at us with those bulbous eyes of his as though we were the next course on his menu.

On that particular day, the truck arrived late which meant we finished late. There was no downing of tools unless you wanted the sack and I was irritated, to say the least.

Had I blown my chance with Barbara?

I raced out of the back shop onto the shop floor at around 1.15 pm thinking her already gone.

...'not Barbara, in-fact I have no photographs of her at all, and she was not naked in the Kwiksave foyer'...

…there she was, waiting with that small smile I was about to fall in love with. There was no sign of impatience and no frowning or tapping of the feet.

Screeching to a stop I immediately went tingly all over, approached her with tentative steps, and enquired where she lived in a gently probing voice.

I had an idea it was close to where I lived, as I had seen her on my bus several times but had kept my distance until now.

…’I didn’t know it yet, but I had stumbled upon one of the good ones, an exceptionally rare breed’…

Sure enough, one bus stop away AND in walking distance was her parents' house. We made plans to meet at 6 pm outside the Kawasaki motorcycle store, approximately 200 yards from her house, and then duly separated.

I don’t know how I got home that day as we technically should have been on the same bus, but until things were a little more ‘official’ it didn’t seem right to catch the same one.

Spending more time in that dratted supermarket was out of the question, so I have to surmise that I went to the pub with Welder bursting to inform him of later happenings.


What I wore was not important. I was not out to impress, it was she who had made the approach.

In the middle of 1983, the UK was firmly entrenched in the New Romantics age. I loved the music and yet looked like a Bay City Roller fan with long hair covering my lugs and possibly flares attached to my arse, minus that hideous tartan.


…’the Kawasaki store just a week ago. It’s still there but now derelict. The prospect of exploring it doesn't seem thrilling'…

Walking the three-quarters of a mile to the Kawasaki store I remember that I was not late for my rendezvous and neither was she.

The bus trip was unmemorable but when we arrived at the cinema, we had not booked anything.

There was also a wait of at least an hour before the movie we chose started. So we walked, and walked and walked around the town to kill time.


The movie was a distraction, and I didn’t care about what we were about to see. My focus was somewhere else and that was on Barbara. I would make her my girl.

She was tall, around 5'8, had shortish very dark brown hair that was in-style for those times, not a stunner, but certainly far from ugly, and was plastered in make-up.

After some time she grabbed my hand and I was more than happy to take it. I had just gained some of those butterflies in my stomach and life was wonderful.

I do remember the movie as ‘Unhinged’. It would become a member of the ‘video nasties’ group that was announced later in the 1980’s.

It was a cheap rate slasher movie with lots of blood, gore, and swearing. I can’t remember a thing about it, as it was simply background noise to our incessant chattering,

…’I was a geek, she seemed like a normal 16-year-old girl in-tune with current music and fashion, so why did we gel so well?’…

I was a late starter as geeks often are. Besides a little snogging with a couple of loose tarts at the ‘The Queens’ this was a first for me. The weekend after I was always disappointed when they were hitched with someone else and I was suddenly invisible.


...'The Queens Arms; it's now empty and derelict. I got pissed there on quite a few occasions. No, I have not explored it yet, though I dearly would like a crack at it'...

Time went ever so quickly and I wondered why this never happened when donning the halls of Kwiksave.

Then we were outside her parents' house I knew it was time for the kiss. There had been none of that during the screams, and violence we had duly ignored while 'watching' Unhinged.

True to form and using my full repertoire of learned romantic experiences I jammed my tongue down her throat routine and…, what was this?

It felt a little awkward. Surely at the age of 16 years, she was well versed in the art of tongue jamming?

She reciprocated with desire to my non-too gentle approach but something had felt wrong.

...'that first kiss was none too good. Barbara was an extremely quick learner and kiss number #2 was infinitely better'...

Was it a lack of experience? After the Kwiksave Christmas kisses and those occasional loose women, I was after all.. VERY experienced.

The first kiss had been just that, an awkward moment, but subsequent kisses had somehow worked, and there was none of that ‘sour-breath syndrome’.

The summer of 1983 is a blur. It passed quickly and for a while I was pulled off my Sinclair Spectrum into a world of walking hand-in-hand, sitting by river-sides, and getting to know the current girl of my dreams.

@slobberchops was in love...


Epilogue: The Sour-Breath Experience

I have deep-throated two girls in my life that had the ‘sour-breath syndrome’. You detect it right away once your tongue is down their throat and you wiggle your tongue around a little.

It’s a horrible, sour taste that sits in your head and never leaves. Subsequent dates with said girl probably won’t happen.

One was named Allison, a local girl with sprightly red hair who was very good-looking and didn't fancy me too much.


How I managed the snog, I can't remember but it happened just once.

The other was a 17-year-old American chick who I dated just once in Arizona. I was much older at the time and it should never have happened.

She took a fancy to me, but that’s where it finished.

I detected the same sour taste in both their mouths. You never can tell by looking at them without 'a taste'. I hope you can relate.


To be continued...

Cover Picture is a combination of free sources from here and here, combined and edited with Luminar 4. Any unsourced images are my own.


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How sweet! I have been waiting for this and almost missed it! Isn't love special? I love puppy love and I love first dates, not then, but now looking back.

The jamming the tongue down my throat. It can be so unsettling, especially if he doesn't know what to do with it. I mean, you are young and the dudes are new! What do you do with it? Enough tongue play and he will think he's getting lucky.

He's not.

This is memorable. I really look forward to the next one. I hope to keep Barbara alive and well!

I have been waiting for this and almost missed it! Isn't love special?

It was very special at the time. You don't forget your first one.. ever.

Sadly, it didn't last forever but did beyond my Kwiksave tenancy. I haven't seen her in years.

You NEVER forget your first love, it is true! I still hear from my first love in the form of a Christmas card, every year. I think very few first loves do last.

Thanks for taking the time to post this with many upgrades to the script.

Thanks for taking the time to post this with many upgrades to the script.

There is a little left to this story.., but the last year was somehow more blurry than the rest. Fewer changes of staff and Dire outlasting me did it!

Dire outlasting me did it!

No way!!!!

I've had a few tipples in the Queens, even went upstairs to the alleged night club once or twice.

I remember when Rawtenstall had 25+ pubs and you could complete a pub crawl whilst staying in your home town. Those days are sadly gone now.

We still got the only functioning Temperance Bar in the UK just down the road though.

The nightclub? I never did go up there, but frequented the pool room often, and experienced the sticky carpets.

We still got the only functioning Temperance Bar in the UK just down the road though.

Yes, I knew Mr Fitz well when he was alive. It was close to Kwiksave and I was a regular. Now its some expensive place with little atmosphere that doesn't sell Black Beer and Raisin. A place to avoid. The old jars have gone and the olde worlde feel with it.

I have deep-throated two girls in my life

thoughts sprang to mind of you and Linda Lovelace.........then I read the rest of the paragraph!

It was the only positive that came out of that shithole!


I remember those walks where you are killing time with a date before the pictures started. Ah the good ole times.

I had some similar experiences with the sour taste too. Also the confusing issue of tongues. My first couple of songs did and then I went out with a couple of girls who didn't and kisses were very awkward just move lips arou nd things. Lol, its funny looking back

Your know... Sharon with the bad tooth was awesome.., and the tooth didn't add to that sour taste. I do wonder if she ever got it fixed, Dentistry is immeasurably better now than the 1980's.

She would have. I remember a few folk with awful gaps or weird bits in their mouth and I meet them now and they have a big Hollywood beamer and its not false teeth! Well, not in the traditional sense!

Nice reference to the Bay City Rollers. I live right down the road from Bay City. Used to live in the town for a bit after I was first married. Sadly they really have zero connection to the town. They literally just threw a dart at a map if I remember correctly.

Fucking awful band, my hair just happened to be in that style. Call me 7 years out of date, nothing changes!

I really only know the one song by them. Other than that, they were never really that relevant to me :)

How sweet. Young love is a wonderful thing.

I often think about the past, not necessarily this part but in general. It all seemed far less complex then, less worries and problems.

You have less to worry about when you are young, but then I'm getting less stressed about stuff as I get on. Priorities change as you age.

Make sure your coffin is pre-paid. We probably are not quite at that stage just yet.

Nice story. Very touching. I'm glad it went well with Barbara.

I know what you are referring to with the sour breath syndrome. There are studies out there about smell and genes that suggest that when two individuals DNA is too similar they often experience the other person as smeeling unpleasant or bad. I wonder of the sour breath syndrome is similar in that regard? - if it's not based on something the person ate or drank I mean.

two individuals DNA is too similar they often experience the other person as smeeling unpleasant or bad. I wonder of the sour breath syndrome is similar in that regard?

That's interesting. Though there was no incest going on with either of them. One was a red-head, same as I used to be in my younger days.

Hahaha I wasn't insinuating incest at all on your part, but good to know. I think DNA and/or gene similarities can go beyond familial relations though. There is likely a lot that we don't know about that sort of thing

I didn't even think of your viewpoint. There's been other dates I have had where I could detect slight 'halitosis' and yet they didn't have that sour taste. Is it a different thing?

I'm not sure. I have to look up what halitosis means lol.....

....Okay bad breath essentially.

It could definitely be that. I suppose that would be a much simpler reason than what I came up with 😂

Sour taste from a kiss... Ewwww!🤧🤧

It has been a rare occurrence fortunately. Another girl I dated two or three times during my 'desperation years' had dodgy breath, but the kiss never materialised. Probably for the better.

This could discouarge people from ever trying again.🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don't think I've ever had a 'sour breath' experience, and I've done a lot of deep tonguing in my time. I could tell you about a couple of amazing-looking girls with poor toilet habits. 🤢

I could tell you about a couple of amazing-looking girls with poor toilet habits.

Please do..., its not like they will see or identify you.

I daren't. I'd also have to explain how I found out. Not exactly a topic for youngsters and sensitive puppies. Let's say, "You never know what you will find when you head down south to eat." 😉

(ENG) Hello, it was a pleasure to read you, as a great fan of the horror story genre and writer, I must tell you that I really liked the way of telling this story, especially when you provide data such as the distance in miles and the minutes elapsed, which allow you to place yourself within the events giving a touch of reality to that time space. How nice that the art of writing and your imagination allowed you to make the most of those lost years by creating great things. Thank you for sharing it with us.

(ESP) Hola, fue todo un placer leerte, como gran fanático del género horror story y escritor, debo decirte que me gusto mucho la manera de relatar esta historia, sobre todo, cuando aportas datos como la distancia en millas y los minutos transcurridos, que te permiten ubicarte dentro de los acontecimientos dándole un toque de realidad a ese espacio temporal. Que bueno que el arte de la escritura y tu imaginación, te permitieran sacarle algo de provecho a esos años perdidos creando cosas geniales. Gracias por compartirlo con nosotros.


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